Thursday, May 1, 2014

I hate cats!

Okay, not really.  I love MY cat but the strays outside make me batty. 

I was exhausted yesterday.  We had a family emergency the night before and I barely slept so last night I crashed!  I was out cold before 10:30 which is super early for me.  As I was having lolly pop dreams and whatnot something happened.  I was jolted out of a dead sleep by convict barking incessantly.  So what do I do?  Well I flop my arm over the side of the bed and say "shhhhhhh, its ok...*blah blah blah*".  Well he wouldn't give up.  He kept barking, whining, growling.  OMG!?!?  Then I faintly hear hubs say "did you hear that?" Uhhhhh let me remove my handy dandy ear plugs.  Suddenly the world is full of noise...which included the sounds of something dying, huh...am I still sleeping?

No...no wait...is that a cat...?  My cat was sleeping on my butt.  Ummm outside...yes, that sounds right...must be outside.  Give me a break, I was still 1/2 asleep.  We waited it out thinking oh it will stop on its own.  WRONG!  One *meoooooooow* *hissssssss* *growl* *angry screaming cat noise* turned into at least two, maybe three.  Then it got louder, more aggressive.  "What the hell are they doing out there!?!??!" *bang, skitter, bang*  more crazy cat noises...Uhhhh did something just hit a window?!?!  That's it, where is the pellet gun? All the while crazy dog, is going crazy. 

Well I was in my knickers...so going out front didn't seem like a smart idea.  In our brain dead state we resorted to banging on the window.  *Frankenstein voice* "stooooooop.  shhhhhhh. gooooo awaaaaaaay." *bang bang bang*.  Didn't work.  I know, lets get a flash light *click, click* "ahhhhhhh its bright, its bright!!!" Damn you reflective solar screen.  Maybe if I go in the back yard and bang on the fence they'll go away. *la la la* "ahhhhh I stepped on a slug, I stepped on a slug" *hopping around on one foot, trying to get the gooey carcass from between my toes*.  Mind you at this point I still hadn't put my pajama bottoms on (or shoes, clearly) but my t-shirt was long-ish so whatever.  Apparently all of that finally spooked them and they ran off.  

I had no idea until this morning that someone actually got a video of the cat fight.


Cool beans, right?!?  I think I need more caffeine...NOLAGurl out.

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