I dressed up as The Doctor and now my soul belongs to Satan

Look I'm not really one to be like "your beliefs are stupid" but sometimes I see (or am told/TAGGED IN) $hit and just want to throat punch people.

LINK

Right...okay.  What?!?!!?!? Also, stop tagging me in this stuff!!!!!

If you don't want to celebrate Halloween, that's fine.  But stop with the stupid.  Halloween is not a satanic holiday.  If the church of Satan uses it as a holiday they "stole" it from earlier religions/traditions ...just like CHRISTIANS "stole" the winter solstice...also known as Christmas...from earlier Pagan religions. 

Again, if this is your belief I guess that's fine but stop telling me that because I celebrate my FAVORITE holiday I am not Christian and stop telling me my littles are being opened to demons because little Suzy dressed up as f**king Cinderella!

"We think because we are not performing any demonic rituals or human sacrifices that we are on safe ground, but did you know that as soon as you dress up, whether you color yourself or put on a costume, the enemy owns you? Because by doing so, you have turned over your legal rights, and you have dedicated yourself and your kids to celebrating the devil's holiday. "

What?!?! Are you saying I signed some divine LEGAL contract at some point and celebrating Halloween negates it?!?!? I don't think that's how this works....

Here's my take on it.  This person is a troll.  Like the ultimate troll.  How can I make already hyper paranoid Christians bat$hit...I know lets tell them if they put kids in Costume on one specific f**king day of the year, they're turning them into devil worshipers *pahahahahaha*.

Riiiiiight...*rolling eyes*.

"As devil worshippers, Halloween was very special to us, and we looked forward to celebrating it because we knew the implications and the dark power behind the night."

This is f**king dumb.  There is no special freaking demon power on Halloween.  It is an end of harvest festival that can be traced back to Celtic and Gaelic folk traditions. 

Here is where I think all the crazy BS comes in.  "it was seen as a liminal time, when the boundary between this world and the Otherworld thinned.  The souls of the dead were also said to revisit their homes seeking hospitality."

So a combination of OLD traditions.  Traditions that existed BEFORE CHRISTIANITY combined with new traditions created the holiday we now call Halloween.  

Tell me again how I am worshiping Satan if I am a f**king minion on Halloween and hand out candy to cute little kids who are having fun? 

But wait there's more! "The only harvest we celebrate is the harvest of souls.  For many who celebrate Halloween, that celebration carries over to Nov. 1, which is also known to some as the Day of the Dead, or All Saints' Day, but there is nothing holy about it—it is demonic."

Really...you are telling me ALL SAINTS' DAY...the day we (well some of us) visit the graves of our dead relatives and friends to leave flowers is...demonic...?  "We have a picture in our minds that it seems holy, but there is nothing innocent about it. " Uh huh.... 

No!!!!!  It is a day of f**king remembrance.  We REMEMBER those who have gone to heaven...recognized Saints and those not recognized.  We aren't performing some ritual to bring our friend back as a f**king zombie.   

Ya know what, its fine don't celebrate Halloween or All Saints' Day for that matter...more candy for me and less people when I leave flowers.  

This is how crazy happens!  Seriously, the devil is not hiding in a Holiday.  If you believe in Lucifer then you should also believe that he is always there tempting you.  He doesn't pop out on f**king Halloween and say "Ahhhahahahaha, you dressed your child as a sock monkey, his soul is now mine".  

Sorry, this stuff just makes me irrationally angry...

(insert thing you disagree with) is the DEVIL ~ Mama Boucher

Driving in to work, stopped in traffic, "Lalalaaaaaaaahhhhhhh what the f**k is that?!!?"

*raspy voice* "Come play with me"

Sweet baby Jes...Spongebob has been places, he's seen things.  He has been scorched by the hell-fire and lived to tell the tale.  He is now traveling the country on to warn us of what awaits should we continue on our heathenish path.  Or he is trying to tempt me to the dark side.  I haven't quite decided which one it is yet. Maybe if they have cookies (kidding). 

Speaking of hellish...things...WTF is this supposed to mean!?!?!?

Is this implying women are the devil in disguise, sent here to lead you astray?!?!?!  Listen here d**kwad, at least if you are going to make a "point" use proper sentences, *This speakS volumeS to me.  And if you ever want to get laid again, I suggest NOT comparing females to demons.  Yea yea, it says "adulterous" female in the text but wouldn't the SAME apply to an adulterous male?  Women aren't evil, men aren't evil, people aren't evil...INDIVIDUALS are evil.  Stop generalizing!  My point is, it is dumb.

Then I saw this and wanted to stab my eyeballs out.

First off, ew.  Nothing should be COVERED in the blood of ANYONE.  I know his "blood" is a metaphor for the sacrifice made to save us lowly creatures.  But, I REALLY want to post something so outrageous in response... And not because I want to knock their faith but because these same persons feel they have the "right" to bash my beliefs, attack me, and put me down for thinking differently.  NOT religion per se but other things I've posted about...like Equality, Racism, Rights, etc.  Anyways, I'm thinking pics....


Like this:

He is my fav movie devil

Or this:

The Devils Advocate

But I wont because then my mom will see it and I'll get an earful for being an @$$hole.  Which I'm really not trying to belittle their beliefs, I just don't...*ugh* Here and there is whatever but if you have to profess this to social media everyday that you are "Christian" and then act like a jerk-off to everyone who doesn't agree with you, you may have other issues...

Yes, yes good on you to have a very strong faith BUT I do not think Satan or Jesus checks your Facebook page.  And unless you somehow blessed the server where your page is hosted, your "page" isn't covered by anything accept web-crawlers trying to figure out your online patterns to post weirdo ads to your oh so "sacred" page.  So be careful when you are browsing for Porn sermons, Jesus/Satan may see it. 

This is weird, right?

So I got an email this morning from GearXS.  And I just...what?

For one, they are licking air...there is NOTHING in the bowl and it looks weird.  Is this a Photoshop FAIL???  Lets take this pic of a random dog drinking and this pic of a cat drinking and put them next to our EMPTY "talking" bowl...voila, this will make us MILLIONS!

So of course I clicked on it because my curiosity got the best of me....

My evil side came out and I thought of all the ways myself and my loving husband can use this thing to freak the other one out!!!  Or use this thing to freak the dogs/cats out.  Because we are that mature in my household.  The possibilities are endless! 

Honestly I think my dogs would get REALLY pissed off.  They'd hear my voice 2 or 3 times and then destroy the bowl because "mom, God! You are so annoying!!!  I know I'm a good boy.  I just want some f**king water.  OMG stop chanting in Latin...your scaring Speedy!"

I wonder if you can switch it off?  Because with my luck I would record myself saying "Christo!" or "Preciousssssss" or some other psycho line from (Insert Fandom of Choice), so when my cat went to drink at 3AM I would hear that screamed from my living room.  I'd scare myself and probably have to peel my cat off the ceiling. 

I saw the price and REALLY considered purchasing it...that is more than 1/2 off!!! And FREE Shipping...It is a STEAL!

But alas I shall not purchase.  One because why on Earth would I want a recording of my voice playing every time the animals drink (yes, they miss me but this is WEIRD!) and B or two there is a reason it is more half off, right?  Maybe it is defective...maybe it only has one volume which would cause our ears to bleed...MAYBE it is a portal to another dimension and we would start hearing OTHER voices recorded...maybe it is sentient, sent by Skynet to spy on us and turn our furry companions against us!  I just can't take that chance. And I really need to layoff the Sci-Fi/Fantasy but lets be honest...that's not going to happen.

Someone else purchase this for my amusement!!!!!

P.S. I found another use for my tag "what would Satan do" *muahahaha*

How many stars would you give 'What Would Satan Do?'?

This has to be by far the strangest subject of an email I have ever received from Amazon.  It is a review request.  Apparently I downloaded a Kindle book called "What would Satan do?".  I have no memory of doing this. 

I am a sweet little Catholic girl (well sort of), when did I download a book about Satan?!?  Weeeeeeell I do read lots of mythical, magical, good vs evil books (and I watch shows like Supernatural and Constantine) but this seems a little out of my element.  I mean why would I want to know what Satan would do...this isn't Supernatural...and if it were I'd be dealing with Crowley anyways. 

Since I am a curious creature, I opened the book.  I know every horror movie (SPN) buff out their just shrieked in fear.  WWSADD (what would sam and dean do)???  They'd say "OMG do not open the creepy book you don't remember buying!!! You douse it in salt and burn it"  Too bad its an eBook...how do you salt an burn and eBook, huh, huh?!?!?!  Stumped ya didn't I??? And I am not burning my iPad!  Great, guess I am now a pawn of the underworld. 

Whatever, I did open it and this is the first chapter title "Chapter 1: The Apostles Were Dirty Cannibals", WTF?!?!  Who let Cas write a book???  The first few sentences "There are days when it is appropriate to stomp the hell out of a frog, and days when it is just better not to. The trick is to know which is which.  Satan shot an evil look at the creature on the sidewalk. F**k frogs, he thought, using the new vernacular he hasn't quite got the hang of yet.  F**k them to f**king hell."   Ummmmm what...just what in the world?!?!?! I didn't know there was so much hatred for frogs.  I like frogs sir Satan. 

Then I went and read the synopsis and laughed my @$$ off.  This sounds flipping hilarious.  So now I know I probably DID in fact download it.  It is a satirical story about the devil giving up on hell because he doesn't like how God is handling Judgement Day (not The Terminator version) and is living on Earth. Then somehow becoming the only who will be able to stop Judgment Day.  I feel like this should be an episode of Supernatural where Lucifer & Michael get out of the cage and Michael is like "really guys?!?  What happened to heaven???" and Lucifer is all, "WHY is Crowley running my kingdom?!?! He's a total fan boy for those meddling brothers...I've only been gone for 4 seasons, this is unacceptable!"  Meanwhile the brothers are like, oh shit we forgot about Adam and we all have a good laugh.