Is it true that the sheer act of having a penis makes you less intelligent?!?
I think it is true, personally!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay I guess I have to explain.
Last Friday I went to this Christmas party thing with a girl friend of mine. Well the guy from 1st, 1st Date in 4.5 years entry (aka, bad kisser) was there. I've seen him around here and there and we are cool. We had the lets be friends talk, like 2 months ago and everything has been fine since then.
Yea well evidently his "lil brain" overtook his brain and he forgot about that on Friday. You couldn't peel him off me with the jaws of life. I mean everywhere I turned he was right there. There was zero concern for personal space! Well about half way through the night he decides he is going to pick me up off of the ground. There is an action shot of it...he gets real close and I am thinking ok picture time, then he picks me up, like 3 feet off the ground :P I was not happy. Wait it gets better, he does it at least two more times throughout the night. The last time he did it I believe my exact words were "put me down M____ F____ or I will make it so you walk funny for a week!" Or something along those lines :P Not to long after that last incident we left.
But that wasn't the only thing. He kept getting really close to my face and hanging on me. Finally after worming my way away from him for the upteenth time I started poking and punching him in the gut. It didn't work. He started trying to tickle me (which I can hold that in quite well most of the time so he stopped fairly quickly)! Then he started tickeling my friend....WTF!?! It was a nightmare. THEN I am sitting on a bar stool (about 5 or so minutes after he picked me up the last time) and I feel hands on my waist...but not just on me...UNDER MY SHIRT! I almost died. I looked at my girl friend and was like, there are hands under my shirt...she was almost speechless. Soooo we left. Wait it gets better.
I got 6 texts the next day, one asking what I was up to on Sunday (I never replied). THEN I get this via social networking site:
"Okay, I was thinking about Friday night and why NOLAGurl was hitting me the entire night. And this is what I came up with. Back in the caveman days, they use to show their interest in the other person by hitting them because that was the only way they could communicate. And as the night went on and the bottles of alcohol were being consumed, the hitting continued even more which is another sign of the truth. Drunks, not saying you were drunk but drunks tend to tell the truth when the have been drinking.
So, what do u say to that? LOL"
I was going to reply with "Aw thats cute wishful thinking" but instead (I was in a horrible mood last night) I replied with "Actually where I come from hitting/punching usually means someone is pissed off because you are in their personal space and they want you to move. Also I was un-aware that the new adult way to let a girl know you like her is to repeatedly pick her up, even after she politely asks you to stop."
He didn't get the hint. I got a Voicemail this morning saying "Hey its ____ just wanted to say good morning!" OMG really?!? Ok I am outta ammo, any suggestions?
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