Showing posts with label Louisiana. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Louisiana. Show all posts

Sunday, July 14, 2019

Dammit Barry, I had plans this weekend!!!!

Living in the South we learn to deal with hurricanes.  We prepare, we "hunker down" (GAH!), we drink, and we clean up.  

Barry (also known as a mother f**ker) took his sweet @$$ time making his way here...freaking everyone the hell out with all that "30 inches of rain" bull$hit, only to go poof basically.  

Don't get me wrong...some $hit went down and people lost some belongings and my heart goes out to them.  In my area it was 3 days BEFORE landfall.  I'm not even sure it was part of the "storm".  But for all the crazy being shown on National TV you woulda thought ALL of Louisiana was under water *rolling eyes*.  So for my sanity (and because we all drank a lot being in doors for almost 3 days)....here are my fav memes from the storm that never really was. 

 

 



 





 





 

 












In the end know we are funny as hell down here.  We take $hit seriously but if we don't laugh we all go a lil cray cray.  *cheers*

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

This is why I am reluctant to help people

I waited over a week to post this and still feel the same........

I've lived through 4 major floods, I can say this fully knowing what is happening in your head.  Don't be an @$$hole to people trying to help you!  I know tensions are high.  I know emotions are raw.  I know what it feels like to be homeless, even if temporary.  I know what it feels like to lose almost everything you possess.  And I know hearing things like "well at least you are alive" is not what you want to hear.  I know ALL OF THESE THINGS, which is why against my better judgement I agreed to help.

I am not talking about gutting houses or donating items.  I did and will do that too.  I am talking about being guilted into calling in a favor.  I don't call in favors for others.  I'll call in favors for myself (RARELY) but I am hesitant to do it for others because I have been burned in the past. 

I knew this would backfire.  I f**king knew it!  But I did it anyway because I am way to flipping nice.  I called in a favor.  I BYPASSED a waiting list.  I rushed things that are not normally rushed.  But no, that wasn't good enough.  "What do you mean 5 days?  I need it now."  Yea well so does the 100,000+ other people that flooded.  So I pushed more than I wanted to and somehow got it taken care of in 2.5 days.  When I shared this WONDERFUL news I heard crickets.  8 hours later I received a text....not a call...a text..."Oh we don't need it anymore".  What?!?!?! You couldn't have told me that sooner?!?!?!  Like before normal business hours end....

So now I have to call my people that made miracles happen and tell them "oh yea you know all that work you did for me...never mind".  This is why I don't f**king help people!  I've been in that situation.  I've been homeless and in need and I NEVER...NEVER...NEVER pulled some bull$hit like this.  Clearly you have no respect for me.  Clearly you do not value me.  Clearly you think you can $hit on me and its no big deal.  F**k off.  I'm still going to help rebuild because again I am a nice f**king human being but I will NEVER call in a favor again.  I don't care who you are, not.gonna.happen.

Look I was 100% scatterbrained for 3 months after Katrina and 6 months after Isaac.  I get it but I always made sure to be appreciative of those that were going above and beyond to help me.  I must be a different breed because even with being completely overwhelmed I made sure everyone knew how much I valued their assistance. 

Be considerate to others for f**ks sake!

Rant over. 

P.S. I was told..."oh they didn't mean anything they are just forgetful"BULL$HIT!  We texted and called repeatedly and no longer needing this was NOT mentioned.  

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Jaws V: The low hanging fruit

Everyone is all like "So cool!" or "I need this for summer!" or "We could use this in the lake!" and I'm over here like "Do you want your @$$ literally bitten off?  Because that's how you get your @$$ bitten off!"  If you want to buy one have fun...I'll watch from the shore or in a boat.

Has no one seen Jaws?!?!?!  Murky water...people dangling just above it looking like easy targets...a skiff thing.  Come on!  This is basically what happens in Jaws II!!! They go out on these flimsy sail boats and Jaws says "b**ch, I'ma eat that" and everyone dies. 


Okay not everyone but a lot of them!  And Chief Brody is no longer with us so who the hell is gonna save us and tell that mean ol' shark to open wide?!?!? Huh?  Huh?!?
Ignore the caption!
"All right, you big bastard! Come On! I've got something for ya' now! That's it! Attaboy, come on! Right over here! Open wide OPEN WIDE! SAY AAH!
*electricity noise* *sizzling shark* *oh $hit that b**ch is on fire* *BBQ Shark sinking* 
"Yay!  We are saved!" *sobbing*

Okay soooooooooooooooooooo maybe I've seen Jaws too many times (like there is such a thing!) but I'd rather err on the side of caution, than see this comin' up to bite my @$$!
And if you are like "but fresh water no sharks" see this postAND okay, fine no sharks...South Louisiana...meet this!
Yes I know that's a Croc BUT I couldn't find a moving gif of a Gator.  With that said I've SEEN a gator jump out the water up close and personal.  Action shot, ala me. 
And that was just a "little" one!!! So no thanks, I'm good.  I'll hammock in a tree.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Challange Accepted

So not long ago a business associate not from around here asked me to describe where I am from without saying where I am from.  That's not easy...well it's not hard either but where do you start.  So I've thought long and hard about it and this is what I came up with.  Some of it is quotes from other places so be assured I am not claiming to have come up with all these, I'm just using some to make a point. 

Hmmm, where do I come from.  Well where I come from we are a Tiger on Saturdays and a Saint on Sundays.  We mind our Ps & Qs and we always say please and thank you.  We say ma'am & sir whether you are 10 or 80. Sunday dinner takes place at 2PM and you better not start before you say grace.  We have Mimis and Pawpaws, Nannys and Parrans.  Y'all is in fact a word and all y'all does make sense.  We have our own language and it is beautiful.  We eat red beans on Mondays and fry just about anything.  You will never find another place that has food like ours.  Each dish is a culinary masterpiece made differently by each person's own bit of lagniappe.  We have a party for every occasion and a parade for every holiday.   We drink a lot and don't always sleep enough but most make sure to go to church on Sundays (before Sunday dinner).  Some of us bleed purple and gold, some black and gold, some both depending on the day and few bleed green and blue (I think).  We sit on the porch and drink sweet ICED tea.  We visit with the neighbors and always ask "how's ya mom and dem?".  We are a Sportman's Paradise and a football fan's...dream.  We are proud of where we are from and want to share it with the world.  Where I come from gets in your blood and never lets go.  You might have to leave but you always, always wanna come back home. 

Think this is a good description of where I am from?  Do you think anyone who didn't know would figure it out?  Well if not *plfeet*.  This video is played at the 2015 LSU home games and gives you a taste of what it is like to be from here.

Tiger Stadium's "Louisianne" Pregame The tribute to Louisiana that plays in Tiger Stadium prior to LSU Football games this season. We love this state and our Tigers!

Saturday, August 29, 2015

10 years ago, still seems like yesterday - PART 2

FOUR hours later we made it to Baton Rouge.  Normally that drive takes about 45 min - 1 hour from where I live.  We took back highways and little know routes, steering clear of Airline Hwy and I-10.  My mom and grandma took about 6 hours and my uncle and grandfather (who waited until the last freaking second to leave) took even longer.  If I remember correctly, they waited too long to initiate "contra flow", the highway systems were overwhelmed.  But they had to get people off the roads before the storm hit.  Honestly it was tad insane.  Cell phones were already messing up because everyone and their momma (literally) was on the phone trying to see where everyone was.  7 people, 6 dogs, 2 snakes, some feeder mice, 1 cat and 1 bird in a 1 bedroom house was a little crowded BUT it was safe...right?

It didn't seem like very much time had passed before the tell tale signs of a super storm started to make themselves known.  The animals were a wreck!  The dogs could not sit still.  My cat chewed a hole in the underside of my cousin's box spring to hide in it.  And to be truthful we were all on edge as well. The TV was on a 24/7 loop of local news recapping what we all already knew, Katrina could easily wipe NOLA and the Mississippi Gulf Coast off the map.  Eventually the power went out and we were left to sit there listening to WWL News Radio by candle/lantern light as the wind howled outside.  It was hot as Hades in the house...it was August people...so we chanced opening the front door (it had a latched screen door) and some windows.  We attempted to sleep at some point...an unspoken agreement to leave the radio on to hear any updates they might have.  I remember laying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, trying to comfort my trembling dogs.  Between the screaming wind and driving rain, it sounded like someone was snapping twigs outside, mixed with something that sounded like a giant taking a step (all I needed was to hear Fe Fi Fo Fum).  We knew what was happening...the winds were so strong tree limbs were breaking and the ancient oaks all around us were falling on their sides.  No one said it, but we were all thinking it.  We were 60+ miles inland from NOLA. . .if it's this bad here. . .there might be nothing left to go home to.  As Katrina moved further inland we all sat around the radio quiet and listening.  That is when they said something I will NEVER forget.  The newscaster said in a broken voice "The levees have failed, the City of New Orleans is under water".  The grandparents were very very quiet.  They lived in the City not a suburb like the rest of us.  The reports were still patchy but it was clear that it was unbelievably bad.  And while no one had said it on the radio we all knew they were dancing around the subject of loss of life. . . how many people stayed. . .how many people didn't make it. 

Up until now we hadn't heard much about any place else other than Louisiana.  The first report we heard about Mississippi just about broke me.  Yes my city was flooded but they basically said NOTHING was left of the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  Where houses and businesses once stood, now there were only the foundations and scattered debris giving you a glimpse of the lives that were lived there.  The casinos were pretty much gone.  "It looked like a bomb went off."   They couldn't tell us  how much was left anywhere. . .what we might go home to. . .or if there was a home still there.  They were calling us all refugees.  Life along the gulf coast was forever changed. . .again.