Can you accidently open a portal by just WATCHING those stupid TV shows?!?!?!

I spooked myself so bad.  I was home alone *doh* and decided to watch Sunday night TV.  Normally I watch the FOX lineup and Downton Abby but FOX had on The Passion Live (which I watched) and well the other one ended *wah*.  What does any normal person do after watching a live action bible story...they watch the new episode of "A Haunting", duh! 

Mind you prior to the live show I was watching reruns of A Haunting....like all day!  I clearly watch these kinds of shows all the time.  A Haunting, My Haunted House, Paranormal Lock down, Paranormal Survivor, Ghost Hunters, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Paranormal Witness...I think you get the idea.  And while sometimes they give me the heebie jeebies, I am not usually scared...most times I'm just intrigued.  I mean I know some people are nutters but they can't ALL be making this $hit up...right?!?!

So as I said it was a NEW episode of A Haunting so I was like sure why not *BAD IDEA*.  This episode was about a DEMON that attached itself to a young girl. 

*quick recap* Her dad died before she was born. Weird $hit starts happening in the house like 9 years later. They think its dad.  Little girl sees dad.  Its not dad, it morphs into this horrifying creature with f**king cat eyes (oh hello "yellow eyes"...watch SPN).  It DRAGS the little girl around the house, hides in the closet/bathroom/HER BEDROOM and is very violent.  I'm freaking out a bit...this is kind of scary.  

Moving on, I go to bed a little spooked but I am fine.  As I am showering I heard a noise so I opened my eyes and see a distorted face staring at me through the curtain, *yipahhhhhhh*...Dammit dog...quit being creepy. I finish up and go to lay down.  Speedy starts going BAT$HIT crazy.  Ummmm...dog....Dog...DOG...STAHP!  He is barking and growling at me.  He is BITING at my arm and literally pulled me off the bed.  He stopped...I got back in bed and he went ape$hit again pulling on my arm.  "What is wrong with you?!!?!"  It started to hurt so I yelled and he stopped.  I laid down and he climbed on top of me...growling...NOT at me, just in general.  "WTF dog, it is NOT play time. Go to sleep, you are freaking me out!"

I got comfy and started reading my book.  I was just starting to get drowsy when one side of my closet doors slowly popped open (its two of those two panel sliding ones). *eeeeeep* "Its a cat. *sees cat in my lap* Its the other cat " I crawled to the edge of my bed....no cat.  "f**k, f**k, f**k."  I pushed the door closed.  I attempted to get comfy again...it popped open again, no cat in sight...*sigh* "I'm going to die".  I pushed it closed.  I just laid back down when my door popped open again *staring in horror* and then one of the doors on my husbands popped open *scream* I dove to the foot of the bed and I thought I saw a black shadow go under the bed.  "WTF this isn't funny!!!"  That was the black cat...right....RIGHT?!?!?  Old lady cat starts "complaining" and growling.  "Oh just f**k me sideways, what is happening?!?!!?"

I jumped up, closed my closet...tethered it shut with a rope belt thing.  I closed the husbands closet and blocked it with the laundry basket, then looked under the bed.  Nothing...no cat....*breathing heavy* "Its fine, we are fine...its FINE!" 

I am now just staring at the TV waiting for something...nothing happens *whew*.  I eventually start to doze off and I hear *knock knock knock* *eyes pop open* *whimper* *pulls covers higher*.  I am clearly hearing things.  *knock knock knock* My closet door is moving but can't open.  "$hit $hit...its a cat, its a cat".  *bang bang bang*. Speedy starts growling, old lady runs out of the room.  "OMG I am going to be a statistic!"  I dove to the edge of the bed...nothing *sobbing* "It has to be a f**king cat!"

So now I am going to be the "stupid girl" from the horror movies.  I slowly lowered myself to look under the bed.  I hear a *hiss* and two glowing eyes come darting at my face.  I screamed, speedy is barking, I fell off the bed head first (we have tile floor...OW!) and now have a black cat playfully attacking my arm.  *with a shaky voice* "I f**king hate you!!!! You know that right!"

It was Demon Spawn.  Apparently she wanted to mess with me for some ungodly reason.  She was popping the doors open and then hiding under the bed, I guess.  Her collar is broken so there isn't a bell. She is in super stealth mode at the moment!  

Soooooo not a spirit or whatever...just an @$$hole cat.  

Santa is not a Demon. You people have gone too far. Stop ruining Christmas with your nonsense!

Look I am all about freedom of religion, belief, choice, opinion, whatever but do NOT ruin something for everyone...especially kids...because YOU suddenly feel like everything that doesn't directly says "Jesus Christ" is satanic.

I saw something on Social Media that made me want to go on a spree.  Still undecided if it was a murdering spree or running spree...but it was one of them.  I saw this:

"Santa's a Demon! The uncomfortable truth about Christmas"

I saw the article linked to a "friend's" page along with the statement that said "This is why I told my child that Santa, the Easter bunny, etc. isn't real and we celebrate Jesus Christ in my house!"

Okay fine.  That's fine.  No.It.Isn't!!!  Your child is 7.  Why would you take this away from your baby?!?!?!  He is being raised catholic/christian.   All of his cousins and classmates Believe in Santa.  Why would you ruin the magic of Christmas like this?!?!?!  Not to mention, if he goes to school or to his cousin's house and regurgitates that, how do you think those parents will feel?  How do you think those kids will feel?  I can tell you right now if your extremest uneducated skewed religious bull$hit spoiled the magic of Christmas for one of MY littles, you better run because I can't be held responsible for my actions.  And you better run fast because I've been training and I am pretty quick. 

Why can't you teach him that Christmas is about Jesus and still let him enjoy the magic?  I grew up believing in Santa and I didn't turn into a "devil worshiper".  This is the stupidest thing I have ever read in my life.  This takes the cake on extreme religion.  I am sorry you are "scared of Santa" but come on.  Do you even know the origin story????  Do you?  Because based on this fear mongering article you shared you do not! And just because Santa and Satan are spelled similarly doesn't mean anything!!!!

Read this.  Yea yea, I know History Channel isn't law but they do a pretty good job when it comes to research...usually.  It is widely believed that Santa Claus is based off of St. Nicholas (a real person). "The name Santa Claus evolved from Nick’s Dutch nickname, Sinter Klaas, a shortened form of Sint Nikolaas (Dutch for Saint Nicholas)." What the f**k is Satanic about that?!?!?!

12/25 is a pagan holiday, therefore Santa is a pagan god.  Hey, again...know your history.  Yes 12/25 is originally a "pagan holiday".  It is the final day for the celebration of the Winter Solstice.  A holiday that was literally hijacked by Christians.  So while you are correct, Jesus was probably born in the Spring, our religious forefathers more than likely decided that it was a time when people already celebrated things so why not use it as Jesus' birthday.  The celebration of Saint Nicholas is 12/6 or 12/19 depending on where you are from...so I guess they kind of morphed together for some of us.  At least that is my understanding. 

Krampus isn't the underlying "demon" hiding behind Santa or Santa Claus' alter-ego, making Santa "evil".  Do you even know how to Google?!?  Or go the f**king library.  "Krampus is believed to be a beastial creature who accompanies St. Nicholas on his earthly journey. While St. Nicholas rewards the good children with gifts and sweets, Krampus dispenses punishment to the wicked children who have strayed from the path of good. It is said he takes care of St. Nick's "naughty list"."  Krampus was created to scare the $hit out of naughty kids just like the legend of Santa has morphed into a figure to reward "nice" kids...so they'd behave!  If anything Krampus makes Santa appear even more Saintly.   And lets be real, you only know about Krampus because of that crazy movie that just came out.  Almost no one here in the states knew what that thing was before so just stop.

This isn't a f**king witch eating a baby in some sort of demon worship!!!!

Link to original pic

This is Grýla.  Grýla is a mythical giantess living in the mountains of Iceland. Most of the stories told about Grýla were to frighten bad children.

My point is there isn't anything Satanic about Santa, Krampus, or Grýla.  These are stories to scare little kids into behaving.  There is nothing pagan about December 25th or Santa.  Unless you are a pagan and are celebrating the Winter Solstice, it's f**king Christmas!  Why do people have to ruin Christmas with their ignorant bull$hit!

Side Note - does that mean that little Johnny doesn't get gifts for Christmas because that is part of the "pagan" tradition? Or are you going to say the gifts represent the gifts from the Magi?  Because if that's the case you should wait until 1/6 (Three King's Day or the Epiphany).  I'm not trying to be an @$$hole...wait, this time I am.  People make me STABBY!!!!!

Oh and while we are at it Xmas (yes I know its a Wiki link but it makes sense) does not mean we are removing "Christ" from Christmas .  It is a shortened version of the word, not meant to be disrespectful. It was happening LOOOOONG before some crackhead in recent history decided to get pissy about it.  I can't put it any better than this response to someone who was butthurt by the word "Xmas": " 'X' is the Greek letter "Chi" which is the first letter of "Christos". You should probably be aware that the fish that's almost certainly on the back of your car "ΙΧΘΥΣ" is an acronym for "Ίησοῦς Χριστός, Θεοῦ Υἱός, Σωτήρ", which translated means "Jesus Christ, Son of God, Saviour" so the use of "X" in "Xmas" actually doesn't violate your sensitive beliefs" ~ Chris Hardwick.  Meaning, if people write xmas, they aren't being jerks.  If you want to write out Christmas go 'head.

My point is stop trying to make something out of nothing.  Stop trying to find evil in innocent things.  Stop being an @$$hole!  If you don't like the commercialism of Santa, fine...but don't ruin it for everyone else.  Be respectful of others just like you DEMAND them to be respectful of you.