Monday, August 19, 2013

Here's my 2 cents

I am certain some people will rip me to shreds for this but I have to get this out of my brain.

I know I do not have kids, yet.  And I guess it is hard to say how I will react in many situations but I just have to vent here. 

Let me set the scene:  flash back a few years.  Here we have a teenager coming into the beginning of their senior year.  They are on top of the world until mere weeks after starting the year they get caught doing drugs.  Well not caught so much as tattled on and are now required to be on probation and take random drug tests.  Here is where mom and dad step in and make sure they understand how bad this is and exert their parentness...except it doesn't last.  They are going to do stuff with friends and going to dances and have their stuff back in just a few weeks.  Where is the lesson to be learned?  I mean they can't let him/her not experience their senior year, it would be regrettable! I guess I just don't understand since I am not a parent. 

Flash forward a few months, its Mardi Gras...said teen is going to a "friends camp" for the holiday.   I know where they are really going. . . come one. . . its Mardi Gras. . . where the hell else are they going to go!? But alas we trust the kid and alas we are caught with our pants down again. . .guess where we were. . . come on guess.  Again there is a punishment but it doesn't last. . .by the end of the school year we are going on senior trip and to the beach with a friends family and getting a brand new car (nicer than anything I can afford with a full time job) for graduation.  Seriously where is the lesson to be learned?! Right...I don't have kids...okay never mind...keeping mouth shut. 

Jump to the first semester of college, its the first football game.  And they get caught with alcohol and a fake ID (apparently this happened to MANY new students as the one I am discussing was 1of 3 I heard of).  As required by law they are ticketed for underage drinking and possession of someone else's ID (I have no idea what it is called but you get the drift).  It sucks but I can't fault them too much here (I was a college student once, HELLO!) but come on at least TRY to hide your underage drinking from the nice police officer. 

A few months later in a drunken stupor they are arrested for a bar fight.  I'm sure the bar fight would have been bad enough but because of the amount of alcohol in their system they feel invincible and put up a fight...for those that don't know that is considered resisting arrest and well cops don't really like it when you do that.  So 9 hours in county lockup and $2,000 later the very upset parents manage to get them out.  Surely the punishment this time will be harsh! But again I am at a loss.  They still keep their vehicle and are still permitted to do whatever they want essentially.  The excuse is well they are in college, I cannot treat them like a child.  And  they are going to pay me back for ALL of this!   Sure they are *rolling eyes*.  Yea well ya know what when I was in college, if I would have done anything 1/16 as bad as that my daddy would have come find me and dragged me home by my hair.  Along with putting me under his own version of house arrest, taking away my vehicle and refusing to lend me any money.  I'd be lucky if he allowed me to even finish school at that point.  I would have been completely CUT OFF!  Apparently that is not how you handle a young miscreant today...now you must not let them feel like you've abandoned them, and coddle them, and let them suckle from your teat until you are in the poor house.  Because we would rather backrupt ourselves than teach a juvenile delinquent a lesson in how to be an adult.  I just...do not tell me I do not understand because I am not a parent!  There is clearly a PROBLEM here!!!!!

And now we are full circle.  We are in the here in now.  And guess what...our little delinquent has no idea how to be a freaking adult!  They still suckle from the parents money teat.  Granted they have not been involved in any more trouble...well as far as we know...but they have no sense of responsibility. i.e. they are failing out of school...as in grades so low they can't even get a loan!   Dad is irritated.  He wants to know why they are the way they are.  Mom is saying they are just a year our of high school, you can't expect them to act like an adult.  And so we see the problem.  If not in college then when should you develop into a responsible adult???  I learned how to manage time and expenses in college.  It prepared me for the real world so to say.  If we baby our college students, they will have NO IDEA how to handle budgets and time.  They will not be able to hold a proper job and possibly never be able to pay bills accordingly.  They may live off of credit and not know why they can't get a decent job.  We are creating a huge problem!  There is a point where you have to push them out of the nest and see if they fly...let them sink or swim...or whatever other analogy you want to use. You can't always protect them from life.  The sooner you let them learn how to handle adult situations (once they are adults) the better they will get at it.  You can be there to assist but you've got to loosen your grip man. 

This isn't the only situation I've heard of others.  There are way more than I'd like to admit.  Don't get me wrong I was spoiled at times and had to be helped out once or twice financially.  But I was also a near straight A student, held down a job and stayed out of trouble.  I earned the right to have mom and dad occasionally spoil me. 

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