So since our weather down here has ranged from Antarctica minus 10 degrees to Raining on the Surface of the Sun in a matter of days I decided some outside time with my pups was in order. On Saturday I let them outside and decided it was time for a bath. My pups don't get frequent baths. They are inside dogs and bathing them inside is a NIGHTMARE. So they usually only get baths outside, when its warm(er), unless they roll in feline poop, opossum poop, armadillo poop, raccoon poop, dead squirrel, etc. I think you get the idea.
I got all their bath supplies ready and set to work. My old man first. He tried to act cold, I felt awful he was shivering. But then I realized he only did it when I was looking at him. That lil bastard! He's faking it. Talk about a dog too smart for his own good. So I bathed him and dried him as best I could with him being all "yay I am CLEAN" and grabbed Convict. Now mind you I can't let them inside until I go inside because they will get on the couches, beds, anything they can find and rub their wet dog selves all over them. So old man was still outside. I started soaping up convict which elicited a series of complaints from him. "Mooooom, stop...is that oatmeal bath?!?! No no no, I need my stink! I don't care if I have flaky skin...Staaaaahp!!!!!" While I was rinsing my hands I turned to check on old man who was in the process of getting really low to the ground (grass/mud), i.e. he is about to go into the dog equivalent of the alligator death roll, "Noooooooo! Don't you dare!" He froze, and thankfully just stood at the door waiting impatiently. I swear he rolled his eyes. WTH, can dogs even do that??? I turned around to rinse off Convict. He is no where to be found. Crap! So I quickly checked the yard, no sign of him...he is gone. Dammit!!!
I sprinted out the side gate and started hollering for him. "Convict...here boy...Convict...dammit dog where are you. He ALWAYS goes in the same direction so I chanced it and jogged that way, all the while whistling and calling for him. When I was about 1/2 way down the block I saw him a few houses down. One of my neighbors was outside watching me, he looked confused, apparently he hadn't seen the soapy mutt running down the street peeing on everything he saw. When I finally caught up to him, he was hanging with a neighbor who happened to be washing his car. As calmly as I could I said "come here" and pointed to the ground next to me. He put his head and tail down and walked over. My neighbor laughed. I apologized and said "go home" and he started heading that way. I waved to my neighbors and followed. Seriously dog, you ran away from me because I had a hose and ran to a stranger who had a hose. You make no sense!
We ran all the way back home and into the back yard. As we walked in Old Man was just starting to rub the side of his face on the ground, "Nooooooooooo! no no no no, you evil dog, stop it!" He stopped and stared at me with his tongue hanging out the side of his mouth but not before his face was covered in mud on one side *sigh*. I rinsed off Convict all the while fussing, then rewashed Old Man's face. I dried both of them and let them in.
I planned on super cleaning my house afterwards but all I wanted to do was take a nap after that ordeal. Damn dogs!
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