I swear I didn't plan on getting sloppy

Ha...hahaha! Okay so not sloppy but definitely not good.  I don't drink terribly much and when I do it's just a couple.  But the other night...dear god what was I thinking??!?!!?

We went to dinner where I had 3 Old Fashioneds. THREE! I am buzzed from one usually so what possessed me to have 3 is beyond me...

But I did and I was fine. I know this because I had on 5" heels and managed to not fall on my face walking to the car on NOLA Potholed streets.  This is not easy sober so I am going out on a limb and saying the 8 course small plate meal was enough to mostly counter the effects of the 3 glasses of almost straight bourbon!

Then we went to a friend's house for after dinner board games and MORE Drinking.  WTF woman you are not 21 anymore!!! You cannot drink like that and be functional the next day.  Over there I had 3 glasses of wine.  THREE!  Along with chips, peanuts, and other random snackies.  Because the 8 course meal wasn't enough.

I remember saying it was time to head out. I don't remember leaving.  I don't remember the ride home.  I don't remember putting up my coat.  I don't remember feeding the dogs.  I don't remember laying down on the couch.  I don't remember ANYTHING after saying we should head home until 6AM when I woke up on the couch in my dress with makeup still on, a knotted mass of hair, and a cat on my chest.  

I waited for the pang of a headache, the nausea, the hangover...but nothing happened.  So I stripped down, put on a t-shirt and went to bed.  I woke up at 8:30AM and still no "hangover".  How is this possible?!?!?! I've had hangovers after drinking way less.  

The hubs was also past the 6 drink mark but he remembers everything, including me having a full conversation and passing out mid-sentence.  

He didn't have a hangover either.

Around 10:30AM I had a ridiculous craving for a burger, so we got lunch.  AFTER I ate the tell tale signs of nausea and just uncomfortableness kicked in but nothing bad and still no headache.   My only conclusion is I drank a ton of water at dinner, at my friends, and when I woke up at 6AM somehow saving me from a wicked hangover.  

I didn't feel great but at least I wasn't hurting for days like some people my age complain about after a night of binge drinking.  It was a lazy day after but the animals weren't complaining because we cuddled on the couches all day.  

Apparently, I love scotch......

Or I've just really had that much of a f**ked up week and I gave up wine and beer for Lent...You thought I was kidding!!!!!!!!!! (see end of this post)

Yaaaaassss!

I may or may not be feeling REEEEAAAALLLLYYY good right now.

Yay for FREEEEEEE Scotch tasting!!! 10 different kinds of Scotch to try!

I may or may not have realized I actually enjoy the $hit out of Scotch...who knew!?!

I can't...yes I can...no...maybe I need food....yASSSSSS food!  I have the SCOTCH giggles....

Okay okay, I'm good...I made FRIENDS!  Like old people friends...do only old people drink Scotch. My dad drinks Scotch...but I like it...I'M NOT OLD...well not that old...shhhhhh

I have posted four David gifs...I should stop now...but he's Scottish...and I'm drinking Scotch...or was drinking Scotch...stop judging me.

Hmmmm maybe I need sustenance...

Oh I'm gonna to feel this tomorrow...

Do you ever get drunk....

....and just utterly embarrass yourself???

I don't drink often. Actually almost never.  I mean a glass of wine here and there or a beer but that's pretty much all.  Then I go out or am feeling carefree and for some reason think I am still in College.  And I, well, um, DRINK not just drink.  It's bad.  Well its fun(ny) and I make people laugh but when the glimpses of the night before come flooding back I want to crawl under a rock.  I thought about this because I read my fav blog today The Bloggess and laughed so hard I cried.  It was a post about search terms that lead people to her blog.  One stood out, okay well a few stood out.  You should read them, funny shit!  Anyway, one REALLY stood out, “Fuck off.  I’m fabulous.”  It stood out because I said something close to this the other day.  I mean I was totally joking, I think, but I said it none the less and then wondered if in my drink enhanced stupor I googled this and ended up on Jenny's blog. 

I don't even remember the context but I clearly recall, and by clearly I mean not clearly at all, someone teasing me and me being all giggly said "Oi, fuck off. I'm fabulous".   Which probably came out more like "oooooooooiiiiiiiii, frcusk uuff. I fablooos *fit of giggles*".   Either way, as suggested on her blog, I need this on a t-shirt because reasons. 

So I started wondering if I was internet-ing while incoherent-ish.  So I checked some of my social sites and yep I was!  Apparently, I was on a certain site that caters towards all things fan related.  Well it caters to other things but I use it for all things fan related.  And can I just say...I am FUNNY! 

Apparently I was having a WONDERFUL time slipping in Whovian jokes (among other nerdisms) and no one noticed cause they are not nearly as cool as me.  I'm like a bow tie (OMG am I still drunk?!?).  I know this because I was posting about it online thinking I was hilarious!

At some point, while discussing the lengths my friend will go to in order to continue looking young, I said "By the time its said and done all that's left of you will be a bitchy trampoline".  She laughed her ass off but had no clue what I was referencing.  I'm actually more surprised I didn't slip in a "moisturize me" joke.  Then my husband was playing the part of the only one who could get our nephew to stop yah yah-ing.  Others said "he is the baby whisperer" to which I  replied "oh he speaks baby...didn't you know? You are all peasants".  Come on....that's funny!  I vaguely remember saying these.  One I don't recall completely but thankfully typed some of it out had to do with a complete stranger who was being an ass, I hate douchey people. They make me stabby.  Except when I'm drunk, in that case they make me...weeeeeeeeell just read on.  I have no idea how but I made a "hermit" reference and he said "whatever freak, you have friends" and I said it was our 5 year meeting to discuss caves (I am aware this is way off from the original quote but I can see where I was going with it).  I'm pretty sure at this point my husband dragged me away to drink a lot of water.  Also, my friend kept correcting me because I said I thought a lot of things were "Shiny" even if they weren't at all reflective (oh geez).  Then the kicker.  I wiped out!  My leg just stopped working all together and I have the bruised knee to prove it.  And I said something along the lines of "it's cool just a leg power nap, better stay here I heard the other one yawning".  It may not have even been that close to the original quote but it was close enough.  Truthfully, I think everyone thought I was on drugs at this point because unless you have seen the shows I was attempting to quote, I just sounded like an idiot.  There were more (this went on for a while) but these were my funniest moments.  And during all of this is where I am 99.9% certain I said "Oi, fuck off. I'm fabulous".  Which is where this random blog post got started. 

I know these are not exact quotes but give me a break I was on at least my 4th glass of wine and maybe some rum and minimal food.  I am impressed I managed to remember said references, semi-coherently say them and manage to post it on the internet. 

Of course throughout the next day I would randomly groan to myself.  Not because I was hungover (I was surprisingly okay) but because I am not usually that outspoken and feel like a goober.  Oh well, C'est la vie.

6th, 1st Date (I'm starting to lose count)

I'm on a streak...another good date, YAY!

Wow, I was not expecting to have so much fun. Okay, so I met this guy online (don't judge). We talked via social network site for a while, then I decided to give him my number. So we been talking on the phone and via text for a couple weeks. He seemed really nice, easy to talk to...and based on his pics kinda cute. My only reservation(s): I met him online, he works as a Manager at a home improvement store even though he has a degree and there was one physical thing (superficial I know but it stood out) he has a large forehead... but he still looked cute. Anyways so he finally asked me to go out this weekend.

After dinner at dads I went meet him for a movie. Tropic Thunder...HAHAHAHAHA so wrong in so many ways but Oh so funny!!!!! Anyways when he walked up I was like, why hello there; he was all stylish looking, very attractive. And he is REALLY tall. I had on 4 inch heels, and I came up to his shoulders, hahaha, I am so freaking short. Anyways we watched the movie and it was nice. He held my hand about half way through the movie. He seems very affectionate, I dunno it's just a vibe I got. Well after the movie we went hang out for a little while at this bar/grille, had a couple drinks and chatted.

We talked...ALOT. Just random things, ya know getting to know each other I guess. Well anyways, I completely lost track of time and before I knew it, it was 8:45. I had to go home, I have work early in the AM. We walked outside and were standing under this awning thing. We were waiting to see if the tropical storm going on outside would slack up enough for us to get to our cars. So we talked a little more and I shivered because it was quite windy and damp. So he put his arms around me and hugged me and it was really nice (I could just be attention starved but thats a whole other issue to blog about, haha). So we were standing there and I looked up and I think he was about to kiss me and both of us cracked up laughing because we heard the music from inside. It was Nelly, stepped on my J's...it just didn't fit with the moment.

Well we finally decided to make a dash for the cars, it had slacked up a bit but it was still a fairly steady drizzle. So we get to my car and I throw my purse and all inside. Well of course I am going to hug him and tell him good night he took me to the movies and drinks, I at least gotta say night. So I did and I looked up to say goodnight/thanks and this time he did kiss me :). And I must say, he was the best thus far. It was very romantic, I mean, WOW. So there we were just kissing...in the rain. Talk about getting lost in the moment. Anyways we finally said goodbye and I looked like a drowned rat but thats besides the point, haha. And I couldn't stop smiling, I wasn't supposed to like him, it was just a "sure why not, lets go on a date". I didn't plan on kissing him goodnight, that's not a guaranteed thing on a first date. Well after talking for a couple hours I kinda hoped we might but I totally didn't plan on it especially since it was raining.

So there ya go. I checked something off my must do before I die list, have a romantic kiss with a cute guy in the rain, hehehe. So all in all, I am thinking good date!

4th First Date, Yea Another One ;)

Seriously, Do I have "I ♥ Dorks, tattooed to my Forehead"????

So I went on a date with this guy. He works with at the same company as my Aunt. Talked to him on the phone and saw some pics and he seemed cute-ish. The PROBLEM, in the pics he had on a hat and/or sunglasses. So we meet up and my first thought was "Hmmmmm, he kinda looks like my High School Sweetheart", and that was it no chance of attraction. Not that I do not like my HS Sweetheart but I wouldn't want to date him again therefore this date was pretty much over the second it started. But you can't hold it against him so I gave it a chance.

We went eat at Outback and there was a wait. So we are waiting in the bar area and I am like "I need a BEER", haha (it had been a ROUGH week). So he goes to get us drinks. I am standing there and this guy walks up to his wife, who is sitting at the bar in-front of me and says "Dumb blonde hostess said 20 min, 25 min ago and now just said another 15 min to wait. Dumb blonde b---h." I didn't say anything, then he turned around and was like "Oh hey there, uh no offense." And his wife/gf told me I could feel free to dump my drink on him. He he. They were super nice and funny. There were two seats by them and they offered them to me and my date. Well the guy turns around and sees my date with this MASSIVE beer (Abita Amber) and he said "Think you can drink all that man." To which my date replied, "Its for her." The guy turned to me and said "Thats for you? My kinda girl!" And gave me high five for it ;) Haha. Well my date sat down and he didn't have a drink. So I am thinking "OMG really another NON-drinker, are you freaking kidding me!" Not that I want someone who is a hardcore drinker but I like to have fun and I usually drink soooooooooooooooo someone who will drink with me would be nice.

Well our new friends went to stalk a table by the bar, and we talked and kinda got to know each other a little while waiting for a table. Well I notice the table behind us is about to pay and since we are in the bar and its every man for himself in that area I started watching closely. He was like are you really gonna snatch that table when they get up...I was like HELL YEA, I'm hungry ;) haha. So I did and he was like, WOW. That's when I realized how "Innocent" he was.

So here's the low down: He drinks just not a-lot...just because, he has NEVER tried any Abita beers and he has lived here all his life, He's never HEARD of Jager - which blows my mind because he went to college, he doesn't really go out, he lives on some acreage his parents gave him and has farm stuff, he's an IT guy, he's into NASCAR (I almost died), his idea of fun is outdoor anything (4-wheelers, camping, fishing, etc - Cool, I can dig that), his last gf was protestant and he talked with her parents about not having sex until marriage..............and he thinks I am just the most beautiful thing in the world - oh lord.

OK so he was VERY nice, I mean seems like a great guy BUT he was such a dork. And not in a cute dork way, like really kinda geeky/dweeby. Well after dinner (and a very large beer) he asked if I wanted to go to a movie. I started to say no, but I decided to go anyway. So we go see "Wanted", which if you like really far fetched Matrix type stuff is great. I liked it but some scenes were so out there I was laughing (thats terrible right). Well the movie was like 1.5 hr away from starting so we went get a drink while waiting. And he got a drink with me (Cool). He decided to try an Abita Amber...to which he said was too strong, he much prefers a bud light...OYE. I am so not a Bud Girl unless I am tubing and even then its BUD not Bud light. But to each his own. I also found out he really hasn't tried hard liquor until recently but only rum, JD & tequila but he didn't really like them...much prefers beer.

Anyways we are in the bar and I go to use the restroom and this random drunk guy stops me and says "I don't want you to feel left out, can I give you a hug." to which I replied "I have Mace" and his friends just about died laughing, and asked me to stick around. I ended up giving him a hug and told them I was on a date. They were like....Ohhhhhh, with him, really. Whatever silly drunks. But it kinda sucked bc the guy that hugged me was really cute! Anyway, right before the movie I went potty again and as I was walking to the door, it flung open at me and this woman said sorry. Then she said, "Hey, the Hot girl, don't worry honey my friend that liked you left." I was like darn, but I laughed.

Ok, so all throughout the movie he kept trying to hold my hand and I had my arms folded or in my lap...not bitchy standoffish but standoffish none-the-less. Well at one point he was like are you cold and offered an arm and I was like no I'm good (I know not nice but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea). After the movie he brought me back to my car and I hugged him and said thanks and jumped out of the MASSIVE 4x4 pick-up. He was like I'll call you, I said uh ok sure and hopped in my car.

So like I said very nice, but ZERO attraction. We talked a-lot and joked so I could see him as a friend but nothing more. But I mean seriously why are these guys always after me. Do I have an I date dorks sign on me? I guess I am just too nice, whatever.

2nd, 1st Date (Different Guy)

Sometimes I wonder what is going on in my own head...

We all know its usually a bad idea to go on a date with a "friend" but for some reason we still do it sometimes, hoping it doesn't ruin things. So I went on a date with this guy I've known since college. He is a really nice guy...almost too nice. I remember over the years he's gotten his heart broken a few times. He seems to dive head first into things and forgets to think about him. At least thats what I have seen over the years.

So I was kind of nervous about this "date" one because I've been out of the dating scene for so long AND because he was an acquaintance of a guy I dated in College (for 3 years). So needless to say it was a little uncomfortable at first.

I met him at his apartment, which I normally do not do when I first go on a date but since I knew him from before, I thought, why not. So I went there after work (5PM). I changed into Jeans and chatted with his roommate while he got ready.

We left to go eat at 6PM (way too early for me) so we went to hang out at a new brewery/restaurant. We sat at the bar and at first we didn't talk too much, but after a few sips of beer we were chatting like old friends. Not a lot of flirting though. We ended up eating there and having a couple more beers. Great food and the beer wasn't so bad either. Well we left there and went to this wine loft place...and ordered beers, nice right ;). Well we sat on one of the couches and would get a little close then one of us would move away. It was kinda funny. Anyways we were there for a while, chatting and stuff. Discussing how he thought me and my ex were still together because every time he's in town...we are together. Well after the first beer at the wine place he moved on to crown and coke...I stuck with beer.

Then we left there and went to this restaurant next door to eat a snack and drink some more. We sat at the bar at this restaurant also and after we ordered he suddenly and very smoothly put his arm around me. Which I was a little uncomfortable with at first but adjusted to as I got yet another beer. OK so we get a couple appetizers and drank and talked until closing time, which since it was a weeknight, was 10:30ish.

We headed back to his place for me to get my car (my keys were inside - I didn't really think about this before hand). So anyways like I said limited flirting between us so I didn't think anything of going back to his place to get my stuff. Well either I was completely oblivious to the signs or I made him extremely uncomfortable about flirting with me bc all of a sudden back at his place he kissed me.

Wow, can I just say, WOW. He is a great kisser. So instead of me going home (I was supposed to stay at a friends house) at a decent time...I made out with my old college friend for a few hours. It has been a very long time since I have had an extended make out session, I forgot how fun it is ;). Needless to say by the time we stopped it was oooooh 2AM and I had work in the morning. I was going to leave but he insisted I stay because of it being so late. So I argued a little but then I did stay...nothing happened...maybe little more kissing. So anyways, 7AM came very quickly and I had to shower. So I showered a this guys house and left to go to work.

I NEVER do that. I still cannot believe I slept at his house after 1 date...I mean nothing happened but still. Of course I did know him from before so its not that weird but still. Anyways, I had a great time with him and he was a GREAT kisser sooooooooooooooo I guess we'll see if there is a date number two with him.