I don't know if these could be considered PTSD but they weren't fun.
Example 1:
When I was a teenager I was in a car wreck. A bad car wreck. A wreck where you looked at the vehicle and wondered how anyone much less all four passengers survived with minor injuries. I had zero memory of the actual wreck. I hit my head extremely hard, breaking the back window and cutting my scalp. I don't remember much until a few hours later in the ER. About a month or so after said wreck I went with my BFFs to see "I know what you did last summer". There is a scene at the beginning where they hit the guy. There was glass breaking, metal crunching and squealing tires. I freaked out. I had a panic attack in the movie theater and started crying. Those sounds triggered my memory of the night. After I remembered everything I was terrified of riding in the backseat, especially the drivers side. As the years passed the fear diminished and eventually mostly went away all together. I still get antsy when riding in the back but I can control it. But to this day when I hear and/or see a wreck whether in person or in a TV Show/Movie my breathing speeds up, my heart starts pounding and I have to talk myself down. Its not debilitating like it once was but it still exists 18 years later.
Example 2:
So its been 8 years since my stupid ex did stupid things. I'm over it, he's over it. We are amicable. We aren't friends so to say but there is no more bad blood. I recently realized I avoid certain movies/tv shows because of the stupid things that happened . Especially ones that are based around cheating and/or breaking up. I didn't realize I was doing it. I am happily married to an amazing man why would this still bother me? My only conclusion is because deep down that whole situation really f**ked up head and I am "secretly" terrified it will happen again.
I didn't even know I felt this way until Tuesday. Tuesday was NCIS day. I watch NCIS, I like NCIS. I adore Bishop and her cutesy relationship with her hubby. They seem to go together so well. She is so understanding of him. He is going through a hard time. She voices this to him, how she knows he is in a difficult place but she is there for him. He blurts out hes f**king his co-worker. Bishop walks out...she seems numb. Meanwhile I am literally a blubbering mess on my couch. All of that stupid hurt and pain came flooding back in. I could relate to Bishop. I was the understanding fiance and *blam* he blurts out he has "feelings" for another girl. He swore nothing happened...but the story changed over time. It sucked...I NEVER want to ever experience that again. Which I am assuming that is why that scene triggered such a crazy emotional response from me.
Most people will say life gives them Lemons at some point in their life, and the common response is "Make Lemonade". Well I want to say I am tired of making lemonade! Why can't life give me a better 'fruit'? I hope you can learn something or at least be amused by some of the off the wall things that happen in my life. I will also post random product reviews, movie reviews, book reviews, etc...I am a random person and like to keep all my lemons in one place.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
It's amazing what can trigger buried memories & emotions
Labels:
car accident,
Cheater,
Ex,
memories,
Movie,
PTSD,
randomness,
Relationship,
scared,
TV Show
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