Don't drive in a tornado or tornado like weather...its a bad idea...just don't do it!

Okay so we all know this right?  I mean I know this.  The problem is when you don't know how bad the weather is gonna be and you are already driving. 

So I met some friends in from out of town for drinks.  I knew bad weather was coming in overnight but not till after midnight, so I could leave by 10PM and be fine, right?  WRONG!

Right at 10 I started getting alerts on my phone, hmmmm odd.  Then I got a text from my mom...then from my hubs...then from my Godmother all about the impending weather...Uh oh, what is going on?!?  I pull up the weather map and there is a solid wall of red about 70 miles WNW of my house...should be at my house in 45 min - 1hour.  CRAP! Takes me 20 min to get home... Must leave NOW.  As if on cue a bolt of lightening so bright it lit up the entire area streaked across the sky, followed a bit after by a crash of thunder so loud it literally shook the building.  We were on the 2nd floor...it was f**king scary. 

Okay, I must leave 10 minutes ago.  I tried to rush our waitress but she was petrified and took FOREVER with my check.  Those precious minutes are gonna bite me in the @$$ aren't they..?

So I FINALLY left.  Minimal rain and wind but the light show that was happening...have you seen War of the Worlds?  That's what was f**king going on!

I was doing good.  At the rate I was going I should make it home WELL before the worst of it hits.  And then you factor in other drivers who are MORONS! So apparently what you are supposed to do in a lightening storm (little rain/wind) is slow down to a crawl while driving across a waterway and STARE at the f**king insanity happening all around you. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!  That isn't what you do.  You f**king drive because you don't want to be on the god blessed road when the bottom falls out!!!!!!!!!

So that was what happened.  I was half way across the bridge when Armageddon occurred.   The rain started coming down harder and harder.  The wind kicked up a bit but it was manageable.  We were all going maybe 40 MPH with flashers on.  You couldn't see much except when the lightening lit everything up.  This was 100% unnerving because we were over WATER and couldn't see $hit! 

Then it happened.  My phone went bat$hit crazy.  The radio went bat$hit crazy.  There were Emergency Alerts coming from basically everywhere.  Seek shelter NOW!  Where am I gonna find shelter I am on a f**king bridge?!?!!?

Before the reality of the situation could sink in a solid wall of white...water...rain...something...came CRASHING over the bridge from my left. I didn't hit the brakes, I just took my foot off the gas, I am fairly certain I screamed like a crazy person, and I prayed to anyone listening.  The wind was insane, the rain was insane, my car went from the left lane to the right lane....and then it was mostly over.  WTF?!?!!?  All the cars around me were stopped.  We all slowly started going again...before I knew it we were all going about 70 *f**k this $hit* MPH to get off the damn bridge. 

Clearly I am alive and made it home safely.  I can't believe I drove in that.  After the debacle at the restaurant I should have just stayed at my friend's house until after midnight. 

Lesson - Weather forecasts are just guesses...they have a 50/50 shot of getting it right.  This was moving WAY faster than they thought...I should have known better and just stayed put.

Auntie Em, Auntie Em! Oooooh Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore

So yesterday is now filed under things I never need to experience again...EVER.  It was a weather thing.  A BAD weather thing.  A REALLY bad weather thing that had 1/2 the state scrambling to shut down early so people wouldn't be on the roads.

The issue wasn't really rain, although that was a factor too.  The bigger issue was HIGH winds and potential tornadic activity.   While I have had the EA (Emergency Alert) on my phone go off before, had the tornado sirens go off before, had my parish calling/texting take shelter before, and even seen a tornado from a distance...I have NEVER been "in" one.  And I could live the rest of my life without experiencing another...PLEASE.

I mean I know we've been on the way "Outskirts" of tornadoes in the past but yesterday was different.  Yesterday was eerie.  I've had bad feelings before but I was a nervous wreck for a good portion of the day yesterday.  Mainly because the weather people were freaking out.  I was catching up on shows I missed when my phone really started going crazy with texts from family.  So I tuned to WDSU and my jaw dropped.  There was a tornado on the ground not far from me.   Thankfully it went just north of me but the fun wasn't over yet.  As I was staring out my back door at the sky I noticed the clouds looked "funny".  They were moving erratically, not in any one direction.  

I was debating if I should grab the animals and jump in the tub when insanity happened. 

- Everything went impossibly still. 
- Then blinding rain started coming down sideways
- There was a loud bang/explosion and the power was gone
- A siren went off 
- My phone went off 
- I grabbed two cats and two dogs and shut myself in the bathroom 

I know they say it sounds like a "train" and I can understand why.  But its not really a train.  It is quite a disturbing sound and hard to describe.  Almost like an angry moan.  It was loud and it went from moan to almost a shrieking.  You could hear $hit slamming into the house and then it was over.  It lasted minutes...seconds...I don't know.  So there I was in the dark, in the bathroom, with my phone screaming at me with alerts & seek shelter phone call/texts, and 4 frightened animals.  I literally just sat there pondering if I should exit the bathroom or hang out for a bit.  I opted to hang out for a bit.

Hubs called a few minutes later.

- Please tell me it missed us!?!?!? And y'all are okay. 
- Ummm I think so...I am in the bathroom and am not sure if I want to leave yet.

I eventually ventured out and *whew* the house was fine.  It took him 20 minutes to get home!  He works less than 5 miles away!!!   But all the damage and downed power lines made him take a crazy route to get home.  He said he was leaving work when it hit.  He said he looked towards our neighborhood and saw black clouds in the sky and a "wall of white".  He couldn't see the road/houses/businesses.

Y'all don't understand...it literally skipped our neighborhood.  2-3 blocks from us in most directions looked like a war zone but our little area just had some branches down, missing shingles, and broken fences...oh and no power.  How...???  It sucks!  Those poor people!!! Its only been three years since the flood and now they are missing roofs because of a f**king tornado!!!

We may not have power till Thursday or Friday...*gulp* that sucks! But ya know what...no power and losing my frozen foods is fine...at least my home, me, and my animals are all good. 

UPDATE - Apparently there were seven tornadoes in the area....SEVEN!!!  What the actual f**k?!!??!?