Did I do drugs and forget that I did drugs resulting in active hallucinations...?

What the hell did I just watch?!?!! 

I was thinking "oh cute kids movie" but ended up questioning mating rituals of intellectually advanced animals and contemplating the "rules" of their society.

I mean seriously though, you see this and go "okay that looks fun".  I thought it was like a Hare who was scared of everything...hence the "chicken" 

Then you get into the 1st like 10 min and wait what...?

He has chicken legs and and random feathers and you go....how is this combination even possible?!?!?

Mind you it was effing ADORABLE and I really did enjoy it but my weird @$$ brain was trying to picture how a Chicken and a Hare could (in theory) um...mate successfully, producing offspring. 

Plus I feel like if in nature that were to happen it would not be nearly as cute...

Then a few days later my childhood was flipped upside down...

Wait wait wait...?

WHAAAAT?!?!

I am all for to each their own but I am again...how.....she's a mouse....he's a.... he's a fly.... the visual....

I'm sure there is a deeper meaning and I am all for it but my logical brain is stuck on how it would anatomically work. 

Send help, I am over thinking cartoon mating and offspring....

I can't believe...What year is it?!

So way back in the recesses of 2014, I posted about makeup BS at work.  I work for a new company now...I work FROM HOME...not to mention its 2022 and this came up...AGAIN!

On a "zoom" call TWO YEARS post global pandemic...where people have been working from home and zooming has become more normalized.  I had someone make a comment on my "makeupless" face.  

It was a 7AM call that I wasn't even supposed to be on.  I don't generally log in until 8AM so there was no reason for me to be "made up" at that time.  But since I was "summoned" I logged in to do whatever.  About 10 people didn't have cameras on so I didn't feel bad.  

Well because some 60 year old (not being an @$$hole, they really are 60) decided we all had to have cameras on, so I did.  Then he...YES HE...proceeded to call me out on a call with 25+ people about having no makeup on.  

I was so flabbergasted I didn't even know what to say at first.  One, I wasn't even supposed to be logged on! Two, Rude! Three, 100% something I do not need to wear.  So I said as professionally as possible, f**k off, and the meeting continued.  Then, he proceeds to make $hit comments the rest of the meeting.  

Rather than publically be a jerk, because I know that's what he wanted, I just ignored him and rolled my eyes.  Mind you it wasn't all on me.  He was making comments about others.  Look we weren't frumpy or homeless looking.  I had on a nice shirt, hair fixed, and lipgloss.  Just not a full face of makeup. 

So after some consideration, it was decided to make a formal complaint to HR. Basically stating when he has to wear makeup everyday, I'll consider it.  He was removed from the meetings I was on and no one told me I have to wear makeup.  I still think more should have happened but whatever. 

Rant over. But seriously mind your own business.  I have sensitive skin and I don't like makeup everyday.  Also, NOT IN THE HANDBOOK and NOT REQUIRED you sexist @$$hat. 

We shook the world (well part of it)

So we all know people are crazy when it comes to their fav bands/singers. But there something about certain artists in certain arenas where the stars align and its just complete INSANITY!

So Garth Brooks came to Baton Rouge and had a HUGE concert IN TIGER STADIUM.  

Okay look, there is NOTHING like Saturday night in Death Valley.  It is hands down one of the loudest, funnest places to watch College Football. I might be biased but I've heard this from people from other colleges also.  

But Saturday night in Death Valley watching one of the BEST performing artists is on a whole other level.  

So the WHOLE concert was loud and amazing and just incredible.  I mean me and 102,000+ of my closest friends just saaaaaaang our hearts out.  But you see Mr. Brooks has this one song that....well it holds a very special place in the hearts of most Louisianians.  

You see this song is played at every single LSU home game!  If you are not a Garth fan, I'm talking about this little known song *sarcasm* song called "Callin' Baton Rouge".  You have not appreciated this song until you hear that fiddle start blaring in Tiger Stadium before a home game with a mere 90,000 of your closest friends screaming because we are ready for some Tiger Football!!!!

Anyway, imagine 102,000+ crazy country & LSU fans in Tiger Stadium when he f**king played this song!!!

We collectivly went ape$hit! So much so that we registered a small Earthquake.  No really, some equipment in a nearby building on campus recorded an "earthquake".  

I can't say I am surprised AT ALL but I think it's freaking hilarious.  See below so you can enjoy the chaos (starts at 1:11)  And I'm going to go to bed and hope my ears stop ringing and my voice comes back. 

  

(https://youtu.be/EQn4bBYQins)

Keep your tacos to yourself!

I have so many questions.  

I literally decided NOT to do tacos for dinner because of this article!

What the actual F**K?!!?

This is why aliens don't visit us.

 How can I unsee this?!?!!

Don't read the article it's so much worse.

Actually read it so I am not alone... READ IT

I need to bleach my brain.

Was that a f **king slug?!?!

 So down here in the deep south we are in the pollening season. 

Which means everyone is sneezy, itchy, and gross.  Even if you don't have "allergies" the pollen wages war.  Normally its doesn't get me too bad but if I am going to be in nature for a long period of time I take an allergy pill as a precaution.  

The other day in the garden I was viciously attacked by nature.  I was fighting with some giant weed from hell when suddenly in came loose, threw me on my butt, and covered my in a layer of yellow.  I had plant spunk all over my face, hair, chest, and arms.  

I "dusted" myself off and finished my chore.  After showering I kept feeling a sniffle but nothing major. That night we went out to dinner as a treat.  While waiting for the hubs to finish ironing his shirt, I kept feeling like I needed to blow my nose but nothing really came out.  

So we are sitting at this nice-ish restaurant and I'm like, I need to blow my nose.  So I go to the ladies room.  There were other people in there so I didn't want to blow obnoxiously.  Some...funk came out (whoohoo) but my right sinus still felt weird.  I went back out to continue with dinner.  As we are enjoying our appetizer I again can feel something weird in my face so I go back to the ladies room.  

This time no one was in there so I went full force with the blow.  I felt an immense pressure release from my right sinus and come out my nose.  

But yay, success!

When I pulled the tissue away something slingshotted back into my nose.

I blew again and again when I pulled the tissue away it shot back in. 

I blew a third time and....ya know this is gonna get even more TMI, feel free to stop reading....

So third time, and I "grabbed" before I stopped blowing.  As I slowly pulled the tissue away I felt...

I felt something sliding down my nasal cavity.  

I am staring at myself in the mirror saying 

"Oh my god, oh my god"

"what the f**k is that"

"What is happening, what is happening"

"Oh god!"

Finally whatever it is slides all the way out into the tissue, and bounces.  

It is a opaque white/yellow, 2" long, fairly wide....wad of...SNOT!  It looked like glue or something!

So I am just staring in disgusted curiosity at what I just extracted from my nostril when I hear:

"hey, that kinda looks like the slime my grandkids play with"

I about jump 10' in the air.  There is a 4' tall little old lady next to me.  I have no idea where she came from or how long she's been there but she is also staring at my extraction.  

She patted me on the shoulder, "I bet you feel much better now, don't you suga" and then wandered off laughing into one of the stalls. 

I stood there horrified and embarrassed for two more seconds before I tossed the tissue, washed my hands, and returned to dinner.  

I have had some pretty gross things happen when I am sick but this was by far the strangest...and I'm not even SICK!

Lying in the middle of a dark street contemplating life

Happy Lent....is that a thing...?  I mean it's more of a somber time.  But whatever it's Lent.  Which if you are even remotely catholic it means you eat seafood on Ash Wednesday and every Friday until Easter.  

This past Friday we were super excited to get some boiled seafood.  We were ready for our first batch of Crawfish & Fixins!!!  Since it's just the two of us we ordered it instead of boiling it ourselves.  

Hubs was running late from work so I went to go pick it up.  We were about to get some bad weather so I was trying to beat the rain.  

As per usual I ordered from this little hole in the wall seafood place a few min from my house.  I was in a really good mood.  I had gotten a lot done for work, done some miles, eaten a fairly healthy lunch, cleaned some of the house, ya know just very productive.  

After getting my yummy dinner I headed back to my car.  Mind you it was a really dark street (two lights were out) and it was cloudy so no moon.  I was be-bopping along when it happened.  I stepped on what I thought was gravel.  It was not...it was a pothole about 4 inches deep.  What happened next was in extreme slow motion. 

I stepped and felt the gravel give away into a hole.  My right foot went down.  My forward momentum pushed me forward causing it to twist inward.  I tried to recover but I just couldn't quite get my other foot to come forward.  Instincts kicked in and my arms flew forward to catch myself.  This meant my hand holding my bag of food released said bag of food like a sling shot.  Which went flying about 8 feet into the street.  I flew forward hitting the asphalt on my two hands and left knee.  To release the twist on my ankle I flipped over onto my back.

This happened in literal seconds but it felt like an eternity of falling.  I just laid there in the dark wet street, staring at the clouds, contemplating life.  My brain rebooted and I realized lying in the middle of a dark street was probably extremely dangerous and decided to get up.  

I ungracefully rolled onto my stomach and tried to stand.  My ankle gave out and the ground was rushing back at me when I suddenly stopped.  I looked up through my disheveled hair and realized there was a car about 4-5 feet from me with the driver door open and said driver was currently keeping me from re-face planting into the ground.  

He got me mostly standing and seemed very concerned about me.  Aside from extreme embarrassment, bleeding palms and a gangster limp I was fine.  Don't ask me how but my food somehow survived the shot put throw.  But can I tell you how hard it is to drive a standard with a busted knee and ankle?!?!?

Also, can you imagine being that driver?  Just minding your business when some little blonde throws her food at you and just lays in the middle of the street.  He probably thought I had a medical emergency or something...

Mind you I had to stop at the store after this.  I tried to hide my bloody palms & limp, but the cashier noticed and was like WTF....?

I had to SCRUB my hands to get the debris out.  I wanted to cry but I also wanted it out of my skin!  In less that a week I had blood dripping down my face and then my palms.  I am a hot mess!

Bloody Hell!

But like for real.

So we are FINALLY Mardi Gras-ing again.

*woot woot*

Here's a short story.  We went to Thoth/Bacchus Sunday.

*partaaaaartay*

We had sooooooo much fun!

There was drinking (we had a DD) and eating and just being NOLA again.  It was great!

By the time Bacchus rolls by we've been drinking since like 8AM.  Its spaced out.  Meaning we are giddy but not sloppy. 

I am on my step ladder (because I am hella short) trying to catch a blinky ball for my neurotic dog who goes ape $hit for them.

Mind you we haven't done this in a hot second so I am a little out of practice with dodging things thrown at my face.  Plus drinking...AND ITS DARK!

So hubs is standing behind me making sure I dont get knocked off when it happens.  I am looking at the float, I have my hands up, but something squeaks past and *BAM*

Hits me right on the bridge of my nose.  It was caught on my thumb but part of it slapped me in the face.  I bent over in pain and said "F**king Ow!"

Hubs jokingly says "you're not supposed to catch it with your face" he's all hahaha until I move my hand and there is blood running down the side of my nose. 

I walk over to the only sober person and said "I need a medic!"  I look like I am crying blood. She is like aw hell.  She got me all cleaned up and and gave me another beer...thankfully it stopped bleeding but it f**king HURT!

DAYS later it still hurt.  I have a knot on my nose, a tiny cut, and a partial black eye (more yellow than black).   At least I had fun doing it ha ha ha