Jaws V: The low hanging fruit

Everyone is all like "So cool!" or "I need this for summer!" or "We could use this in the lake!" and I'm over here like "Do you want your @$$ literally bitten off?  Because that's how you get your @$$ bitten off!"  If you want to buy one have fun...I'll watch from the shore or in a boat.

Has no one seen Jaws?!?!?!  Murky water...people dangling just above it looking like easy targets...a skiff thing.  Come on!  This is basically what happens in Jaws II!!! They go out on these flimsy sail boats and Jaws says "b**ch, I'ma eat that" and everyone dies. 

Okay not everyone but a lot of them!  And Chief Brody is no longer with us so who the hell is gonna save us and tell that mean ol' shark to open wide?!?!? Huh?  Huh?!?

Ignore the caption!

"All right, you big bastard! Come On! I've got something for ya' now! That's it! Attaboy, come on! Right over here! Open wide OPEN WIDE! SAY AAH!" 
*electricity noise* *sizzling shark* *oh $hit that b**ch is on fire* *BBQ Shark sinking* 
"Yay!  We are saved!" *sobbing*

Okay soooooooooooooooooooo maybe I've seen Jaws too many times (like there is such a thing!) but I'd rather err on the side of caution, than see this comin' up to bite my @$$!

And if you are like "but fresh water no sharks" see this post.  AND okay, fine no sharks...South Louisiana...meet this!

Yes I know that's a Croc BUT I couldn't find a moving gif of a Gator.  With that said I've SEEN a gator jump out the water up close and personal.  Action shot, ala me. 

And that was just a "little" one!!! So no thanks, I'm good.  I'll hammock in a tree.

Happy King's D-ahhhhh what is that?!?!

Okay so being from NOLA we do this thing called King Cake launching Mardi Gras Season (officially beginning 1/6 - King's Day).  The tradition is to put a Baby or other trinket...like a bean or a nut or whatever but usually its a baby, in the king cake and who ever "gets the baby" buys the next cake.  This goes on through Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) also known as the day before Ash Wednesday...the first day of Lent.  Obviously this tradition has some of its roots in Christianity but the origins vary.  Look it up, seriously...there are a gazillion articles about it.  

Moving on...in other parts of the country/world there are other similar traditions.  They vary from place to place but the base is essentially the same. It is a round-ish cake with a baby (or trinket), the person that gets the baby gets the next cake. 

With that said I saw this pic and I feel very uncomfortable. My friend shared the page...all I saw was the picture. 

OMG you killed it!

Its a jewelry tutorial site.  Apparently she uses "recycled" products to create stuff.  While most of her stuff looks cool...this is a bit...unsettling, at least to me.  I mean its a baby corkscrewed through the torso! Couldn't we have found a different way to adhere the baby to the ring?!?!  I mean its a figure of a baby FGS!  I'm sure glue would have worked...or maybe wrap the wire around the baby.  Its like a plastic baby murder ring...I dunno, it just seems wrong. 

You can see the website in the pic, check it out.  Her other stuff is kinda neat, she is quite talented, seeeeeeee. I'm really not trying to be a jerk...its just that particular item weirded me out.  Sorry...