Who me...?

 

So we were at an "event".  Like a small socially distant event.  But not like something you would dress up for...or look even close to your best.  To be honest I probably looked a little like death.  No makeup and very little sleep.  

As per our usual we were taking photos.  On the way out we saw there was a backdrop to take pics in front of.  One of my girls and I were about to selfie when I heard someone say "please let me".  When I looked up there was this stupidly attractive guy.  He kinda looked like a cross between Jake Gyllenhaal and Chris Hemsworth.  Not tall but extremely cute with crystal blue eyes and a full beard.  Um okay....sure.

So I gave him my phone to snap a couple pics.  This turned into a 10 min, multiple picture photo shoot.  

"okay now you do this"

"Now look that way"

"No masks, lets see those pretty smiles"

We were cracking up.  He was CLEARLY having a good time making us giggle. Then my husband walked up.  He froze for a split second and was like

"we need you in there, sir, get in the middle"

So many more pics but not quite as silly.  He smiled almost shyly and handed me back my phone. 

It was one of those rainy days so we bolted to our vehicle to go home.  When we got to the car my girl was like "I don't know which one of us he was flirting with but he was obviously flirting with us...right?!"

Yes ma'am 100%.  Hubs was like, I can't leave y'all alone for 5 min. 

When I looked at the pics they were great!  We looked so naturally happy because he was making us laugh.  There were close ups of both of us individually and together.  Some with our heads back cracking up or bent over belly laughing. 

So I am not sure if he was hitting on one of us or just a really nice, funny guy but he made our day.  Plus did I mention he was really really cute so I guess if he was flirting, we were flattered.

May the force be with you

"And also with you"...wait...

Moving on...this isn't about "The Last Jedi", so have no fear..but if you haven't seen it. GO SEE IT!

Its back.....

I have seen this way too many times on my FB wall.  I thought it was a "haha".  It is not a "haha".  Okay for some its a "haha" but most...no "haha".  Most I am seeing don't get the f**king joke and are putting #praisejesus. 

THAT IS NOT A REPRESENTATION OF JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That isn't your lord and savoir...that is a Jedi Master (a very attractive Jedi Master) and he's our only hope.

No, ok.  I finally said to one via private chat (because I'm not a complete @$$hole), "sweetie...that's Obi-wan Kenobi".  Hand to god, she said "Is he a Saint?".

You're kidding...Right.  No...okay, so not everyone is a fan of Star Wars but "is he a Saint"?!?!?!?  I mean what kind of Catholic are you!?!?!?!!? "Is he a Saint".

What's crazy is in like 500 years (if we don't kill ourselves off first) this WILL be a standard picture of Christ and I just think that is the funniest thing EVER.  A picture of a fictional character will be seen as the Messiah.  I think there is a joke in there somewhere.  You heard it from me first (I think)...some troll created a Meme that will one day be seen as a representation of the son of God.
 

I.am.not.a.Doctor!!!!!!

Or The Doctor.

I have no medical whatever.  I read.  I educate myself.  I am trained in basic First Aid and CPR but I am by no means a medical professional.

Which is why I find it utterly DISTURBING that certain people feel the need to send me pictures and say "what do you think this is?"

Ahhhhhhh....*grossed out*.

Not like I said "Oh, you have a rash, what does it look like".

No I am just talking about a random text or email...completely unsolicited..."Look at my ______".

My response 100% of the time is some variation of   "Gross...also...go....see...a....DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If you tell me about a whatever, I may say "Oh I had something like that and did _____.  But everyone is different...if that doesn't work or it gets worse seek medical assistance".

So why....why...why...did I just get a message with 4 pictures of a rash that looks suspiciously like staph.  No explanation.  Just 4 pictures.....of a rash.

I said "OMG stop sending me pictures of your rash!" then "GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!"

F**k, I'm short!

So like its a ongoing joke that NolaGurl is short.  But sometimes I forget HOW short I am.

So I was looking at pictures and I realized I am almost abnormally vertically challenged.

Take the pic of me and Jenna Coleman from a couple years ago.  Now mind you I had on converse but I was a good 3" shorter than her and she is TINY.  She HAD to have had on heels.  Because according to the Internet (its always accurate) she is only 5'2" and I am somewhere in the 5'1" -ish range depending on my posture.

Moving on.  This got my curiosity sparked.  How freakishly short would I look if I took photos with any other celeb favs (without height assistance)...?

Billie Piper 5'5" - I'd be staring at her chin

David Tennant 6'1" - I'd basically be eye level to nipples.....

Tom Hiddleston 6'2" - Somewhere in that same vicinity

Peter Capaldi 6' - Chest gazing yet again

Jensen 6'1" - I'm seeing a pattern here

Misha 6' - I'm getting used to staring a man pecks

Jar Pad 6'4" - That's like belly button danger zone (hahaha, jk...maybe)

Tom Ellis 6'3" - JFC what are they feeding these people?!?

Scar Jo 5'3" - Okay a bit closer to me

Caity Lotz 5'6" - Oh come on!

Morena Baccarin 5'7" - ...really?!?! I mean shes hot so yea okay

Jason Momoa 6'4" - Combine that with his width and that is a laughable pic

Nathan Fillion 6'2" - Dude....DUDE!

Stana Katic 5'9" - I...I did not realize this...

In conclusion...I am a for realz shorty...Jenna is probably the shortest famous person I will meet...also...any future celeb meetings, I should wear heels....

How it looks

How it feels

Oh and just for fun (because I've met him before)

Shaq 7'1" - It looked as funny as you are picturing. This was pre-smart phone so I don't think a picture still exists....

Also, the husband is just over 5'10" and my eyes are near his collar bone so I guess I like 'em tall-ish, ha!

Seriously though...if she's 5'2" and I'm an inch-ish shorter...that is totally just above nipple level.....  

Doth my eyes deceive me?

Yes!  Yes they do!!!  I don't understand.  I am in my 30's, I was in dance and theater...I know how to put on makeup.  I know how to make my eyes "pop" and whatnot.  So why does the camera not capture it!?!?!?! 

Does anyone else have this issue???  I am not talking about heavy liner/going out type looks.  I am talking about the subtle but noticeable accenting of your eyes.  Where you are enhancing your looks but without looking like you were attacked by a sharpie. 

I hate when I finish my makeup and I am like, "Ooooo yea, that looks good".  Then I see pics on my phone and I am like "where the f**k did my eyebrows go?!?!" I go to the ladies room to "touch up" and in the mirror my eyes are like *bam*. Dafuq?!?!?  

Seriously though...how do I see this in the mirror:

And this in pics:

What sorcery is this?!?!?! I even lost the shading of my iris.  Am I a zombie?  A vampire?  What is happening?!?!?!  Do I have some sort of weird skewed way of seeing my reflection?  I hate to cake on MORE makeup just for pics.  I take that back, its not ALL pics.  Its pics on cell phones!  Professional photos or pics on my "fancy" camera look way better.  And I don't have a $hit phone.  I have an iPhone 6 and my friend has a brand new Galaxy...WTF man?!!?!?

**Note** - Yes I did draw those...don't laugh...they were quickie sketches done at my desk to illustrate a point.