I mean it's clear like water

So we are in our reconnect with our High School Friends era.  Which honestly is f**king great.  I love it.  

Every year there is an event (chicks only) where everyone gets together from all years and throws down.   It's a great time. 

There's food, drinks, talking, pics, dancing...everything. 

I am a seasoned adult...as in I know how much I can/should drink.  But sometimes...you forget that just because it's clear doesn't mean you can drink multiple glasses of it!

We had a great time.  My glass was never empty...the problem was it wasn't water...it was vodka tonic. 

We talked for hours, dropped it like it was hot and took the most ridiculous pics and videos.  We even went OUT after.  What the actual hell were we thinking?!?!!?

Anyways I was fine...until I wasn't.  I was fully functional all night after multiple drinks...until the car ride home.

I wasn't like "I'm gonna vomit" bad but when I got out the car...the world went sideways. 

I'll show you in gifs. 

So I ended up with a busted knee.  Bleeding like a stuck pig. My drunk @$$ besties laughing their @$$e$ off as they try to stop the bleeding. My friends boyfriend coming out and being like "she good...ok going back to bed".  We were laughing so hard because it wouldn't stop bleeding!!!!!  Too much alcohol + scraped knee = murder scene. Hubs picked me up and asked me what happened.  I literally said "well I got out the car and then there was the ground"

Lawd help him, he loves me hahaha.  

That street jumped up and attacked me!

So we went on this AMAZING out of country vacation.  But like it was a foreign country so being careful and cautious is important.  As in getting sick or injured would probably not be great. 

So what does this chick do?  On night ONE, this chick COMPLETELY sober picked a fight with the street and the street won. 

Let me set the scene.  We are high on life (and jet lag).  We are so excited to be in this beautiful exotic tropical country.  We walked to dinner in daylight but on the way home...the sun had set.  There were no street lights because light pollution, etc.  So there we are walking DOWNHILL on a two lane PITCH BLACK road. 

We had our phones out but that's all we had on us.  As we are cutting up and laughing I stepped on a jagged piece of road.  My ankle twisted and I went down HARD. 

Somehow (do not ask me how) I caught myself with my hands (and my poor phone).  I felt my right knee hit but not hard and it wasn't bleeding 

My screen looked like it was cracked to shit at the bottom of the screen but the phone was working.

Then hubs grabbed my hand to keep walking and said "you're hand is wet". 

I look with my phone and see blood steadily dripping from the heel of my palm.  

I'm ok though.  

We get back to the condo and I SCRUB my hands with antibacterial soap and hot water.  I had f**king gravel in my palm.  

I tweezer the debris out, put some 'sporin on it, and bandaid the crap out of it. 

The next day I take a peek and it's actually not that bad. 

But I do look like I have a snake bite on my palm.  Literally there are two DEEP perfect circles.  I don't know what I fell on....  My other hand has a scrape but its not bad at all.  My knees are fine.  My phone looks like shit but it still works fine and it's just the screen protector scratched up.  

So Day ONE of a eight day vacation and I busted my hand.

Someone cover me in bubble wrap!

We have been just bombarded with rain the last few weeks.  And not just like an afternoon shower.  It's just a daily deluge of rain combined with psycho winds and crashing thunder & lightening.

Like lightening that lights up your whole house in a bright flash then thunder that crashes so loud you instinctively hit the floor because clearly something just f**king exploded.  

Well I was on my way home from an outing when mother nature just pressure pissed all over us.  We could barely see the road driving home.  When we pulled up it was still raining but not quite as hard.  I did a "one two three" and prepared to run for the door.  As I exited the car and started to run, I realized very quickly this was a bad idea. 

I felt my foot slipping in my shoe.  In slow motion I tried to catch my balance on the hood of the car but it was too late.  

My left leg gave way and I went down.  Out of pure instinct I threw my yeti to catch myself, but the angle of the fall was off so my hands didn't do much to help.  

I landed HARD on my left hip, left leg bent under me, and my left elbow hit the bumper of the car.  I sat stunned in the pouring rain trying to assess the damage for what felt like an hour but was only seconds.

Hubs tried to help but I said just get the stuff I dropped.   As I tried to get up lightening exploded behind my house blinding and scaring the absolute $hit out of me.  

Instinct kicked in again and I tried to run...I fell flat on my chest, but caught myself before my face hit.  Hubs also ran and then was like WTF, where is she?!?!  I literally hummed both shoes at my house and took off running barefoot as another blast of lightning lit up the sky.  

Once safely inside the pain shot through my left side.  I crawled into the living room and just sat on the floor holding my foot and leg rocking in pain.  Once I removed my hand blood started dripping from my foot.

I limped to the shower and hosed myself down.  EVERYTHING hurt/burned.  Then I practically bathed in peroxide. 

My toes wouldn't stop bleeding. 

Once I got a closer look...in my fall I removed MULTIPLE layers of skin from my last three toes and I am pretty sure broke the second to last one as there was a BURNING sensation not affiliated with the missing skin area.  

I dressed and wrapped each toe. Then carefully bandaged the horrific brush burn that takes up most of my left shin/calf.  

Let this be lesson kids....shoes matter....

Seriously I should be the flipping poster child for "don't run in flip flops".

Lying in the middle of a dark street contemplating life

Happy Lent....is that a thing...?  I mean it's more of a somber time.  But whatever it's Lent.  Which if you are even remotely catholic it means you eat seafood on Ash Wednesday and every Friday until Easter.  

This past Friday we were super excited to get some boiled seafood.  We were ready for our first batch of Crawfish & Fixins!!!  Since it's just the two of us we ordered it instead of boiling it ourselves.  

Hubs was running late from work so I went to go pick it up.  We were about to get some bad weather so I was trying to beat the rain.  

As per usual I ordered from this little hole in the wall seafood place a few min from my house.  I was in a really good mood.  I had gotten a lot done for work, done some miles, eaten a fairly healthy lunch, cleaned some of the house, ya know just very productive.  

After getting my yummy dinner I headed back to my car.  Mind you it was a really dark street (two lights were out) and it was cloudy so no moon.  I was be-bopping along when it happened.  I stepped on what I thought was gravel.  It was not...it was a pothole about 4 inches deep.  What happened next was in extreme slow motion. 

I stepped and felt the gravel give away into a hole.  My right foot went down.  My forward momentum pushed me forward causing it to twist inward.  I tried to recover but I just couldn't quite get my other foot to come forward.  Instincts kicked in and my arms flew forward to catch myself.  This meant my hand holding my bag of food released said bag of food like a sling shot.  Which went flying about 8 feet into the street.  I flew forward hitting the asphalt on my two hands and left knee.  To release the twist on my ankle I flipped over onto my back.

This happened in literal seconds but it felt like an eternity of falling.  I just laid there in the dark wet street, staring at the clouds, contemplating life.  My brain rebooted and I realized lying in the middle of a dark street was probably extremely dangerous and decided to get up.  

I ungracefully rolled onto my stomach and tried to stand.  My ankle gave out and the ground was rushing back at me when I suddenly stopped.  I looked up through my disheveled hair and realized there was a car about 4-5 feet from me with the driver door open and said driver was currently keeping me from re-face planting into the ground.  

He got me mostly standing and seemed very concerned about me.  Aside from extreme embarrassment, bleeding palms and a gangster limp I was fine.  Don't ask me how but my food somehow survived the shot put throw.  But can I tell you how hard it is to drive a standard with a busted knee and ankle?!?!?

Also, can you imagine being that driver?  Just minding your business when some little blonde throws her food at you and just lays in the middle of the street.  He probably thought I had a medical emergency or something...

Mind you I had to stop at the store after this.  I tried to hide my bloody palms & limp, but the cashier noticed and was like WTF....?

I had to SCRUB my hands to get the debris out.  I wanted to cry but I also wanted it out of my skin!  In less that a week I had blood dripping down my face and then my palms.  I am a hot mess!