Sunday, March 23, 2014

Someone put the Gris-Gris on me!

Okay so I am clumsy this is not a secret but the last two days have been extreme! Like I feel like I'm in that episode of Supernatural where they find the "lucky" rabbits foot....which turns out to be unlucky and then Sam ends up saying "I lost my shoe". That's the kind of time I'm having.

FYI:  In Cajun French a gris-gris can be a bit like the evil eye. It’s kind of like a spoken word or even a thought you have towards someone.

It all started yesterday. I was weeding the garden when suddenly the hubs came running and went inside....um ok. Turns out there was a "nest" of bumble bees.  Like the GIANT black ones with the yellow stripes.  Those effers are aggressive!  Me not wanting to stop my yard work kept going while hubs guarded me with a dust pan...when he went inside for something one of the three evil creatures decided I was in its territory.  It attacked by dive bombing my head which resulted in me leaping to my feet and running.  I ran into the trash can which fell over dumping the contents on me.  Thankfully it was only weeds and branches but they ended up all over me...I was tangled in a load of sticky bush, weed things.  Which caused me to break out in a full body rash because I have stupid skin.  At this point I pretty much gave up and went inside to shower.  

(forgot to mention this) Then while trying to undress I got stuck in my sports bra.  Don't know how that's possible but I did it.  I was completely stuck in it.  My arms were in the weirdest position and it was half covering my bits.  Hubs came in the room and was looking at me funny...then lost it laughing when I said "*sigh* I think I'm stuck".  

The rest of the night was uneventful. Until we watched a movie based one my favorite fictional characters.  It made me cry...which the book did too so no surprise there.  Well hubs kinda joked with me, asking why I made him watch such a sad movie.  While waiting to start the next movie I decided my dogs were being unsocial.  I got them out of their room and went to close the door...forgetting there was a pull up bar still hanging.  The bar popped off the door and swooped down. It slapped me in the face.  I immediately fell to the floor clutching my face the dogs were like "momma what is wrong with you?!?"  Then the hubs saw me...thinking I was being silly so he was shoving me with his foot going "heeeeey what you dooooooooing?" Then he heard the sniffle/sob. He was like omg, are you ok?!  Then he saw my face and said "people are going to think....you tell them...omg ....tell them you got in a cat fight or something.  Omg". Which is totally unbelievable because I am not aggressive at all.  I looked in the mirror and I had a massive welt on my upper cheekbone, next to my eye.  I said I think I may get a black eye. I spent the next movie with a bag of frozen peas on my face.  I took pain killers and drank a coke (which I haven't done in 3 weeks) so I was up till way past 4am and woke up at 8.

I woke up the next morning with a nasty black eye.  Like I look like I was beaten.  People are going to think my husband hit me....*sigh*.  

Today I tried to cook a big pot of soup.  While dicing onions,  I pretty much cut the pad off my thumb.  Like the knife slipped, I ran to the sink and was panicking a bit.  No stitches needed but it hurts and I am bandaged. Hubs said no more sharp objects so he took over the cutting of veggies. I decided to peel the carrots...while peeling the peeler slipped taking off another layer of my thumb and I dropped the carrot into the trash can. He took that duty away from me also. So  I moved on to put the meat in the skillet to brown....the oil was too hot and I burned my arms.  He made me leave the kitchen.  He said just tell him what to do.  

The thing is, I am klutzy but I am not that bad.  I am currently searching my house for the unlucky item to break this curse or find out who thought it! Hope I find it before something else happens.  

**UPDATE** I spilled hot soup all over my shirt after typing this.  Thankfully I pulled the shirt away from my skin quickly so no burns BUT I was told to just sit on the couch before I ended up in the ER.  To top that off my eye is incredibly swollen today.  I have make-up on it but it is obvious its purple underneath.  Yea that's my favorite color but not for my skin!  I keep getting funny looks.  Like yea sure a "pullup bar" *wink*.

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