I feel like such a snob!

Is it possible to be a bitchy snob and not really realize it?

Well in my defense I have NEVER seen myself as a snobby person. I mean I can be at times but for the most part it just doesn't come naturally to me, I am generally nice to everyone. But I am finding as I get a little older I am less tolerant of people and their situations...especially if they can change it.

You see my internet guy and I "made up" after my last post. We are okay I guess but I am still a bit leery of him. He says okay with not being "with" me, but I don't know if I fully believe him. Anyways as I was showering last night (hush I do lots of thinking in the shower), I started thinking about my expectations and what I want in a significant other. Some things are superficial but I think they might be important. So here goes.

When I was younger all I cared about was my connection to the other person.
* Compatibility
* Sexual Attraction
* Interests
* Level of 'Fun'
* Level of Jealousy
* Etc etc etc
All that future and job stuff didn't really matter to me...

Now that I am more mature other things tag onto that list like... (don't laugh)
* Type of Job
* Level of enjoyment in said job
* Financial responsibility
* Future goals and wants
* Level of intelligence
* MUST LOVE DOGS

After all this thinking in the shower I've decided the men I usually choose do not meet enough of these standards. I don't need/want a Dr or Lawyer when I say Type of job, I mean does he work in a dead end industry, make next to nothing and do nothing but B%*&H about it constantly...even though he KNOWS he can do better. Hmmm, I wonder if I am talking about someone in particular.... I know, I know I am a b%*&h.

Anyways, I don't need or want a Mr. Big but I do want AND need someone who can take care of themselves. I need someone who is not scared to venture out on their own. I need someone... like me, DOH!

I guess I have finally come to the conclusion that...
"I ain't settling for just getting by, I've had enough so so for the rest of my life, Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high, Just enough ain't enough this time, I ain't settling for anything less than everything..."

Ok now that I am done breaking out in song, what do I do. I like Internet Guy but my shower time made me finally accept why I wont be with him. He doesn't meet enough of the criteria I had subconsciously created in my head. He meets 4 of the connection criteria but he fails a big one... he gets really jealous and he doesn't say anything, he bottles it up and then EXPLODES (not good).

But on the second list he meets only a couple. It's not that he has a bad job per se but he complains about it all the time and says he really needs to find a new one but then does nothing. For gods sake he has a college degree and is fairly smart he can do WAY better but he chooses not to. Just like he chose not to go to the better college because he wanted to take care of his family (honorable but questionable) or chooses to still live with the fam even though he could easily move out. To me it's like he's scared to move on. And that scares me. He's never been on his own, he's never had a roommate, he's never had to live pay check to paycheck to make rent or buy groceries. He's never been...an adult. I mean he wholly depends on his 'girl' to have her own place because he still lives at home (he wants to act like an adult but doesn't have the means to do it :P).

My other dilemma. Best Friend's Cousin meets WAY more of my silly criteria. But we don't have the same emotional connection... well we might but we haven't had enough dates to figure that out yet :P haha.

Anyways I am still not ready to "pick" a guy but I am ready to do better. I deserve to do better. I deserve a man that will respect me, wants to take care of me and himself, wants to be with me and makes ME happy...right?