I think I need a restraining order!

How dumb can one guy be?!

Ok so the best way to a woman's heart is...by calling her a whore and then asking why she doesn't want to be with you...right?! OK so I was gonna do this right and actually try to talk to him...because thats how I roll. But the other night he texted me and said "So are you and ______ together now?" WHAT?!?!?! Seriously!? So at that point I decided he could rot in hell :P.

Tonight he messaged me...here is the conversation:

IG: hello NOLAGurl
NOLAGurl: Im filing my taxes whats up
IG: oh u know..
IG: just kind of wondering why i havent heard from you in almost 2 weeks
NOLAGurl: because you sent me a jackass text the other night so I figured it wasn't worth calling
IG: lets see, his face is the only guys face in your pics, lets rewind the clock here, your promos, Halloween, Abita Christmas Bash, BCS Championship, Rascal Flatts, Irish-Italian parade, shall i go on? anyway, all the time u make for your friend, "Purple ______" which im beginning to wonder to just how u know that exactly now....anyway, u call me a jackass, thats fine...
IG: youve been nothing but a lying bitch this whole time to me anyway whos done nothing but waste my time
NOLAGurl: Your an ass, thanks. insult me all you want. your suspicious, insecure attitude didn't help. And yes maybe I am seeing someone else now....or at least thinking about it... and NO ITS NOT ________
IG: i dont give a fuck who it is, thanks for wasting 7 months of my life
NOLAGurl: good bye IG
IG: i was nothing but understanding of you and all your emotional drama and bullshit and lies
IG: look where that got me
NOLAGurl: You blame everything on everyone else. I am a liar with emotional drama. You are a mama's boy who never grew up. I cared about you. Take that for what its worth. And no you weren't understanding you just like to tell yourself that
IG: hmm u live with your ex
IG: go out constantly and gotten fucked up how many times?
IG: and blew me off for the holidays
IG: and dresses like a teeny bopper for concerts
IG: and im the one who hasnt grown up?
NOLAGurl: We dressed up for NKOTB and your using that against me.... Look I need someone to like me for me.... And I know there are people out there that do/will. I like to be me. You never accepted that...and I think I may have found someone that does
IG: i never accepted being treated like shit
IG: i made all the effort
IG: u never did
IG: lets see our second date u were over an hour late
IG: lets see
IG: lsu-florida, u were too fucked up to see me, good thing i wasnt at Lagers already
IG: im in the quarter trying to meet with u and u dont answer ur phone, probably because u were with _______ or some shit
IG: Thanksgiving no effort
NOLAGurl: Um yea I wasn't with _______ and I was drugged for the LSU UF game…but thanks :P
IG: Christmas, blown off completely
IG: new years, never saw you
NOLAGurl: New years you hated me bc of christmas
IG: quite shocked i saw u for my birthday
NOLAGurl: Look I dont need to relive this and neither do you. I saw you for your bday bc I wantd to.
IG: what else a few weeks ago, u call me in th wee hours of the night
IG: working u promo, and u were trashed
NOLAGurl: I wasn't trashed asshole. I know why you have issues with women, you change everything to fit your reality. honestly Im not sure any of them were crazy...they were probably normal and got tired of your bull.
IG: hmmm youre the only real crazy one ive dated NOLAGurl
IG: youre 27, and act like youre 17, and the only thing u have on me, is that im at home right now, even though im currently working on resolving that as we speak, not that u need to know that
NOLAGurl: Good for you. I dont act like I am17. Just bc I have a life and you don’t does not make me 17. What makes me 17. My mortgage, my job, my love life? Really....most people think I am much older.... having fun and being immature are two different things. I have responsabilities...lots of them... and I am working on my situation too, not that you need to know that.
IG: just like u were working on it back in August right?
NOLAGurl: Nope actually different but it wouldn't matter to you. I'd move out and you'd find something else to hold over my head.... I'd stop going out and then something else would surface....I'd alienate my friends and then you'd finally be happy maybe. I dont really care anymore. I wanted to do this right but whats the point.
IG: just like the reason u didnt want me over in the beginning, had absolutely nothing to do with EX right?
NOLAGurl: huh?
IG: exactly how were u gonna make this right? just continue to ignore me?
NOLAGurl: No. BUT I wasn’t going to tell you to eff off via IM. I was going to be an adult about it and have a conversation...then you texted me on Monday about _______ which infuriated me and my date. I decided at that point it was pointless. there is no making you happy
IG: well lets talk now, what exactly did u want to say?
NOLAGurl: whats the point so you can tell me Im lying, imply that im a whore or try to make me think something wrong with me for being me....or refusing to end a friendship bc your insecure. Which part would end well???

As I type this he is still IMing me asking what I wanted to tell him and I have not responded. I am blocking him/deleting him on both social sites and vi IM.  I attract PYCHO PATHS!

The crazies had a revelation...

Is it possible to get someone to realize they are a lil' crazy?!?!?!

So Internet guy and I had a 'talk' the other night. I FINALLY got him to realize he's a bit crazy (that sounds bad but its true). I mean for goodness sakes after we were only talking a couple months he had a freak out and accused me of being on a date when I was in the quarter with my friends (not that I couldn't be on a date but still). And then the cornering of my friend at a bar and grilling him with questions about me. Not to mention the lovely recent accusation. After we didn't talk for a few days (I was trying to distance myself bc I am REALLY interested in Younger guy) he called and said and I quote:

IG: "Where have you been?! Why didn't you call me?!"
Me: "I was busy with family and other stuff, sorry. I texted you... and no offense but my life does not revolve around checking in with you."
IG: *yelling* "Well what were you doing?!"
Me: *Ok i am annoyed now* "Ya know I don't think that is any of your business..."
IG: "What were you doing?! Who were you F**KING??"
Me: *in shock now* "Are you kidding me? Thanks for that, I appreciate it. I have to go"
IG: "I want to know why?!"

This is where the rest of the conversation went...

We went over ALL the situations/conversations when he freaked me the heck out. And why bc of those neurosis' I did not want him around my friends/family. By the end of the conversation he was very sad but it needed to be said. I kinda eluded that I was seeing a new guy but I never said it because I am too nice to be hurtful. But I know I got my point across. I don't want to be with you, I don't want you to get to know me any further, I'm not even sure I can be friends.

Anyways, when we were about to hang up he said "I just want to say one thing to you please, *sigh, deep breath*". I stopped him and said please don't say anything whether its nice or mean its not necessary and will not affect my decision. He asked me to call him Tuesday (I didn't, I texted him and said I really didn't want to talk). Then he texted me yesterday and wanted to see if I was having a good day and if he could see me. I never replied... I am doing the right thing I think. He cannot separate fun dating with serious relationship, soooooo yea.

I don't think we will talk again. Although he has a couple of my books, grrr. I think he was trying to impress me when we first started talking. I told him I like to read and he 'pretended' to like reading also and borrowed a couple of my espionage books and never gave them back OR read them. So all in all I think I did what needed to be done. He was insecure, fake (see above comments for example), jealous and clingy oh and did I mention STALKER like tendencies... I do NOT need that.

History Repeats Itself...

Should you learn a lesson from others mistakes?

I think yes. Especially if you watch something happen to a friend or family member and start to see the same things happening to you. That should be a red flag that a similar situation is about to arise. What am I talking about you might ask. Well there are two situations that until things got out of hand with my relationship, I didn't realize how similar everything was.


1st: My friend has been with this guy since our freshman year of college. They were engaged by our Junior year and living together in NOLA. After a 5 year engagement he started to shut down. He didn't want to be intimate, communicate or give affection/attention. She ended up with someone else briefly, broke off the engagement and moved out. She was gone for maybe 6-8 months (if that) then moved back in with him. From what I know they never really resolved anything. Its a relationship of convenience. He does his thing and she does hers and occasionally they do stuff together. They decided (she decided) they would not marry or have kids. BUT they care about each other on some level. He shows it more than she does but the attraction is there no matter how much they try to hide it.


2nd: I come from a divorced family. I was young when it happened but I was old enough to see and understand some of it and what I didn't understand then was understood as I got older. My parents fought a lot. Mainly about communication, time apart/together and money. They blamed each other for everything and always thought the other was uncaring/cold. Then one day he left. There was no fight, no talk, nothing. He grabbed some clothes and left. No more talking or fighting...well until they went to court. Now they get along OK, but there is still so much tension when they are together.

I don't want to be like this...like either of the above. I want to be able to talk and work through things instead of letting things build up, blow up and then glaze over them. Its hard to talk especially about serious stuff but I know I can do it...I've been in enough relationships to know that its better to get it out. BUT my man (ex, I guess) doesn't understand it. I'm his first serious relationship. I hate being the learning curve! I can see it now...

We break up because he is unable to get past communicating THEN he meets another girl and he uses the experiences he learned from destroying our relationship to make that one work. When all along had he done it in ours we would have been peachy keen. I know its a little selfish to think of it this way but I can't help it. I seem to always be the learning curve they use to make future relationships work. Why can't I get the guy that has already F-ing learned!?!

But how do you do it? How do you save a relationship when the other person doesn't know how to be in a relationship this serious? How do you get your current man to learn from your previous relationship downfalls? I guess I'll find out soon...we are supposed to talk again...'talk' yea thats part of the problem right there...

I think I am single again :(

Have you ever been so blind sided by someone that you could barely function?

That’s what JUST happened to me yesterday. My “boyfriend” completely blind-sided me. We were talking about some stuff going on. And since I’ve been in the dark about his recent mood change I was kind of pressing him for answers. He said he didn’t want to talk about it right now. So I said OK, later then…and he said yea.

It was probably bad timing on my part because he was about to leave to go play golf but it just came up after he said something so I went with it. Anyways, we went in the living room and I started to pick up some stuff before I went to meet up at my dad’s (FYI my B-Day is Apr 29 and all this happened in Apr 27). Suddenly he starts throwing stuff around, digging in the trash inside, digging in the trash outside, stomping his feet, slamming doors. I thought about asking if I could help but last time I did that when he was like this I got my head chewed off. So I kept doing what I was doing hoping he would either find what he was looking for or ask me for my help. Well as I stood in the kitchen going through some mail that was on the counter, he started digging in the kitchen trash again. Suddenly he spun around got very close to my face and screamed (not yelled SCREAMED), “You wanna know why I’ve been so shut off?!?!?!? It’s because the happiest I’ve been in a long time was when I was in Denver!!!” I was so shell shocked and scared at the same time. He then lowered his voice and said “I was trying to wait until after your birthday to ‘talk’ about it. Oh yea and thanks for F-ing helping me find the gift certificate, just F-ing stand there and don’t help!” So I started to look but I was so upset and terrified of him that I ended up just collapsing on the floor and sobbing (it was very pathetic…I am not proud of it but whatever). You see I gave him a gift certificate to play golf for his b-day (Apr 17) and he couldn’t find it and evidently that made him very upset. Well as I cried on the floor he came inside and said he found it. He then changed his tone and apologized to me. Which didn’t do a lick of good because I was so freaking upset and confused then he said he had to go…he was late for the golf game and he left.

I called my BFF and cried in her ear for 30 minutes. Then I had to call my dad and tell him…which isn’t very easy…telling your dad that a guy, someone everyone thinks you are going to marry, just ripped your heart out and then left to go play golf. So I went to dad’s at 11AM and stayed until after 7:30PM

When I finally went home last night it was like nothing happened, he sat at the computer and I went take a shower… :P.

I finally started the conversation. He still was not talking. So I vented and told him everything in my head, why I was flipping out, etc. Then since I saw I was getting no where I said “how about I ask questions and you just answer?” He said OK. So I lightened the mood. I asked goofy questions at first like (in a very sarcastic voice) “Do you think I’m pretty?” and other funny questions. He laughed, then I got to more serious ones and he answered. He said he didn’t want me to move out and he was still working his ‘issue’ out in his head. And we actually talked, for the first time in a few weeks.

So why am I so upset still, you may ask? Well because I do NOT understand why he has shut himself off from me. We have been dating for 4 and half years. We’ve known each other for almost 8 years. He used to tell me EVERYTHING, then he started working for this large company (a year and a half ago) and doing well there and he stopped talking to me. He shut out everyone in his life. I do not know what to do. I am going to stay at my dad’s house for a few days to let things settle down but will that be enough? Am I going to just have to bite the bullet and move out? I have no idea and not knowing is the most difficult thing in the world to deal with.