As always this weekend was stocked full of crazy events in the NOLA area. There was the Red Dress Run, Dirty Linen, Jason Mraz concert and all kinds of other regular weekend activities that take place in and around the area. The first two guarantee a crazy time in the quarter, the rest is just lagniappe.
Lets begin with the RDR. There was a marriage proposal, a few arrests (normal) and lots of public indecency (also normal). The biggest indiscretion is probably the people who think its ok to publicly urinate. I know it happens all the time in the area but the bigger the crowds the more likely it is you may actually SEE someone doing this. There were, as always, a few instances where you may see a shadow behind a vehicle or dumpster relieving themselves which is gross but at least you don't see much. This weekend was the first time in a LONG time that you could actually witness blatant peeing in public. I will list them in order of grossness not necessarily the order they occurred. The first incident was a guy in a red dress. . .he sure did just whip his *ahem* out and start peeing in plain view. No shame at all! And he was itching his sack area which just made it that much more oogie. The next was a girl in a red dress who just squatted on Bourbon. At least ask your friends to surround you so others cannot see what you are doing but no she just wandered off to the side of the group and squatted as a stream of liquid ran down the sidewalk. . . um ew! The last one I will mention is the craziest thing I have EVER seen. . . and I used to work in the quarter, you'd think this wouldn't surprise me. There was a girl (attractive girl) pulling her red dress up and showing some full frontal panty. She was in the nook of a building and talking on her cell phone. She saw a group of people walking up (us) and pulled her dress down. . . then as we walked into said building she started to pull her dress up again and then dropped her phone. She saw us standing by the security desk inside (which contained a guard) and she walked across the street. . . she then proceeded to hike up her dress again. She pulled it up above her waist, yanked her panties aside and began to urinate. . . while standing. . . in broad daylight while leaning against a parking meter. I think we were in shock some of us stared in shock, the rest turned away. She was a just peeing away. . . this may be TMI but it was splashing ALL OVER and there was a group of people that walked by right near her and she just kept going like it was the most normal thing ever. The guard was like is she. . . did that just happen. I almost couldn't believe it but we are in NOLA and some strange shit happens here so yea. My thing is there are businesses, bars and even port-o-lets all over. . . why pee in the street?!
Moving on to Dirty Linen, this was less eventful in that respect. But there were a couple of things worth mentioning. One, if you are going to block off a street for pedestrians to wander do not make it impossible for emergency personnel to get through. We saw a fire engine almost take out one of the drink tents that was literally set up ON Royal Street. It was taking up more than half of the road and they had to scramble to get it moved so the engine could get through. There was lots of cursing and name calling and the fire men were quite agitated. Two, if you are going to open your gallery/shop on Dirty Linen night do not get angry when people bring in drinks. Its NOLA, people usually have drinks in hand and there are pop up bars all along the street. Either suck it up and let people bring in drinks and hope no one destroys anything or don't open that night. So many artists/artist friends were irritated with 'drunk' patrons with drinks. I heard more than a few heated exchanges over silly things which seemed unnecessary in most cases. Blatantly drunk, stumbling and spilling, ok I get that but just people walking around. . . doesn't seem that big of a deal. Three, careful what you say. These people are opening their business to you. It is not necessary to openly insult their products or artwork while in the shop/gallery. Its OK if you don't like it or think its overpriced but you don't have to loudly announce in the gallery that it "looks like a child drew it". The reason I say this is because one of my friends did this. . .it wasn't intentional but the artist hosting the gallery was within hearing and looked so embarrassed. Clearly his art isn't for everyone but no one wants to hear that. Just be courteous and at least wait until you are out of ear shot to make the comments. Of course I'm sure he forgot all about us once he sold his abstract scribbles for $3,500.
Next on the list, going to a bar on Bourbon. Usually good times but oh the things people wear. Too tight, too little clothing and too much air humping. I was assaulted by someones big booty in leggins while sitting at the bar. She was a shaking and a moving and her bootay broke my bag of goodies I bought. Then she gave me a sweaty hug (thanks....). We also had a creeper who was stalking one of my friends, he was standing way too close and practically undressing her with his eyes (ew). There was also "snoop dogg" who was fascinated with my friends hair. . . actually touched it, like stroked her hair. There was more red dressers who got into a "slapping game". He slapped her, she slapped him and so on until she moved he missed and hit her drink and that spilled all over the back of my other friend. Then there was the random patron who offered our bartender cocaine. I'm sure there was more but I'll leave it at that.
The sights seen in the Vieux Carre never disappoint. They may scar you for life but they usually make for good stories.
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