Send help - I've turned into a popsicle

So  Mother Nature decided we didn't have enough with the Snow and Ice a few weeks ago.  So she sent us a "Winter Weather Event".  Oooo sounds fun, who is headlining?

Right, so NOT fun.  Yo, I live in the DEEP SOUTH!  DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP South.  It is 28 f**king degrees outside and the sun is out.   But wait there's more.  There is a "windchill".  Usually that takes off a few degrees...

A few...a few... the "windchill" makes it feel like 18 in the sun....12 in the shade.  Pardon me...WHAT?!?!!?  Am I in the North...?  Where's the Nightwatch...are the Whitewalkers coming?

Yea yea yea it is WAY colder "up north" but that doesn't make my little Summer Loving self any happier!  I let the pups out to potty and there was steam.  Both looked confused and a bit concerned.  "Mom...MOM!  My butt is smoking...something has gone horribly wrong!"

So yea we took precautions.  I don't care what some people say.  You leave a faucet dripping...just dripping.  If you don't you may have an issue.  "But that decreases water pressure".  You know what else decreases water pressure...?  A BUSTED F**KING PIPE.  Leave a drip, wrap your exposed outside pipes and faucets, let the pets in, protect the plants...and just stay home if you can!

Then I saw this:

Link

I already have on  fleece leggings, knee high thick @$$ socks, two shirts, a furry vest thing, a scarf, and a hat...I AM INSIDE!!! With the heater on....

When I went outside I had on that plus a leather jacket, leather boots, and leather gloves.  Its supposed to get colder tonight to tomorrow...

Next time I complain about the heat....someone slap me because this below freezing $hit....