I said 2021 needed to chill, not FREEZE the South!

So obvi with COVID still running rampant Mardi Gras was cancelled.  Well the parades and formal parties were canceled and I get it, but b**ch you cannot take MY holiday!  

I love holidays but Halloween and Mardi Gras are my FAVORITES.  So even if I can't parade and get silly with my family & peeps, I am still celebrating...in place.  

On Kings day I decorated.  I have Purple, Green, & Gold lights, a Mardi Gras Wreath, and countless beads and Mardi Gras  stuff all over.  It makes me happy.  I mean 80% of my decor was caught from floats over the years but it works.   

We are still doing the King Cake thing because who the eff cancels King Cake?!?!  And on Mardi Gras  Day we had plans to sit on a porch and people watch because although all the $hit is shut down you know there will be people roaming the streets looking at House Floats and other decor.  And we were probably going to go looking for House Floats ourselves.  

Oh right and that's something we did too.  We couldn't go to parades so THOUSANDS of houses became floats you can visit on your own time AND City park did a reverse parade.   Floats in the Oaks, where you drive past the parade.  Look you can "officially" shut it down but you can't kill our spirit.  Mardi Gras is our holiday, we will figure out a way to still have SOMETHING!

I mean look at this, this is SE LA.

But wait...look at the US.

It all over the world. Not as much as down here but look at the Mardi Gras spirit everywhere!!! God, I love my City...sometimes haha

https://www.kreweofhousefloats.org/map

Moving on.  We've had cold Mardi Gras.  We've had years where just catching a pair of beads caused immense pain because your hands were basically frozen.  But this year is about to be a record year for cold.  As of right now when we wake up on Mardi Gras Day it will be 26 degrees with wind chills in the upper teens.  Pardon me but do we know we live in the South?  Like the DEEP SOUTH!  

So Monday we will be shut down for Icy Roads..again.  Hopefully not this far South but only 20 miles west of us they will have possible snow so WTAF Mother Nature?!?!?!

Like I said 2021 needs to...let's go with calm the f**k down! Whatever, I am celebrating something so happy Mardi Gras y'all!

It's like a nest of vampires!

As I was cooking dinner, I noticed Thing 1 and Thing 2 rubbing their faces on something in the yard.

So I go out to investigate and see something white in the grass.  

That's about when the white blob was yeeted at me.

So my fearless "hunting" dogs caught another f**king opossum!  

I thought for 2 seconds it was one of the ones from the other night but no.  This one was not massive but also not small....it was somewhere in between....

Speedy not wanting to leave his prize is circling like a shark.  Lil bit went to the door when I screamed.

I dragged Speedy to the door and threw them inside.  I went back out with a flashlight.

That's when I saw the blood

Wait did he actually injured this one?!  So I knelt down and saw it was breathing *whew*.  Is it *whew*, I don't want it to suffer....

I came in to call animal control since its hurt and of course check my idiots for injuries.  Both are fine but neither have blood on them.

Went back out and it had moved a little but froze when it saw me.  I got closer and could see the blood was on its side by the back leg.  I don't think the dogs did it.  Speedy had it by its neck.  I got closer, it looked like holes...like maybe a BB gun or something.  F**king A, someone shot it!!!

Okay now I'm mad.  I am almost positive an injured opossum came into the yard because some dip$hit shot it!  

My dogs are acting on instinct to catch prey.  They are rough but generally don't injure or kill.  But a human shooting an animal in a residential area, come on.  I get they are "pests" to some but it was hurt.  If you are gonna be a dick at least finish the job.  I called back animal control and left that on the VM too. 

He/she is gone now, hopefully it's okay.  

That Sir, is not a toy!

So my Speedy, oh Speedy has a fondness for proving to me he is in fact a hunting dog, even if he is scared of his own shadow.  

The other night I was trying to go to bed early because I had a race the next morning, which meant I decided at 9:30 it was a wonderful time to clean my house.

Around 10:40 I let the pups out to potty before bed and went about finishing my cleaning.  As I walked to throw something away I happened to look into the yard.  All I saw were two dog butts poking out of the bushes and wiggling.  

I opened the door and just before I can hollar, Speedy yeets something furry out of the shrubbery.

Now I'm running and he is pouncing on whatever it is, when little bit comes trotting out gently holding something else furry in her mouth.

So I start yelling.  She drops it and comes to me, "good dog".  He on the other hand is circling his "kill".  I am freaking out not knowing what they caught, but as I got closer .......

It was a GIANT F**KING OPOSSUM and its baby.  

No really, it was HUGE!  Speedy is literally tossing a 20 lb opossum around like a rag doll as lil bit ran around in panicked circles and I yelled for him to drop it.  

Everytime he starts to go towards the door, he doubles back and pokes it with his nose, like he's trying to get it to move.  Finally someone hears me and comes outside to tell me to stop yelling like a crazy person before going "HOLY $HIT!"  Yes, I know, help me!

So I am standing over something like this....but WAY bigger....covered in dog drool....

....an ugly stinky marsupial with freakishly sharp teeth and its baby...playing possum...trying to keep my dog from murdering it further.

We finally get Speedy to leave his "kill" and go inside.  During the commotion the baby waddled off but momma was not moving.

So we poked it with a stick and it hissed "whoo hoo it's alive".

When we got inside we checked out the pups for bites/scratches (all good) and realized he smelled AWFUL!  I didn't really know opossums smelled funky but I guess that makes sense.  

It's like this musky, dirt smell.  

So at like 11:30 Speedy got a shower and we got maybe 5 hours of sleep.

I swear I didn't plan on getting sloppy

Ha...hahaha! Okay so not sloppy but definitely not good.  I don't drink terribly much and when I do it's just a couple.  But the other night...dear god what was I thinking??!?!!?

We went to dinner where I had 3 Old Fashioneds. THREE! I am buzzed from one usually so what possessed me to have 3 is beyond me...

But I did and I was fine. I know this because I had on 5" heels and managed to not fall on my face walking to the car on NOLA Potholed streets.  This is not easy sober so I am going out on a limb and saying the 8 course small plate meal was enough to mostly counter the effects of the 3 glasses of almost straight bourbon!

Then we went to a friend's house for after dinner board games and MORE Drinking.  WTF woman you are not 21 anymore!!! You cannot drink like that and be functional the next day.  Over there I had 3 glasses of wine.  THREE!  Along with chips, peanuts, and other random snackies.  Because the 8 course meal wasn't enough.

I remember saying it was time to head out. I don't remember leaving.  I don't remember the ride home.  I don't remember putting up my coat.  I don't remember feeding the dogs.  I don't remember laying down on the couch.  I don't remember ANYTHING after saying we should head home until 6AM when I woke up on the couch in my dress with makeup still on, a knotted mass of hair, and a cat on my chest.  

I waited for the pang of a headache, the nausea, the hangover...but nothing happened.  So I stripped down, put on a t-shirt and went to bed.  I woke up at 8:30AM and still no "hangover".  How is this possible?!?!?! I've had hangovers after drinking way less.  

The hubs was also past the 6 drink mark but he remembers everything, including me having a full conversation and passing out mid-sentence.  

He didn't have a hangover either.

Around 10:30AM I had a ridiculous craving for a burger, so we got lunch.  AFTER I ate the tell tale signs of nausea and just uncomfortableness kicked in but nothing bad and still no headache.   My only conclusion is I drank a ton of water at dinner, at my friends, and when I woke up at 6AM somehow saving me from a wicked hangover.  

I didn't feel great but at least I wasn't hurting for days like some people my age complain about after a night of binge drinking.  It was a lazy day after but the animals weren't complaining because we cuddled on the couches all day.  

So you just happened to be running right behind me...?

This...world makes me so freaking paranoid.  I've been trying to stay active and it's really hard because the sun sets so freaking early!!! I finally just sucked it up and started running at dusk/night.  

Can I tell you as a female, that is f**king scary!  I live in a safe area.  I have active neighbors who are outside all the time.  It was just after christmas so the area was lit up with lights.  But I am smallish and know full well no where is actually safe. 

That's why as I was running the other day I got so effing freaked out!  

I run listening to music but I can still hear the world around me which is why I about had a heart attack when I realized I heard another set of feet hitting the concrete.  I was doing speed intervals but didn't want to slow down. 

I couldn't see anyone in my peripheral but it was very dark with only the street lights every so often where I was.  And I wasn't near my house, I was in the back of my neighborhood. So I decided to change up my route.  As I did, I looked over my shoulder and saw...no one.

So now I think I am insane and paranoid.  I slowed a bit but kept going.  Then I heard it again.  

I muted my music.  I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ears and could feel my breathing getting labored, I was tired and scared.  I turned a corner and saw some people outside so I slowed down.  

I was cracking my neck when I noticed someone WAS about 100 or so yards behind me.  

At this point I was about 3 blocks from my house so I took off.  I was sprinting (I do NOT sprint).  

I made it home in record time, 100% ignoring the prompts from my running app.  As I ran up my driveway my shadow was running by.  He was probably 6'3" and skinny fit, young-ish and possibly attractive (it was dark!).  He said breathing heavily, "Good Run! I didn't think I was gonna keep up today!" and he kept going.  

 What...what just happened?!?

2 days later I left about 10 min later than normal bc work is stupid.  As I  was coming down one of the streets I saw him come out of a house on my route.  

My assumption is we are on a similar schedule.  I am fairly certain he runs behind me EVERY DAY and I was just a little late that night so I noticed him.  

Its like some weird unorganized running group...of two. Maybe he doesn't want to run alone or maybe he doesn't want me to be alone.  Maybe I should ask...

It really is sad how scared I was initially. It's warranted, you really don't know what kind of crazies are out there.  But at least now I seem to have an unofficial running buddy.  

Getting old is a b***h!

 Especially if you are an almost 17 y/o cat!!!!

So as per usual I work at my desk and answer the call of the kitty when she fusses.  She is partially blind and walks a little wonky so she gets lost on occasion.  Then we have a Marco Polo conversation so I can find her or she can find me and re-orient her. 

Well the other day she stood up and started fussing.  She looked confused so I carried her to her litter box where she promptly peed.  Okay good deal! 

Then she started walking around the pee pee pads (there for my sanity) and squated.  I was like are you pooping...? Her little legs were shaking but nothing happened, then she walked off.  Okay....maybe not pooping. 

I went sit back down.  Then I started thinking.  I don't think I've seen poop from her recently (the joys of having a geriatric pet...you know their poops *facepalm*). 

She wandered in my office then immediately started meowing loudly! She squatted and her little legs shook and she farted.  I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE HEARD A CAT FART!

Girl, what is happening.  Thinking she just had some major gas I went back to working.  But you could tell she was uncomfortable and wandering. 

CRAP!  The cat is constipated.  Thankfully I have some handy dandy pumpkin I can give her.  So I sat on the floor with just a teaspoon or so in my hand.  And told her, "okay it takes a little time to work but it will help."  Because you know she totally can understand me. 

Mind you she LOVES pumpkin.  

So she is under my desk just gobbling up the pumpkin when suddenly she tensed up, MEOWED, and shot a turd (3 times the size of her....um butt) out at terminal velocity. 

It smelled AWFUL!  But all I could do was laugh.  She was a happy kitty again and went curl up in her bed leaving me to chase off DISGUSTING dogs and clean up the mess.  

I guess she got excited for the pumpkin and well the rest is history, HA!

So like the X-men...?

Weird dreams are my jam lately.  So after falling down a mountain. My subconscious decided to be just plain weird. 

This is one of those jumpy dreams but what I remember is VIVID.  

Anyways so I was in "college".  But it was NOT college.  It was basically a prison camp for gifted individuals.  And I wasn't college age...I was my current age.  Everyone there was of varying ages and had...talents.  Except me.  I was known as the "weirdo" without a talent.  

You see sometime in 2020 (f**k 2020) there was an event of sorts.  This event affected our DNA and certain individuals ended up with a mutated gene causing varying powers.  But not everyone was affected and the ones affected were the minority so the normies were scared of us hence the "camps".   

The reason I was there even without a "talent", is because I had the mutated gene, I just never exhibited anything.  But fear of my potential sent me there, yay humanity *rolling eyes*.

It jumped around alot but I remember a one point being in a cafeteria eating.  I had friends, really good friends, but I was also made fun of a lot because I was basically nothing special.  It sucked but I dealt with it.  Jumping ahead, I was in my "dorm" after being assaulted by some jerks and was having a serious anxiety attack.   Suddenly I was glowing, a rainbow of hexagons blinking around me like some cracked out aura.  As I calmed down they faded.  WTF?!?

It jumped again and I was in an empty classroom freaking out.  I had just been tortured (again?!?) by these guys all in black trying to draw out a "talent".  Once I was alone my weird hexagon aura showed up rapidly blinking all around me.  Except, I was NOT alone.  My friend, who was a scientist that "studied" us but didn't agree with the "camp" situation happened to be in the room. He scared me and I suddenly "blinked away".  I was invisible.  And I only knew I was because he nervously asked where I went.  

It jumped again weeks...months...(?!?) and I was working on controlling my emotions and my talents.  I made a habit of invisibly wandering around campus and into "secure" areas trying to find out what was happening; my scientist friend kept my secret.  

Jumping AGAIN, someone new was brought to the camp.  He was an anomaly.  Apparently he was filming a new movie when he burst into colorful hexagons scaring the bejesus out of his costar.  When they tried to restrain him he disappeared briefly.  No one, including the scientists nor the actor himself, understood  what caused it to manifest as they couldn't get it to really happen again.    

So I sent him a note to meet me in a dark abandoned auditorium (that's not creepy).  I waited invisible in a  seat.  He seemed nervous but in control.  He sat down near me.  I gently caressed  his forearm causing very faint "blinking" but he was unaware of me still and confused why he was "blinking".  I leaned in very close and whispered, I know how to control it.  He burst into a full spectrum of colors and was breathing heavily trying to figure out where I was.  Before he could speak I told him try not to react to me...pretend I wasn't there.  As the blinking calmed a bit, I climbed over him not touching but straddling, hovering just above his lap.  It was like a weird seduction but that wasn't my plan, I could give two $hits about seducing him.  I was no longer alone!  Just as he thought I had left and was relaxing I "ground" down (...grind... you get the idea) and spoke into his ear. "The key is extreme emotion".  It scared the absolute crap out of him & maybe kinda turned him on a bit... He disappeared briefly but in that brief moment he could see me and I could see him...sort of.  WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!? It was just a vague human shape and a color...I was clearly female, pinkish purple and he was clearly male and a royal blue.  He reappeared and as I was contemplating having more fun with him or bolting away, I was punched in the eye.

Wait what?!?!  Who punched me?!?!  I was now awake in a pitch black strange room (Ah, still on vacay) and was seeing "colors" behind my  right eyelid BECAUSE my husband had just backhanded me in his sleep.  Dammit!  That dream was just getting really good! 

The hit wasn't hard, I was fine, and he felt awful. 

Fin