I may or may not have just really pissed off a family member

And ya know...I wasn't trying to be an ass its just the opportunity presented itself and I...I couldn't contain myself.

See here is where my sarcasm can go one of two ways.  Either someone will laugh hysterically or I get a phone call from the patriarch telling me I made so and so cry or sad or whatever.  But in my defense sarcasm is a way I deal with things that make me uncomfortable which can make others uncomfortable.  My bad, yo.

FM: Do you remember ________ from grammar school?
Me: Of course...why?
FM:  Their mom died last week (insert rest of facts about her life and funeral service)
Me: Oh that's sad.

**Side Note: I am not sure what else I could have said here.  I haven't seen this person since I was in 3rd grade-ish.  I remember them but I no longer know them or their family.**

FM: Their father is dead too.  And she was an only child and her parents are dead.

**apparently the proper response was "oh how tragic"...or something like that...but this is me so I didn't say that**

Me: Well aren't you a ball of sunshine today...  "Hello dear, your friend from grammar school lost their mom.  Oh and most of their family is deceased. Have a great day!".   All joking aside, that is sad but I am sure they'll be okay. (see I am being positive)

FM: (paraphrasing because the rant is way too long) *spitting nails* *laced with venom* *pissed off sounding* I'm sorry but those are the facts.  Things like that never used to bother you.  What you said made you sound like that "other side" of the family.  *sniff* No hard feelings just had to let you know what you sounded like.  Life will go on. 

Me:*thinking* "wait was that supposed to be an insult?"

FM: *insert random conversation laced with bitter undertones* 

Me: *moving on...cautiously*

I know...I know being sarcastic probably was not "nice" but I mean come on.  That was like the ultimate Debbie Downer conversation.  "Hi dear, everyone is dead!"  I don't really know these people...I don't need to know the details of the tragic story...I said that's sad, that should have been the end of it.  If it was someone closer to me that would have been totally different.

But this side of my family has a weird fascination with death while the other side is more about life.  Seriously, every time I talk to most of them (not all) I hear all about who died recently or who is sick or how they may die soon or just negative, negative, negative stuff.  Most times it is about people I barely know.  Of course if a Great Aunt or cousin is ill I want to know but your 3rd cousin twice removed's maid's granddaughter is not really a concern of mine.  Or that neighbor I've never met but you always talk badly about's brother is in the hospital and wants to die...um I'm sorry...? I swear the last time I talked to the family member from above they said "this is going to put me in an early grave. Maybe then they would realize what it's doing to me".  How do you respond to that?!?!?!  And it was about something totally insignificant, something that can be rectified easily but rather than fix it, I hear that.   Look, I prefer to be positive and surround myself with that so when unnecessary negativity is thrown at me I tend to get all silly and the above example happens.  I am not in denial I know we all have an expiration date but I'd rather think about the good stuff now and in the past and what is yet to come. Not have doom looming over me at every turn. 

Oh and saying I sounded like the "other side" of the family does not make me angry.  I am proud to say I am sarcastic lil shit thanks to that "other side" of the family.  That's where much of my laid back attitude, independence, positive outlook on life and silly sarcasm come from.