Is this a fever dream...without the fever...?

I don't know how we got here but here we are and it was weird. 

The first bit I remember was we were on vacation, like a group vacation.  There was a cabin/vacation house and a huge back area for camping, but it was fenced in sort of.  

I know I had a bunch of friends there but I don't recall any of them.  There were also some other groups with us which is weird but it was like a GIANT vacation home thingy.  

One night I was sitting outside around the dimming campfire REALLY late because I couldn't sleep and one of the other group persons wandered over.  Mind you there were literally people all over inside and tents in the "yard" then trees in the distance with small "sheds" scattered about.  I couldn't really see him because it was dark but I could tell it was a guy.  He sat down on the bench next to me, not close just near.  

We were sitting in silence when he said "I've been trying to figure out how to talk to you for the last couple days."  I recognized his voice but I was confused, I didn't speak just kind of looked over. 

He spoke up again and asked how I was doing as he leaned forward.  I saw his eyes.  I knew his eyes (and his voice) but his face was different.  But I knew in my dream it was a guy I dated in college.  Like one of those star crossed situations.  We cared deeply for each other but just met at the wrong time, it just didn't work.  Honestly had we met maybe a year or so later, my life probably would have been very different.  

Moving on, I was shocked.  We haven't talked in years.  So we started chatting.  I don't remember any thing we spoke about but as time passed we had gotten closer. Finally we realized it had been hours and figured our spouses would be worried so we parted ways.  

Over the next couple nights we had an unspoken "date" around the campfire.  It was like no time had passed and we were just two old friends having fun.  Mind you we weren't always alone, others wandered over and we all cut up so nothing nefarious was happening.  But one night after everyone else had left and the fire had dimmed he leaned over and kissed me.  It was so...I couldn't do it justice...I guess indescribable.  It lasted longer than it should have and ended up with us more horizontal, but after I got my wits about me I pushed away.  He apologized but then took it back and said he didn't regret anything.  We talked, I don't remember about what but we talked for a while.  And that night I decided to sleep outside, ALONE, with my thoughts.  Like literally outside. I'm talking a sleeping bag under the stars....

The next night all was well and we were innocently chatting and laughing with other people when my "husband" walked out. But he was 100% NOT my husband.  He was my psycho ex.  The one in some of my early posts that destroyed me and then wouldn't let me be bc we owned a house together.  Anyway, he started freaking out.  Then he ordered me to go inside while they talked and I LISTENED.  What?!?!?!  So my college friend was calm and collected but the "husband" was losing it. After I paced around inside he came in and just laid into me about trust and Lord knows what else.  He kept saying "you know I was always concerned _____ would come back and take you away and now he's here."  Which 100% confused me because we did have that exact fight in real life EXCEPT it wasn't the guy I dated in college...it was my more serious/semi toxic ex from college who moved away.  And I would have never done that.  Like I've been accused of some crazy $hit but I was never the one being dishonest. 

Anyways, he started threatening to kick me out of my house, take my dogs, leave me in where ever the eff we were, pick something...it was a venomous chain of hate and anger being spewed.  I did (thank God) fight back.  And I recall saying I'm not leaving, you leave. It's my house too so skedaddle.  He said something like you can't afford to live alone which just pissed me off further.  I will eat noodles and butter if I have to, to prove you wrong. 

This clearly lasted a while and I ended up "sleeping" outside again with my thoughts.  But I was in a different place.  No more groups camping.  It was more of a neighborhood and my dogs were there but not the ones I have now.  I mean they had the same names & personalities but little bit was a small Husky which she is very much not.  As I was staring at the sky I realized the dogs could escape. 

When I sat up I was in my great grandparents old neighborhood in the parish.  We were staying at College guys house(?) but it was all interconnected.  Like the yards overlapped and it wasn't just my dogs.  So I was running around in the dark trying to secure the yard(s).  I was tying a gate shut when my college friend appeared out of nowhere and just gave me a hug.  Like a really good, its okay to be upset hug.  Nothing sexual or creepy just a needed show of care.  

That was it.  I woke up to a cat in my face and really confused.  I'm blaming it on the vaccine hahaha.  I've been having even more strange dreams since I got dose 1 a few days ago.  

Why ask for my advice if you aren't going to listen???

I don't even know why I answered the phone. . .well technically I didn't answer on purpose but that's besides the point. You know who called today. . .ya know my ex roommate person. Well I said hello and it was downhill from there.

He complained about his job, like he always does when I actually answer, and this time I just wasn't in the mood to be calm. I kinda lost it. He always talks about this Executive that he has issues with at his new job out of state. According to him this person does not know what they are talking about and they are out to get him. As I calmly listened at first then he said "you know you used to be better at this whole advice thing." That was the mythical straw that broke the camels back. I said everything I'd been holding back.

I basically told him that this Executive is his boss and he has to play nice and I know from previous experience he doesn't know how to do that. He said he's never been rude to their face, to which I replied "One of their 'minions' , as you so kindly call them, told them you are impossible to work with. . .I am certain that affected her opinion of you at least a little." He said they just don't like being challenged and think they are always right. I was like so kind of like you...?

Long story short he is ready to leave this job he's only been at for 6 months all because he hates this executive and because the person that hired him left and went to a new company. . .he says "I moved there because of this guy not because I liked this company". Wow, really. . .WTF?! But the kicker is he doesn't want to jump to a new job because of the house. OK, I'm sorry what? How does owning 1/2 a house in another state affect you getting another job???

This is what he envisions. Walking into this Executive's office and saying paying me X amount of money or I am out. . .AFTER they already made it clear he's overpaid. I suggested NOT doing that but I am stupid and don't 'understand'. So he figures he'll be asked to leave, he doesn't plan on having another job in the wings so he plans on moving back here. He wil not have a job and he will fix the house in 4-6 weeks. . .the same house he had over 2 years to fix. Anyone see where my annoyance is coming from???

I of course argued BAD idea not just because I don't want him here but also because that is just DUMB. But he sees no issue with it. . .like its the most normal thing a person could say. His reason is, it will get done because he wants to get the house sold; get me taken care of; so he can buy a house where he is now....because (here is the kicker) he misses his dog!!! OK so you want to throw away your job, in this economy, because you want to fix a house you didn't bother fixing before because you want to buy a new house...WITHOUT a job so you can bring your dog with you. Makes sense right...?

Well I don't need a taking care of...I am just fine. The house I will HAPPILY fix but I still do not have the $$$ form the insurance company although he tells me "I'll make sure you get some of your money back..." What the hell does that mean?!?!!? To me that means, " I spent the money and don't want to send you a check for $$$$."

Ok thats my rant for the day. . .I am so annoyed!

Tonight we gonna pawty like it's 1999!

Is this really happening? No Way!

OK so why am I so giddy you may ask. Well because a few entries back I was annoyed with my living situation. Well good news people, come September 14th I WILL BE RID OF HIM! That's right my 'roommate' is moving...and not just to another house/apt/city....he's moving OUT OF STATE! *Doing the happy dance*.

What sparked this??? You See in July Younger Guy came pick me up from the house and all hell broke loose. My roomie FREAKED out and thought I was so inconsiderate for having someone pick me up. He didn't even come in or knocked...just pulled up, called me and I went out. About a week later roomie comes home and says "that company in TX wants me to come for an interview." I was like, cool. So he interviews, takes the job and says ok they want me to start in September. Okee Dokee!

Well being the douche that he is, that meant I needed to drop EVERYTHING I had planned for the next month and a half and help him make the repairs on the house that should have been done over a year ago!!!!!! As you may imagine that did not sit well with me and I flipped out a bit and he retracted his request. I mean come on....August is my boyfriends, 3 of my best friends and my brother's b-days AND my High School reunion...sorry buddy I'm kinda booked...but I'll help when I can.

Well then he says (at the beginning of August) "Don't pay me for your half of the bills this month...use that for Landscaping". Um really...during the HEIGHT of hurricane season, you want me to spend mucho moola and landscape....so I bought the supplies but I am not landscaping until I know a storm isn't going to form and destroy my work (and money :P).

Well now that it's getting closer he is getting more and more remorseful. He seems excited about this new opportunity but he keeps making random statements. Things like, "It's going to be weird...I mean I have lived with you for the past 6 years". Which yes, I agree it will be a little strange BUT I lived with my 2 best friends for 4.5 years and then moved out by myself when we graduated and although it was strange I was A-OK. Granted this is a little differnt but we have been broken up and living seperate lives for 1.5 years now so I think the transition...at least for me will be smooth. He's said other things but none as memorable as that one :P. So THANK GOD I will be out of town the weekend he moves out because I don't want to be a part of that Drama/pent up emotion when reality hits him and he realizes he had a knee jerk reaction to my boyfriend being "real" and is now on his way to TX where he has no friends or family. Just the 'friend' he made at a training session who will now be his boss. I ain't worried about him, seems like a legit company and he's getting paid more (which evidently is all that matters to him) so he wont be back. I just hope I get the $$$ so I can finish the house and move on with my life!

No one likes being lied to...

...even if the truth stings, right?!?

I swear I wonder what people are thinking sometimes...especially the one I currently live with. We are completely broken up, its just us living there as roommates until we sell the house or I get a better offer and move out. Which it can be weird at times BUT for the most part we are fine.

So where is my rant coming from. I don't like being blatantly lied to and yelled at, it annoys me no matter who is doing it. You see my 'roommate' recently added unlimited texting on his phone. Now, I have been BEGGING for 2 years for him to do this because I couldn't text him without getting fussed because he had to pay .10 (now more) every time. Anyways, the texting started, then more and more phone calls and the "I'm going have drinks with Co-workers" line. I've ignored it whatever.

Now I am dating people don't get me wrong. It's just not as obvious because I've always gotten lots of texts, calls and gone out. So it's really not a change for me. Like I said I've been ignoring the lies. But last Thursday he called me on his way home from his parents and said he was stopping to pick up food. Well lately that means what do you want. So I asked where he was stopping. He stumbled over his words and said he was stopping soon and would be done eating before he got home and he didn't want my food to get cold. Um ok, I get it, you are meeting someone, thats OK (but I never said any of that, just OK). Then like I said he adds unlimited texting. Last night OMG. He was in a texting war with someone, obviously a girl. How do I know this because I am a texting queen as are most of my girl friends, plus you can just tell.

Well he said something not nice about my family and you just don't do that. So I hit him where it hurts. I started telling him he was obviously becoming a-sexual and should not attempt to reproduce. That we did not need to pass his genes along etc. I know I know not very mature but I don't care anymore, haha. Anyways I messed with him a little about the excessive texting and he kinda got offended. And insisted it was a co-worker. I was like ok, I am just messing with ya.

Well flash forward to today. I have a HOT date tonight...with my best friends cousin. So I am a little nervous. Anyways, I told him I was going out tonight. I never said with anyone or where. Well he gets online earlier and says, "what time are you going out?" So I said when I was leaving and he replied, "I can go out too. I am meeting my co-workers for drinks." I was like ok. Well like I said I am tired of the charade. I know his co-workers, they do NOT get along, unless its some new interns which good for him. So I replied "So, what's her name ;) haha, just messin'." Well this threw him into a frenzy. He said he doesn't want to be in a relationship, so he doesn't know why I would say that, blah blah blah....I was like dude chill it was a joke...

So of course to keep the peace I apologized and said, I didn't realize it was such a sore subject, I won't joke about it anymore. But that RIGHT there tells me he is going to meet a girl. People only freak when you catch them in a lie. Haha. Anyways, I said to have fun and he got insulted again. Dude I cannot win, he broke up with me, why is he flipping out??? I mean of course I am not comfortable with knowing he is dating but I am not crazy, we are not together, its expected. So anyways, hopefully my date goes well tonight ;) .