Its official I have the absolute WEIRDEST dreams. Ya know I thought only the bride had nightmares about her wedding but apparently her bridesmaids have them also. Maybe its because she is one of my dear friends and I want her day to be perfect or maybe I am absolutely terrified of her temper and don't want to be targeted. More than likely I drank too much Coke before bed and it fricasseed my circuits. Either way my brain was out of control last night.
So in the dream we were at a day spa. We were all getting the royal treatment. Which is hilarious because there is no way in real life I would spend $300 on just myself to be pampered. Maybe $100 for a couple services but no more than that. But the spa was weird. It was very dark and everything had a yellow glow. Like we were in constant candle light...in a dungeon. There was an echo and it was damp. I seriously felt like I was in some sort of hell. And the services were completed like an assembly line. The first comparison I thought of when I woke up was near the end of the Wizard of Oz when they get to Oz and they are being fixed up to see the Wizard.
I was 4th to go, so three peeps were before and after me. We got to the "blow out" part of it. This is where they are going to wash and STYLE my hair for the evening (we were going to dinner and dancing after). The person was really flighty. He almost couldn't focus long enough to complete a sentence and seemed high. Remember I was getting other services done so I didn't see the 3 girls that went before me or said psycho until I was in the chair. The guy was a character I had apparently seen on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D earlier in the evening (Russo). He was ranting animatedly about nothing. It was super annoying. Then as he was styling, he took out some scissors and said I needed some dead ends trimmed. I argued that I had a hair appointment coming up and didn't need him to. But he insisted it was part of the package and the other girls had it done. Okay...but just a trim. Which is how it started...until he mistakenly snipped a large chunk in the back. I felt it...my hair is past the Middle of my back. He said it was easily fixable no worries. It happened so fast that by the time I started to protest and went a little bat-shit crazy I had a long layered feathered look...ya know like the famous Charlie's Angels look. But not as clean looking...it was VERY choppy and frizzy.
He insisted it was the "new vintage", WTF does that even mean?!?! I was frantically trying to see how to put this montrosuty in a bun since that's how I have to wear my hair for said wedding...I looked like a chihuahua on espresso with a bad perm who had a bad case of static electricity. It was AWFUL. But on a happy note, since said psycho hairdresser royally screwed up, I insisted that I wasn't paying full price for this BS and demanded hair extensions to make it better (I was channeling the bride, apparently).
What's really funny is my outburst backed up the assembly line and the 3 after me were like, its not THAT bad, really. You look trendy. *with my best bitch face on* Uh yea no! Then I woke up.
I seriously looked like a tomboy version of Farrah Fawcett...it was scarring.
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