What do you do when you find a good thing but you are not ready for it?
Okay so as you know I've been on a few dates with my internet guy. He is super sweet and understanding and...anyways you get the picture. I like him, I really do but I am not ready for another relationship yet. I want to have fun still. I want to go out on random dates, not because I am looking for anything but because I can... does that make any sense? I want to party it up with my friends and flirt and not feel guilty. I just want...I want to be single for a while.
So you may be asking yourself what brought on this rant here. Well ya see my friends cousin (guy from 5th First Date) called me out of the blue last week. He apologized for going MIA but said some stuff came up that he had to take care of and he also bought a house (like 5 min from where I live) and has been dealing with that. He said he had fun when we went out and wanted to see if I wanted to go out again. I guess I sounded a little put off on the phone because he quickly said, the house stuff has consumed his time, etc etc etc.
He asked what I was doing this Saturday, because he needed a date for this wedding and would like it if I could go. I had no plans, yet, but I didn't want to just say yes. He said he also wanted me to go to the rehearsal dinner on Thursday, if I could make it. I asked if I could let him know on Sunday a definite yay or nay. He said he'd give me a call. OK GREAT!
So for 3 days I contemplated what to do. Of course my friends and select family that knew said "Go for it, free food and booze". But I started to feel like I shouldn't even though internet guy and I are NOT, not seeing other people. So when he called Monday...I said OK. And it felt great :D haha. Problem, how do I tell but not tell internet guy. Well I just said I was going with a friend to a wedding Saturday, which is true. He asked if it was a guy...I said yes and we left it at that. Not bad right?
So why do I feel like a horrible person. I'll tell you why...because I like him and I shouldn't, AHHHH! So I am hoping that going out with friend's cousin will help me to figure out what to do...either that or it will confuse me more :P.
I am thinking after the wedding one of two things will happen:
1. Going on a date with another guy will make me realize how NOT ready for a relationship I am and that I should still be having fun
2. I will realize I want to be with Internet Guy and only him, even though I'm not ready for it
Somebody shoot me I thought dating was suposed to be fun!!!!!
1 comment:
i have no advice. well, except to say, follow your gut...heart...sex drive...hehe, one of them will lead you to where you wanna go! [i keed, i keed!] but i will say that i know you will make the best decision you can. don't feel guilty!! you've made it clear with internet duder where you stand. and although k's behavior is a little sketchy, well...i guess a second chance never hurt anybody. [that doesn't count as advice, does it?] anyway, good luck, can't wait to hear how it turns out!
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