This is my city!!!

So everyone should know NOLA is hosting Super Bowl LIX.  Everyone has been on edge for a few reasons.  One, it's not a secret we have had some crime issues although for the last few months they have been more under control.  Two, the terror attack that occurred on Bourbon street in the early hours of New Year's Day.  

Side note - I have never felt so loved as I did on NYD.  I was in bed by 2:00AM ish so I didn't know about the attack until I woke up at 8AM to a plethora of texts asking if I was okay.  I was so confused until I checked the news.  All my out of town peeps were SO WORRIED and I felt so loved that they thought of me. It was such a tragic awful senseless act and my heart breaks for the victims and their families.

Moving on to happiers events.

Our City...our beautiful, historical, unique city showed up!  We said we are NOLA and we will show you how to have a super bowl.  

For one thing the City looked amazing.  I know we cleaned up for guests but kudos to the beautification peeps that made it HAPPEN!

- The light show in the quarter

- the events ALL OVER THE CITY

- The locals actually showing up and being a part of things even though "our team" isn't in it

- The sheer number of celebrities. 

- The 1st EVER super bowl parade!!!!  Uh-Mazing!

- Lady Gaga's performance on Bourbon (sobbing)

- Harry Connick pre game show

- Southern University being showcased and showing how AMAZING their marching band and dancing dolls are

- Trombone Shorty and Lauren Daigle singing America the Beautiful

- Honoring the victims of the terror attack (literally sobbing).  

- John Batiste singing the National Anthem 

- The hilarious shade from Lil Wayne for NOT being the freaking half time show.  Like who made that decision.  

- The half time show... okay I wanted someone else (obvi) but it was ok.  Semi-Entertaining.  He did good, the dancers were great, and I like his songs but it wasn't as BAM for national TV.  Also SAMUEL L JACKSON!

- Its not over yet but HOLY $HIT the Eagles showed the f**k up!!!! As of posting this, its 27-0 Eagles!!!!

People have judgments of NOLA and some are most definitely true but NOLA said "hold my beer" and showed the F**k up!  This has been a beautiful representation of our city and our culture.  This is who we are! 

Just a few pics of events that have been shared. 

This is my city.  This is my home. And I am proud to be from NOLA!

UPDATE: I've watched the halftime show a few more times.  And its soooo good.  I missed a lot of what he was saying and the symbolism!  He had a message.  Message heard sir!  Soooo gooood!

Attack of the flying vegetables!

So I know down here in NOLA we do things a little different.  As with every holiday we take it to the extreme.  So OF COURSE for St. Paddy's Day we are all Irish for a day.  The beer and whiskey are flowing and we are having PARADES.  Because we will find literally any reason to have a freaking parade. 

I know I know, so many cities have parades for St. Patrick's Day, we aren't special.  But we kind of are.  So like everywhere else we have marching groups and bands...and floats...that we throw stuff off of....

So like Mardi Gras a bunch of drunk people hum things off of floats at your face.  Unlike Mardi Gras those things include more than Beads, Cups, Stuffed Animals.  Here in NOLA we do something REALLY weird.  We throw VEGETABLES.  No but for real.  Where I come from, it ain't a St Paddy's Day parade unless you can make groceries while you are there. 

They throw a bit of everything but mainly cabbage, carrots, potatoes, & onions.  Its not uncommon to hear the chant "cabbage, cabbage, cabbage"...or pick a veggie, people will chant it.  This year I caught a ton of lemons and oranges.  No really, 7 cabbages, 5 Onions, 15 mutant carrots, 19 potatoes, and 22 lemons...TWENTY TWO. 

Not my Pic LINK

Don't worry nothing goes to waste.  I literally make a giant pot of veggie soup and share what we can't eat with family and friends not at the parade. Moving on. 

Yesterday was like all the rest. I got the veggies, some tiny bags of chips, and Irish Spring Soap (hahaha).  As the parade was coming to an end, a bag of brown rice landed at my feet...INTACT *what*.  As I turned to pick it up something large wacked me in the back of the head.  It hit me so hard my head flew forward.  At first I was just like...

By the end, my head was throbbing and felt a little...off. 

I probably should not have driven home.  Not because of alcohol...I am fairly certain I had a minor concussion.  By the time I got home I was dizzy, nauseous, and in pain.  I think I am okay now but all day I had a lingering headache and my neck is killing me! 

I am not sure what hit me.  Maybe a pack of beads...maybe a cabbage. 

Whatever it was hurt like a mo-fo.  At least I made it home safe.  Death by cabbage, is not something I want on my tombstone.

Lesson - NEVER LOOK AWAY FROM A FLOAT. I am a local...I should know better....

It's not Mardi Gras, unless someone leaves with a bloody lip...

I swear I have a bead magnet on my FACE.  I'm not completely uncoordinated.  Clumsy, yes but I can catch things...especially if they are thrown at my FACE!

If you've ever attended a Mardi Gras parade you know what I am talking about.  Overly excited...possibly drunk, Krewe, throwing beads, cups, doubloons, frisbees, stuffed animals wrapped in beads, footballs, etc. off of moving vehicles IN THE DARK has the makings of "oops, sorry 'bout your face".

I usually manage to not lose an eye or get a bloody lip but do end up getting bruises or sprained fingers (especially if its cold).  But this year, I've made it to exactly TWO nights of parades (5 parades total) and have gotten a bloody lip AT BOTH.

One night, I blame it on the rain.  Yes, I was one of those dumb@$$e$ standing in the awful weather trying to catch a purse.  Not because I needed a purse but because we already had plans, I knew people riding, and decided f**k it, lets go.   The rain wasn't too hard but annoying none the less.  I had on a poncho so it was like wearing blinders.  I couldn't see up or to either side.  So its no surprise my luck ran out and something HIT ME IN THE MOUTH.  It was a tiny purse bracelet.  Its was super cute.  It made me BLEED. 

Some butthole in the crowd, saw it hit me, saw me bend over to get it, DOVE FOR IT almost knocking me over, snatched it, and ran off.  Um excuse me, that broke my face...its mine. 

My bottom lip was bloody but nothing too bad.

Night number two.  No rain *YAY*.  I was on a step ladder.  I couldn't see $hit.  I was holding my cup with my teeth trying to fix my shirt.  Something came out of no where and hit me square in the face.  I'm still not sure where it came from, I was looking at the f**king float.  Whatever it was cracked my cup and pushed it up.  This pushed the crack open and over my upper lip.  Blood started dripping immediately.  I removed the cup and bent over to get whatever the f**k just hit me and was under my step ladder.  This guy dove for it almost knocking me off my ladder, and started to walk away. This time I said, "HEY! You could at least tell me what busted my lip."

He looked embarrassed and handed it to me.  I gave him a bloody smile.  (sexy I know). 

It ended up being a cool scarf, headband, thing.  It was wrapped in plastic which is what busted my face...*ouch*.

So my personal opinion is if a throw "hurts" someone...they have earned said throw.  You pick that $hit up and hand it to them as a trophy.  That's what I do.  "Oh honey that looked painful, here's what slapped you in the face".  Where it proud!  Show that, whatever, who is boss!

99% of the time, flashers aren't local. The locals are usually judging the flashers. Its a f**king plastic bead, put your tits away!

*****Begin Transmission*****

I am not talking about Bourbon St.  Truthfully, I don't care what happens on Bourbon.  There aren't CHILDREN on Bourbon.  Well, there shouldn't be children on Bourbon.  It really isn't a place for youngins....at least at night and ESPECIALLY during Mardi Gras Season.  

I was at a f**king parade.  Yes, it was a parade just outside of the Quarter but its still a family parade.  Its a nerd parade.  Some of the costumes are sexy but nothing raunchy or questionable or something that you would be like "OMG little Johnny shouldn't see that!".  I mean other than the obvious Aliens trying to hide among the masses, its a fairly normal parade. 

I am not a fuddy duddy.  When I go to parades, I don't expect a royal treatment.  I know its going to be crowded.  I know I'm going to get shoved and stepped on.  I know there will be drunk idiots.  But there is a point when my calm  understanding of parade people stops being accepting and starts moving me more towards throwing elbows.

So we got there early and had a spot right on the barricade. Which for me is AWESOME because I am a little on the short side so me being front and center is wonderful.  I'd had some beers myself so I was making friends with EVERYONE...such a social butterfly at times *hehehe*.  I met people from San Diego, Houston, India, San Jose and Miami.  There were a few kids in the vicinity and I went into my usual NOLA tour guide mode.  Meaning I love that people visit my city so I want to make them feel welcome.  It was great.  We were enjoying this crazy goofy parade and chit chatting and just having a grand old time...until about 1/2 way through the parade.  That is the point where chaos entered in the form of a VERY drunk girl and two of her friends.  I don't mind drunk.  I really don't.  But stupid drunk that ends up with me injured...that my friends I CANNOT STAND!

As I've mentioned I am little and I tend to get lost in the crowd, which is why my husband usually tries to stand behind me to kind of keep me safe (daaaaaw).  Well Mrs. Drunky McDrunkerson decided that the best way for her to see the parade was on top of me.  Like literally ON TOP OF ME.  I was smooshed against the f**king barricade.  She was leaning over me.  Like all her weight on little ol' me.  I could feel her f**king nipples through her bra and two shirts and my two shirts.  Get off b**ch!!!!!  I would lean back a bit and she would move.  Then almost jump over my head to get to the parade peeps.  One of her jump forward moments ended with her losing her balance, slipping of the curb and latching on to me for stability.  She was at least twice my size.  I went forward into the barricade.  My skinny little chicken leg went between the bars and my forearms slammed into the top of it.  It f**king HURT!

My husband did what any husband would do, grabbed her and threw her off of me.  No fight ensued and she did apologize.  Yea yea yea whatever, stupid c**t...

Somehow she wormed her way next to me...between me and this adorable FAMILY from out of town.  Crazy drunk girl took the girls out.  She wasn't unattractive but really?!!?!?  So there they are eye level with me and just above a little girls head.  It was their daughters b-day.  Happy b-day little bit, have some tits in your face.  Are you for real?!?!!?  There are CHILDREN right next to you, put those away!!! 

But alas, she did not....she did cover them by pulling her bra cups back up...so no more nips.  And look I am not ashamed of the tatas but using them like that just cheapens them.  Sorry, not sorry.  

Then...oh yes, it gets better.  Then she looks at me and says "why aren't yours out?!!?" *shocked* "Ummmm, no I don't think I'll be doing that".  She says, "why not, you get more beads that way!!!" *WTF*  "Yea, no one wants to see my tiny tatas".  I was trying to be tactful but still let her know PUT YOUR BOOBS AWAY!  Instead her friend, who I will admit was quite attractive, turned to me and said "I wouldn't mind seeing them".  Oh....Oh my *blushing*...did I just get hit on by a very attractive girl?!?! *hehehehe* 

Still no, these puppies are staying under wraps.  After that it got a little better.  Her two friends were keeping her tamed but the boobies still stayed on display.  What kills me is the parade peeps weren't like "YEA, whoohooo boobs!!!" Instead they were like "Oh...what....ummmm..." *looking anywhere but at the boobs* and then handed me whatever trinkets they were giving away.  Because there were also KIDS IN THE PARADE!!!!

Seeeeeeeeeee you don't have to show your boobs to get Mardi Gras stuff!!!!  Just smile and wave.  That's all I did and I had all kinds of crap to bring home.  I like this parade because almost everything is homemade.  Its fun little things you get. 

I woke up Sunday with the mother of all bruises on my thigh.  There is a hard lump and its a lovely shade of red purple blue green.  My forearms are beat up too and I have a bruise on my ribs....probably from falling into the barricade. 

Lesson:  Drinking at parades is fine.  But try not to injure other people in your quest for cheap crap you can buy at the Wal-Mart. Oh and most people from NOLA don't show their boobs for beads!  We frown upon that.  Keep that $hit for Bourbon and leave it off of the parade routes.  

*****End Transmission*****

Challange Accepted

So not long ago a business associate not from around here asked me to describe where I am from without saying where I am from.  That's not easy...well it's not hard either but where do you start.  So I've thought long and hard about it and this is what I came up with.  Some of it is quotes from other places so be assured I am not claiming to have come up with all these, I'm just using some to make a point. 

Hmmm, where do I come from.  Well where I come from we are a Tiger on Saturdays and a Saint on Sundays.  We mind our Ps & Qs and we always say please and thank you.  We say ma'am & sir whether you are 10 or 80. Sunday dinner takes place at 2PM and you better not start before you say grace.  We have Mimis and Pawpaws, Nannys and Parrans.  Y'all is in fact a word and all y'all does make sense.  We have our own language and it is beautiful.  We eat red beans on Mondays and fry just about anything.  You will never find another place that has food like ours.  Each dish is a culinary masterpiece made differently by each person's own bit of lagniappe.  We have a party for every occasion and a parade for every holiday.   We drink a lot and don't always sleep enough but most make sure to go to church on Sundays (before Sunday dinner).  Some of us bleed purple and gold, some black and gold, some both depending on the day and few bleed green and blue (I think).  We sit on the porch and drink sweet ICED tea.  We visit with the neighbors and always ask "how's ya mom and dem?".  We are a Sportman's Paradise and a football fan's...dream.  We are proud of where we are from and want to share it with the world.  Where I come from gets in your blood and never lets go.  You might have to leave but you always, always wanna come back home. 

Think this is a good description of where I am from?  Do you think anyone who didn't know would figure it out?  Well if not *plfeet*.  This video is played at the 2015 LSU home games and gives you a taste of what it is like to be from here.

Tiger Stadium's "Louisianne" Pregame The tribute to Louisiana that plays in Tiger Stadium prior to LSU Football games this season. We love this state and our Tigers!