Here's my 2 cents

I am certain some people will rip me to shreds for this but I have to get this out of my brain.

I know I do not have kids, yet.  And I guess it is hard to say how I will react in many situations but I just have to vent here. 

Let me set the scene:  flash back a few years.  Here we have a teenager coming into the beginning of their senior year.  They are on top of the world until mere weeks after starting the year they get caught doing drugs.  Well not caught so much as tattled on and are now required to be on probation and take random drug tests.  Here is where mom and dad step in and make sure they understand how bad this is and exert their parentness...except it doesn't last.  They are going to do stuff with friends and going to dances and have their stuff back in just a few weeks.  Where is the lesson to be learned?  I mean they can't let him/her not experience their senior year, it would be regrettable! I guess I just don't understand since I am not a parent. 

Flash forward a few months, its Mardi Gras...said teen is going to a "friends camp" for the holiday.   I know where they are really going. . . come one. . . its Mardi Gras. . . where the hell else are they going to go!? But alas we trust the kid and alas we are caught with our pants down again. . .guess where we were. . . come on guess.  Again there is a punishment but it doesn't last. . .by the end of the school year we are going on senior trip and to the beach with a friends family and getting a brand new car (nicer than anything I can afford with a full time job) for graduation.  Seriously where is the lesson to be learned?! Right...I don't have kids...okay never mind...keeping mouth shut. 

Jump to the first semester of college, its the first football game.  And they get caught with alcohol and a fake ID (apparently this happened to MANY new students as the one I am discussing was 1of 3 I heard of).  As required by law they are ticketed for underage drinking and possession of someone else's ID (I have no idea what it is called but you get the drift).  It sucks but I can't fault them too much here (I was a college student once, HELLO!) but come on at least TRY to hide your underage drinking from the nice police officer. 

A few months later in a drunken stupor they are arrested for a bar fight.  I'm sure the bar fight would have been bad enough but because of the amount of alcohol in their system they feel invincible and put up a fight...for those that don't know that is considered resisting arrest and well cops don't really like it when you do that.  So 9 hours in county lockup and $2,000 later the very upset parents manage to get them out.  Surely the punishment this time will be harsh! But again I am at a loss.  They still keep their vehicle and are still permitted to do whatever they want essentially.  The excuse is well they are in college, I cannot treat them like a child.  And  they are going to pay me back for ALL of this!   Sure they are *rolling eyes*.  Yea well ya know what when I was in college, if I would have done anything 1/16 as bad as that my daddy would have come find me and dragged me home by my hair.  Along with putting me under his own version of house arrest, taking away my vehicle and refusing to lend me any money.  I'd be lucky if he allowed me to even finish school at that point.  I would have been completely CUT OFF!  Apparently that is not how you handle a young miscreant today...now you must not let them feel like you've abandoned them, and coddle them, and let them suckle from your teat until you are in the poor house.  Because we would rather backrupt ourselves than teach a juvenile delinquent a lesson in how to be an adult.  I just...do not tell me I do not understand because I am not a parent!  There is clearly a PROBLEM here!!!!!

And now we are full circle.  We are in the here in now.  And guess what...our little delinquent has no idea how to be a freaking adult!  They still suckle from the parents money teat.  Granted they have not been involved in any more trouble...well as far as we know...but they have no sense of responsibility. i.e. they are failing out of school...as in grades so low they can't even get a loan!   Dad is irritated.  He wants to know why they are the way they are.  Mom is saying they are just a year our of high school, you can't expect them to act like an adult.  And so we see the problem.  If not in college then when should you develop into a responsible adult???  I learned how to manage time and expenses in college.  It prepared me for the real world so to say.  If we baby our college students, they will have NO IDEA how to handle budgets and time.  They will not be able to hold a proper job and possibly never be able to pay bills accordingly.  They may live off of credit and not know why they can't get a decent job.  We are creating a huge problem!  There is a point where you have to push them out of the nest and see if they fly...let them sink or swim...or whatever other analogy you want to use. You can't always protect them from life.  The sooner you let them learn how to handle adult situations (once they are adults) the better they will get at it.  You can be there to assist but you've got to loosen your grip man. 

This isn't the only situation I've heard of others.  There are way more than I'd like to admit.  Don't get me wrong I was spoiled at times and had to be helped out once or twice financially.  But I was also a near straight A student, held down a job and stayed out of trouble.  I earned the right to have mom and dad occasionally spoil me. 

Hmmm I hope that's not bad JuJu . . .

. . . I try not to be superstitious but sometimes my brain wont stop.

For the past week or so when I arrive at my office there is a cute little grasshopper hanging out by the door frame.  Most bugs don't bother me and this one is just kind of adorable...well if he flew and got tangled in my hair that would be a different story but for now cute. 

Each morning he is sitting there and when I would get close he turned towards me but didn't move much.  Almost like a greeting...well in grasshopper language it could be F**K Off but I am choosing to believe he was saying Hello.

It made me happy and smiley every time I saw him. When I would leave for lunch he was still there, a little higher up but there and when we would leave for the day he'd be somewhere near by.  I've gotten used to seeing him now so I was a little sad when I arrived this morning and he wasn't there to greet me.  I though it was odd but in nature I'm sure critters must move on or whatever.  So I walked in and made a comment to my co-worker.  She said she noticed he wasn't there too but was like me, guess he moved on. 

After I got my coffee I walked back to the front to get something and noticed something on the floor...it was my little friend.  I guess he got accidentally knocked inside or something...he was dead.  At least I hope it was an accident because don't forget I do have some "Satan Spawn" co-workers so who knows. 

After I found him I looked up Grasshopper Lore.  Here is what I found.  As a Chinese symbol, the grasshopper offers attributes of longevity, happiness, good health, good luck, wealth, abundance, fertility and virtue. In Ancient Greece the grasshopper is a status symbol. Athenians would adorn themselves with golden grasshopper hair combs and brooches as an indication of nobility. The grasshopper is also a symbol of immortality.

The grasshopper’s coloring is significant.  For instance, green grasshoppers indicate fresh starts (new beginnings), as well as the concepts of youth, rejuvenation, sentimentality, nature, adventure, growth and health.

Oh no, maybe he was my little good luck charm!!! 

Thankfully there doesn't seem to be any lore about dead grasshoppers as in its bad luck or something so, whew.   Like I said I try not to be superstitious but for some reason my brain was really focused on this...I still feel bad for my little friend though :(

Am I the only one who understands Customer Service?!?

I am by no means perfect but I have a thing about poor customer service.  Your sole purpose in any field related to Customer Service is to help the customer, make sure the customer is happy and do things in a timely manner.

This does NOT include acting like an ass on the phone because you are having a bad day, taking 2 days to do something that takes less than 5 minutes, or being non-responsive.  Look I get it. . . if you don't know the answer or are unable to be helpful by ALL means please pass the customer along to someone who is capable but don't just do one of the above.

Maybe because I've been in a sort of customer service role in some way, shape or form for 10 years I have some expectations but I do not think they are ridiculous.  I've been given the task of delegating some of my responsibilities to others to free up my time for new business development.  Its been 1 week. . .in that week I've received complaints from both customers and my counter part here.  The customers say the don't get helped in a a timely manner...the counter part says the customers have unrealistic expectations.

While I do understand that we are spread thin here. . . I do not think their expectations are unrealistic.  Not everyone will want to use an online maintenance system so quit forcing it down their throats.  Yes, please offer as its better for us and them but some people would just rather send an email or call in.  That is the nature of customer service. . . sorry but some people are just helpless get over it.  Your purpose is to assist them to the best of your abilities, quit complaining because its becoming clear that trying to free up some of my time is causing me to spend more time fixing problems with pissed of people. 

If Cleanliness is next to Godliness. . .

. . .I work with a bunch of demon spawn!!!

I'm not sure I've mentioned before but I've come to the conclusion that some people were raised in a barn. I honestly work with a bunch of slobs (not all of my coworkers, just a few). I do not claim to be the almighty clean person but I have good personal hygiene and I tend to clean up after myself.  I can't say the same for some others I know.

I know some people don't believe in taking that extra step to make a good appearance (lord knows I never wear makeup) but at least try to NOT look homeless.  We work in a professional environment, we may not have customers in here everyday but I have to look at you and if you look like you might smell bad I do not want to be near you...just saying.  So for future reference a stained/faded shirt, white washed jeans and tennis shoes are NOT business casual nor are they part of/an acceptable substitute for the uniform I personally ordered for you!!!

Moving on. . .how hard is it to replace the TP in the bathroom stall.  You are also a female you know how big of a deal this is.  We are a small office, 9 times out of 10 we are the only ones in the bathroom at a time...meaning I cannot ask "could you spare a square" to the person in the next stall because no one is there!  And I don't mean if you use the last of it...I mean if it is getting low just be a decent human being and grab another roll or I will curse you...if I ever figure out who you are; "may the fleas of 1000 camels infest your pubic hair" and if you don't have any of that I hope it feels like acid next time you pee :P.

Next topic. . .let me set the scene.  It is early in the morning.  You are making your first cup of wake up juice, also known as coffee.  You spill sugar/spelnda/creamer on the counter what do you do next?  a) wipe it up because that's what grownups do, b )leave it; who cares this isn't my house, c) swipe it onto the floor, the tile is white who will notice d) some combination of b & c with a dash of spilled coffee.  I always love it when I walk into the kitchen to get my wake-up juice only to have my shoe stick to the floor and/or crunch with every step.  Oh and aside from cleaning up after myself I just LOVE coming to work and cleaning up after you.  Thanks asshole! Not to mention the reconnaissance effort I have to go through to retrieve my shoe when the floor decides it wants to keep it. 

• Sub-topic:  please by ALL means use the last of the coffee in the pot and do NOT make another pot.  It makes me so happy to push the coffee button and have a splatter of coffee moisten my hand/shirt/cup.  I didn't realize my pristine white shirt needed brown speckles all over it to make the outfit.  I don't know what your mother taught you but in the office there isn't a magic coffee fairy that refills the pot when its empty.  There are more than a handful of us here please at least TRY to pretend you are not helpless otherwise I fear one day when its raining you will drown because you forgot to look down
• Sub-sub-topic:  if you do manage to figure out how to use the coffee maker just leave the used grinds in the filter basket to drip all over the coffee maker, table and floor.  The floor gets cranky when it doesn't get its morning drip of Joe and steals unsuspecting shoes by luring them in with sugar and creamer

Next! Please cover your food when you are heating it in the microwave!!!  There is even a sign next to the machine reminding you to do so.  Even if its just putting a paper towel over it...no one enjoys the smell of your food burning repeatedly as we heat our food.  Actually I hate to heat anything in there as I am fairly certain there is some form of life that has evolved to survive in the hostile environment because of the amount of "good eatin" that is plastered all over the walls and roof of the microwave.  10 times reheated Mexican leftovers smells like ass mixed with vomit when combined with the smell of my once savory tomato soup!


I can't believe I actually have to say this but...wash your effing hands!!!  Or at least sanitize or something.  I feel like I work with a bunch of toddlers.  There are greasy fingerprints and smudges on everything!  Today when I went to heat my food there was a questionable smudge on the 3 button.  I am assuming it was some sort of food product but I swear to you know who that it looked like a booger.  WTF man...if you must pick please wipe it on yourself!  Or use a tissue...in the bathroom and wash you effing hands!  I do not have children yet but when I do those are the only boogers I expect to see or be cleaning *shudder*.  You-are-welcome...I cleaned your nastiness off the keypad...if I figure out who you are I am so loud capping you in the next meeting!

Did I forget anything?  Inner office manners matter...or am I being a royal  B for expecting grown ass men AND women to pick up after themselves?!?!?!?

I think I've developed an addiction to Disinfecting Wipes...they've helped me keep my sanity.  They are my precious *insane cackling*.

Schwarzkopf Professional OSiS+ - Dust It

I received the Schwarzkopf Professional OSiS+ Dust it in my Spring Fever Vox Box to try for free from Influenster.

I have mixed feelings about this.  On the one hand it definitely gives me some much needed texture and volume but on the other hand my hair still falls a little flat fairly quickly.  I have theorized that this is because my hair is long and the weight of my hair causes it to fall.  I haven't had much of a chance to test this theory because everyone I know has long hair.  I finally was able to test this tonight.  I am on a business trip up north.  There is still some humidity but not NEARLY as humid as my home town in the summer.  I have a co-worker with me with short hair.  We both used this product.  Her hair stayed voluminous and styled...mine fell flat.  It looked good when we left but by the end of dinner (2-3 hours) it just looked like my normal limp long hair again. 

Also, it makes my hair feel weird  Almost sticky and it gets VERY tangled.  So if its windy where you are be mindful because you will end up with a rats nest for hair.  I will say that it helps with texture and volume but only for a short while if you have long hair.  Even my fine hair is too much weight to keep the shape.  I do like that if you need to tease up your hair this product helps A LOT. 

This might be TMI. . .if you are of the male gender I suggest not reading further

Ok so I am clearly female...at least I think its clear.  Anyways I suffer from all the normal monthly female issues.  Now granted mine are not NEARLY as severe as other women but I have some symptoms none the less.  Anyways for years I've been trying to figure out how to aptly describe the different feelings to guys who ask without totally ooging them out.  Now that I am married my husband has noticed different things about me and I can't ever quite explain them properly. 

As in he's asked "how do you know its "starting"?  Like is it all pain, grumpiness, or is it just like oh crap now I need new undies?"  Thanks dear for the simplification.  So I've told him repeatedly its like right before anything , um well happens, if you are paying attention and are not otherwise distracted you feel like a nudge or a jolt or a feeling like in the pit of your stomach.  This just seems to confuse him further because he is thinking like an electric shock or a lightening bolt and that's not what I mean. 

Its not always pain (at least not for me...not right away anyway). Well this morning I finally had a comparison.  I was awakened out of dead sleep by my body.  I kind of jerked but only ever so slightly.  The 1st image that popped in my head was when the clocks start in the movie "In Time".  When the two main characters are talking about when their "clocks" started what they were doing.  The guy says he was walking down the street and it almost knocked him over (that has TOTALLY happened to me before...and then I casually rush to the nearest restroom to prevent any embarrassing moments).  The girl says she was sleeping and it woke her up (hmmmm yep). 

To make this comparison even more weird...now that I've associated the movie and my...um life...I can picture a clock on my arm.  But my clock isn't counting down the years I have left to live...it's counting how many years I have left to potentially have kids.  Yep...that's where my brain went.  I don't ever think like that.  I want to have little ones but I'm not rushing or stressing.  Yes, we will have them but somehow my 1/2 asleep sub-conscious decided I should start thinking about it now and unfortunately I cannot get this image out of my head.  The whole biological clock thing just took on a whole new meaning o_O. 

Secret Outlast Clear Gel

I received Secret Outlast Clear Gel in my Spring Vox Box from Influenster to try for free and give my honest opinion. 

I have used the outlast gel on a few different occasions.  I will say it definitely is great for no white marks.  It is one of the few deodorants that did not leave streaks all over my clothing as I was putting it on or throughout the day/night.  The scent was refreshing.  You could catch a whiff if you moved the right way.  I never had problems with odor whenever I wore it.  My only issue with it is it went on "wet".  As in I felt like I had to hold my arms out and wait for it to dry.  Even after it " dried" my underarms felt "sticky".  So although I never had white marks or had odor issues, my underarms always felt moist which is just unpleasant.