What's wrong with you?!?!!? Bzzzzzzz!

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No but really....really...WTF People?!?!?!

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This cannot be real!  Why would you want to lounge on a f**king cucaracha?!?!?! Staaaaahp!  No just no just nononononononononono!  F**k that...f**k the person who made this...just f**k it all! 

I would see that f**king thing laying on the beach and think we were being invaded. Call Men in Black, we've got a bug!  

I'd probably run away screaming and crying while my husband laughed...

...just kidding.  He'd probably sacrifice me to the giant *shudder* bug and run for his life. 

He's awesome like that...

In case you want one go here.  But I don't think you should buy one.  Because 1) EWWWWWWW and 2) You'd be indirectly responsible for my future insanity.  So DON'T DO IT!

I don't think that means what you think that means.........

I hate shopping.  With a passion.  I mean I will do a girls trip or whatever but If you give me the option of "go to the mall" or "sit on my couch and order from Amazon", I am picking option two. The problem is option two means making sure things are ordered far enough in advance to get to me BEFORE Christmas. 

Also, browsing the mall rarely gets me ideas.  But browsing online, I seem to suddenly remember my possibly future sis in law LOVES Harry Potter therefore I should buy her something from the Harry Potter Universe.  So I found this super cool replica of Newt's scarf from Fantastic Beasts.  OMG she saw it four times in the theater...I think she'll love this!  Score it says "guaranteed before Christmas".

So I go through the whole process and am about to hit "submit order" when I notice some very small print.  "Should ship between December 29th and February 20th" Wait...what?!?  

But...but it said Guaranteed before Christmas... I mean are we talking about his possible real birthday because last I checked Christmas was not sometime between 12/29 & 2/20.....Did they mean 12:29AM and 2:20AM...like it'll ship tomorrow morning...?  I am so confused!!!!!!!!!

Well f**k you then....guess I'll find another PERFECT gift for her!

You sit on a throne of lies!

So this amazing thing...technology.  You can go online, see whats in stock at your local store, order it, and it should be ready in a timely manner.  OMG so cool...I hate shopping. 

So I did this.  I went online found things in stock and paid for them.  3.25 hours later I still don't have a "hey your order is ready text/email".  Hmmmmm.  So I called.  Most places that offer this service do it within an hour. 

The Customer Service lady says "Hmmm, they usually do it within an hour.  We don't get that many yet, its a newer service and I am pretty sure you are the only one.  Yea, Ima be honest with you, they probably forgot to check the cue.  I'll get them on the phone." Kk.

Other lady:  Mmmmm hmmmm did you get an email saying it was ready?
Me: No.... (whats with the attitude???)
Other lady: Well then it isn't ready.
Me: Okaaaaay...I got that.  I was wondering how long it normally takes.
Other lady: You see once we get it we have to put it in to process it, then we have to go on the floor and find it.  Then we tell you its ready.
Me: Right, I understand the process but how long does that take?
Other lady: Once we get it we have to put it in to process it, then we have to go on the floor and find it.  Then we tell you its ready.
Me: *getting irritated* Yes, yes but I ordered it 3.5 hours ago now and....
Other lady: *hand to God she said*  Once we get it we have to put it in to process it, then we have to go on the floor and find it.  Did you get an email? No. So it isn't ready.
Me: But the first lady said I am the only online order and it usually only takes an hour to....
Other lady: You will get an email *click*

WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K?!?!?  Clearly someone didn't do their job...or didn't want to do their job.  So yea I don't like being a B**ch BUT $hitty customer service is my PET PEEVE.  Therefore I am filing a complaint with corporate.  I shop at this store all the time...makes me want to reconsider.