$hit, I've time traveled again....

So nothing screams I *heart* the 90's more than a chunky heel and sparkly flower things.

So imagine my shock when in my email I have:

Where's my butterfly clips and body glitter!?!?!

What were we thinking?!?

So I clicked it and saw the below... "OMG military chic also screams 90's...".  Its not exact but its close....

I mean I still have my docs because f**k y'all, docs are comfy.

Also, I do not remember my cheapy boots costing 39.99....o_O

Obviously these aren't quite as "Holy $hit 90's" as the 3" platform military style things I used to wear but its definitely pulling at my memories here.

I mean I owned something like the below back in the day so yea....

I know they say styles come back around but that makes me feel old so *plfeet*...

**side note** totally saw another chick in the mall with high-top docs and fishnets with jean shorts and a baggy band shirt & flannel.  I had to do a double take.  I wore that!  That is grunge chic and that was me...OMG stahp!  

obvi not me but you get the gist!

How can you be in your 30's and not have watched any 90's cartoons?!?!?!?

Okay some newer cartoons are fun but the old ones man...those are the best...maybe because as an adult I catch things and go "oh my god!".  So many hidden things that my little child brain didn't quite grasp.

Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures were pretty famous for that.  Then you had the "older teen" cartoons like Beavis & Butthead and Ren & Stimpy.  But don't forget Courage the Cowardly Dog and Rocko's Modern Life.  Soooooo many to choose from.

So I am not actually gonna reference a "dirty" reference today but just one that makes me and my friends giggle.  Way back when, when we were younger there was a scene in one of the above mentioned TV Shows.  My group references it fairly often as a joke so it almost comes as second nature now.

We were at a thing and one of the little ones kept getting 'dirty' so their mom kept wiping their hands/face off.  To the point where we were like "dude just leave it, they are fine".  At one point mom did it like 4 times in a row.  Kid picked up chalk, mom wiped off hands.  Kid picked up chips, mom wiped off hands. Kid picked up other kids toy, mom wiped off hands.  Look I get it you don't want the little one sick but good lord!  Anyways, at one point she was doing this and I said *sounding like Woody Allen* "Turn the page, wash your hands.  Turn the page, wash your hands."

Only one person got it and it was my relative because we watched the show together.  We were giggling like idiots and everyone else was like "WTF...?".  So I said:
 

"Its Filbert".
*blank stares*.   
"You know the turtle dude from Rocko's Modern Life..." 
*confused stares*.
"OMG y'all come on! Rocko...the Wallaby...came on Nickelodeon..."   
*You are weird stares*

Seriously?! Showed the below:

The kids mom "Oh, that show was dumb, I never watched it".

You're dumb...this show was comedic gold. 

This is how it happens. This is how Skynet takes over!

I need a degree in Computer Engineering to use a treadmill....and no I am not an anti-tech person.  But I haven't had a Gym membership in over a year.  I just signed up again and I don't understand how to use the new equipment.  Its WAY more techy than the $hit I am used to. 

It can't be that hard...right?!?  Wrong!  I feel like a super goob trying to use the f**king treadmill!  Its a TREADMILL for doGs sake!!!  So we have a touchscreen thingy to control it but we also have buttons by the handles.  There is a TV on it above the touch screen that you can control...with a remote...or maybe with the touch screen.  There are 5 wires sticking out of it that kind of remind me of the charging wires for my phone so I am thinking you can connect it.  But it also says Bluetooth.  Whatever shall I do!?!?!? In order to get a "lesson" from a trainer I have to schedule an appointment BEFORE 5PM...I get off at 4:30...FML!!!

I just want to run on a f**king treadmill and track my calories/miles/speed.  While listening to music via Pandora via the "FREE" WiFi.  Is that too much to f**king ask for?!?!?  And by Free WiFi I mean WiFi that works.  Not WiFi that kind of works, then cuts out, then cuts back...then disappears, then comes back again.  There were literally 5 people in the ENTIRE GYM including me and the employees.  Why was it being such an @$$hole?!?!?

Side note - my resting temp on average is 97.2 degrees.  When I am in A/C (like in a gym) my hands feel like bony icicles of death, even when I am working out!  It is like all the blood drains from my extremities or something.  This means that touch screens are NOT my friends!!! STG I have to put my hands in my armpits to warm them up enough for the f**king touch screen to realize I am in fact alive.  Which looks like I am doing some weird running impression of Mary Katherine Gallagher ...and no I do not smell them after. 

Moving on.  It took me 15 minutes to figure out how to program a workout.  I didn't connect my phone because I wasn't sure.  I pressed start...it went immediately to 7mph.  I am 5'1"...my little legs don't really go that fast!

Then it told me I had done 1 minute (only a minute?!?!? that felt like a f**king eternity!) and had 2,497 minutes left in my workout...

That would be running for 41.6 HOURS.  Do I look like Forest Gump!?!?!  I think I did something wrong...whatever I did 45 minutes and pressed the cool down BUTTON.  I tried to find a "how to use a lifefitness treadmill" tutorial online but I got nothing.  So I will go back to the gym tonight and attempt to figure this f**ker out again. 

Maybe I should stick to the classes...

 

25 years ago?!?!?!

Stop making me feel old nerdist.com!  So scrolling through blog posts from yesterday I came across one about Star Trek: The Next Generation and the cover photo was of Locutus.

ahhhhhhhhh!

An image that that was burned into my young mind FOREVER!  I love Captain Picard and it was just awful to see THAT.  Then I read the first line of the article "Twenty five years ago this week, Star Trek: The Next Generation unleashed the first cliffhanger in Star Trek history by leaving Patrick Stewart’s Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the hands of the Borg." What?!?!?  There is no way that was 25 years ago!  I can vividly remember sitting in my living room GLUED to the screen watching the Season Finale and screaming in horror as Riker said “Mr. Worf, fire...”.

My mom and I were both sitting there stunned as it ended...what...What...WHAT!?!? I was 9 (yes, I said 9)...I think it scarred me.  Obviously as a wee little one I am sure I moved on and enjoyed my summer but when the fall came around I sure was glued to my screen again hoping my fav Captain was saved somehow!  You know before DVR...so I actually had to be there when it aired OR record it on a shady VHS tape and hope the VCR didn't mess up somehow.  Geez, I am ancient!  Who else remembers the excitement of coming home to a TAPED show only to rewind the tape and see nothing but STATIC!  F**k you VCR, you have made me miss Seaquest for the last time!!!

Back to the article, I had no idea how "groundbreaking" that cliffhanger was.  I didn't realize TNG wasn't really accepted as Star Trek until after that episode aired.  Probably because I was 9...and because you know I couldn't just pop on the internet and jump in on a Fandom thread to get all the theories.  I never had an issue with TNG because I grew up with it.  My dad grew up with TOS and showed it to me, making me just as much of a fan at a fairly young age.  So when TNG came out I LOVED it...yay new Star Trek!!!

I still can't believe it was THAT long ago but I don't care.  I love getting home from work and turning on BBC America to watch 4 hours of TNG reruns.  I still love it and if I do have kids...I am TOTALLY introducing them all my old Sci-Fi favs *muahahahaha*.