..that is the question rolling through my head right now....
Happy New Year!
Okay so why am I not speaking ;) Hmmm lets see. As you know I am in a pretty serious with younger guy. Both our families are planning our wedding and have been for a few months now ;) No pressure right...? Anyways the subject definitely has come up and it doesn't scare me in the least or him from what I can tell. He is always saying things about when we get married and when we have kids and in the future etc etc etc. So he seems to see what me and everyone else does which is good. His mom thought for sure he was giving me a ring for Christmas which I knew was not happening but she was sad that it didn't, good lord. I mean we both seem to want it but are taking it slow for obvious reasons (we both got burned pretty bad :P).
Anyways the other day he said something that made me kinda sad. We were hanging out at his best friends house waiting for dinner. His friend is a computer guru and just got a new touch screen for his kitchen so he can look up stuff while he's cooking...I was jealous ;). Anyways of course my guy was playing with the new computer...it was a touch screen so I get it , haha. Well I was in the bathroom and his friends wife was feeding their little girl (she's 1.5 years....soooo CUTE!). Well when I came out the wife was like "Um do you know what he was looking at over there?" I was like Huh...? Who.. what...? And my guy was like *in an shy-ish voice* "I just wanted her to see that you can get nice stuff for less money if you are smart..." He was looking at rings....which caught me off guard but then he said something that kinda stung... He said "Geez *friends wife* I am being smart this time, it will be at least two years before I think about proposing." She looked at me and asked how long we were together...I said almost 10 months. She said "Really...? That's it?! I swore you'd been around much longer... I guess yáll just seem so comfortable with each other... *averting her attention to my guy* still 2 years.... REALLY?! You are weird." His friend looked confused as well.
Honestly I understand....I am in NO WAY expecting or wanting a ring right now. It just stung to know that even though our relationship is TOTALLY different that his ex fiance and him he thinks the reason they didn't work is because they got engaged after a year of dating. He has made that comment before, I am not assuming anything. But its like he thinks if we move quick like that we will follow that same path. My ex an I were together for 3 years when he said "hey lets get married" and we split 7 months later ... that does not mean I think the same will happen to us. But I never said a thing, I just rolled over it and started talking to Friends Wife again while she eyed my guy from a distance burning a hole in the back of his head, haha. I think she might like me ;). I guess that sting I felt was the same sting I felt before. The doing things because you think your supposed to do it that way instead of because you want to. Does that make any sense?! I guess I just hate being punished because some other chick effed up...its almost as bad as not getting what I want/need because no one else ever taught the person that you should/shouldn't do/say that (I'm talking about me being the 'learning curve' for my ex...it SUCKED).
So I don't know what to do. I want to be like relax dude and just go with the flow. Don't put time lines they just make things complicated. But I don't want him to think I am pressuring for the next step because I really think that if he gave me The Ring tomorrow I would pass out on the floor in fear. Okay maybe not that bad but it would be TOTALLY unexpected and a little too fast for me, there would be definite hyperventilation. I know bad bad bad but I guess I am a little guarded still too.
Sooooooooo I don't think I will do/say anything...unless it comes up again...then I may try to carefully get my point across...easier said than done... maybe silence is better :P
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