Confusion

Why is it that when you think you finally have everything figured out a monkey wrench gets thrown in the mix and it all goes to cah cah?

So I have this ‘ex’. We dated YEARS ago for like 3 years. We were a great couple EXCEPT we fought over everything. It was a very volatile relationship, so of course it ended and then he moved away. We both moved on. I am in a committed relationship and he…well he’s doing his thing. He doesn’t really tell me one way or the other what he’s up to and that’s fine I guess.

The problem…whenever we see each other (which is NOT very often), there’s this ‘connection’. And it drives me insane because I know there is no reason for it to be there anymore. We are different people now and have other things going on so why do these ‘sparks’ fly. I thought I was imagining it but my best friend, who was not around when he and I dated, saw this connection this last time we were all together.

Why does it drive me insane? Well because it’s almost like no time has passed and we are ‘together’ again. Which after the fact (meaning after he or I leaves) makes me start to wonder/question everything. CRAZY, I KNOW! I have a good thing with my current boyfriend so why the doubt, because for some reason the human mind only remembers the good times. Even when I try to make myself remember the hurt and pain it seems OK, like it really wasn’t that bad. YEAH RIGHT! Then I start to think he’s (the ex) only flirting with me to get back at me…which I hope isn’t true but people do stupid things.

Then recently, I find out he ‘lied’ about something. You see he’s been preaching to me for WEEKS that he and his lady broke up for good this time. Okay, cool I guess, whatever makes ya happy. What kills me is, like I said he comes here all charming and sweet and driving me insane and requesting a visit to his city fully knowing I am still taken. Well I find out through various sources that they are not broken up but very much together. UMMMM, what the hell? Why lie to me about that? I know about this person and if she makes you ‘happy’, why lie to me and say you broke up with her. That’s just STUPIDITY in my book. I don’t lie about my status. I am very much taken. It’s not like I said I am single again let’s hook up, not that, that would have justified the fib but still!

He left 4 days ago and for that stupid, short period of time I have been pondering about what would have happened had we not split. Would we be happy, miserable, married, etc? I hate these random thoughts!!! Mainly because they are dumb, dumb, dumb. I’m apparently this fling thing he wants to have. Just a one last time situation, at least that’s what I have been told, which makes me get pissed because I am like, really, that’s all I am, thought we were friends…WOW, that’s pretty shitty.

I am in a fairly difficult place right now. Because I REALLY want to call him out on the lie but I don’t want him to think it’s because I am jealous, further feeding his ego. What to do?!? This is why I hate men, they suck, especially mischievous ex’s!