Monday, May 5, 2008

Just Some Thoughts

A Girl's Expectations (in no particular order):

  • Communication
  • Love
  • Affection
  • Openness
  • Thoughtfulness
  • Sincerity
  • Together Time
  • Apart Time
  • Friendship
  • Honesty
  • Trust
  • Compromise
  • Commitment
  • Unselfishness
  • Considerate

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I've heard of people falling out of love and I think it's a bunch of bull. People change and sometimes grow apart but you don't love someone one day and then not love them the next. If you do you are mentally ill and should not be in a relationship in the first place. The feeling of falling out of love is not exactly that, you don't fall out of love, you just forget how to do it with your significant other. Things that used to be the norm become forgotten or taken for granted. You forget that something as simple as a phone call, a touch or a just thinking of you note can make someones day. You forget that you are not the only one in the relationship and although your needs are important another person is also involved and needs to be considered. You forget that there was a reason you said those cherished words in the first place. The feeling of happiness outside of the relationship is skewed also. You keep thinking if only I were single I could do whatever I want or there is someone who will be better at _______. It's called the grass is always greener mind-set. No matter who you end up with they have quirks and habits that may drive you insane at times and time apart may feel like a gift from God but it doesn't mean that they shouldn't be together. It usually means you need time away from each other. Alone time or friend time is normal, spending every waking minute together is stressful. It works the same way after a couple splits your brain flips the grass is always greener thought to the "Remember the good times" thought. It's all perception. It may seem like a bunch of BULL but I've been through a few serious relationships and I've learned this. Once you love someone you'll always love them, the break up factor just depends on how much effort is put into the relationship that makes it last and if that effort isn't made we move along, but love is always there.



Relationships take work. They don't just run themselves and they are a commitment. No matter who you are with, the list above has to be considered. If you aren't willing to do most, if not all of those at some time then why bother be in a relationship with anyone. This is what women want. They will blow smoke up your butt about not being like other girls and its true because I am not like other girls, but in the end they want the list above on some level.



I've noticed in the last 1 1/2 - 2 years he has changed (I changed too but not in the same way). I don't know if my mom living with us freaked him out or something. Or if starting a new job elevated his ego (not trying to be insulting) or maybe the stress of "being responsible" for someone else flipped a switch. But I do know that right after he asked me to marry him (Aug 3, 2006), he stopped being him and started being this 'new' person. But it's not all the time just sometimes, which is even more confusing. Even if we don't stay together because he has become that hateful/disgusted towards me we need to talk about this... I just don't know how to do it.


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I know I am a cheese when it comes to song lyrics BUT this one was on the radio today and well guess what? I thought of him :P and prompted the letter above.

Rodney Atkins, Honesty

Lyrics

He said,"Just think it over,and write me a list"
"So we can figure out what we both deserve"
She hardly could believe it,that their love had come to this
Dividing an deciding his and hers
But she grabbed a paper napkin an asked the waitress for a pen
An one by one she wrote down what she wanted most from him


Honesty,sincerity,tenderness and trust
A little less time for the rest of the world
And more for the two of us
Kisses each mornin' I love you's at night
Just like it used to be
The way life was when you were in love with me


She reached across the table an placed it in his hand
An said,"You know this ain't easy for me"
As he thought about the new car the house an the land
An wondered what that bottom line would be
An a thousand other things that she's want him to leave behind
But he never dreamed he'd open up that napkin and find


Honesty,sincerity,tenderness and trust
A little less time for the rest of the world
And more for the two of us
Kisses each mornin' I love you's at night
Just like it used to be
The way life was when you were in love with me


Well,he fought back the tears as he looked in her eyes
And said," i don't know where to start"
and she said "Everything on that list in your hand"
Is written somewhere in your heart


Honestly, sincerity just like it used to be
The way life was when you were in love with me

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