Monday, January 18, 2016

And here we have a skelton shaking its hips...they don't lie

Shut up, I am funny.  And delirious.  I probably find it funnier because of the delirium.  This should be a wild ride...buckle up. 

I found this while cleaning...First I had NO idea peeling labels could be so gratifying.
I mean look at that pure unadulterated ecstasy.  Oh yea, peels so good!  I feel dirty just looking at this.  I clearly happened upon someone in the midst of enjoying their fetish.  Oh my bad...I'll just...soooooo what are you going to DO with that label...?  But for real...what was the photographers direction???  "I want you to peel that label like you are on the verge of experiencing the most satisfying orgasm of your life." 

I am concerned...I think my friend is saving body parts. *gulp*
What do I do!?!?!  Except that is clearly NOT human. Alien?  Fae?  Dragon?!?!  Do I call Mulder or the Winchesters or maybe Bo?  I was informed it is a "Buddha's Hand"...right...sure...*wink, wink*.  So really...are you a hunter???  What is it?!!?!?  Why is it in Vodka???  What else are you hiding...?  *eeeeep*

So these are NOT craft pieces...

These are edible ball bearings, also known as dragees.  They are basically sugar with a shiny coating.  It took me longer than I'd like to admit to realize that these were "food", considering I didn't know what the definition of dragees was.  Then all I could think of was "Have you ever had those little cakes, with the crunchy ball bearings on top... ever had those... those things? Nobody else in the entire galaxy has ever even bothered to make edible ball bearings! Genius!" (10th Doctor - Fear Her) These look like real metal, dammit (yes, I know that is the point).  I feel like I'd crack a tooth or something. 


*lalala* when suddenly a life size blowup Batman hiding in the aisle.  Jesu....I need an adult and new pants!!!!!  That is f**king terrifying!
I'm Batman
Why!?!?  Seriously though.  It is fairly true to size...well I mean like small adult size.  If I got down in the same position it was only slightly larger.  Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night and seeing that silhouette in the living room?!?! *ahhhhh* "I need new undies...and possibly a new heart".  Also...what is with the arm/fist placement.  It is very...uh..."suggestive".  He's like semi stroking it AND enjoying it!  Or a least doing the motion.  No really when the air catches it, the arm lazily pumps up and down while the head slowly nods...."Oh my god, does no one else see how wrong this is?!?!?"  Everything about this screams *not suitable for children* NC-17...X-Rated...(okay maybe I am being a tad dramatic) but there were so MANY parents placing children to take pics in the arms of this blow up "masturbating" monstrosity.  (I would have taken a video but there was a line of kids waiting)








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