Anybody got a room available for a few nights?

So I am laying on the couch and someone sneezed behind me!!!!!!!

The issue, gross. 

But the worse issue....NO ONE WAS THERE!

Husband is in the back playing a video game and both pups are sound asleep on top of me.  

I am watching reruns of Castle vegging out after a rough day and there was a very loud, very distinct Dad Sneeze!!!!!!!!!!!

I jumped, the dogs jumped, and then I got the heebie jeebies.

There is no door or window behind me so it wasn't outside.  And the back patio is on the other side of the wall. 

We are the only humans in the house.

The animals are all accounted for and sleeping.

Sooooo either Casper has allergies or the invisible man was just passing through.  

Either way, I think I need a room for the night. 

It's like getting all natural organic taffy stuck in your teeth

There is nothing worse that your dog coming inside chewing.  What the hell did you get into?!?!?  

Lil bit looked like she was chewing a wad of gum

I didn't want her to swallow it because 1. What is it? and 2. WHAT IS IT!?!!??!

So I did the only thing I could.  I reached in her mouth and pulled it out.  

Oh no it looks like chocolate

Wait...wait....

My brain registered what I was seeing.  I pulled a frozen turd out of my dogs mouth....WITH MY BARE HAND.

In a panic I screamed and flung it across the room. It hit the wall and slide down.

I'm staring at slimy poop on my hand, saying OMG OMG OMG meanwhile lil bit is still chewing!!!

I ran to scald a layer off my hand then retrieved the doggy toothbrush and toothpaste.

I began the task of brushing her teeth. It was going fine until I pulled the brush out...COVERED IN $HIT!

Sterile rinse, repeat.  I thought we were done when she shook her head. And shot the last little piece of slimy Cr@p out of her mouth.  It was like slow motion.  Time froze.  Until...

...it landed on my neck!!!  

I almost threw up.  Hubs was gagging.  I was gagging.  She was happy as a clam.

So I've cleaned myself, the toothbrush, and the wall.  

I am slightly traumatized and all she wants to do is give me kisses. 

Most of the time she doesn't go outside looking for snacks.  But for some God only knows reason she can't help herself in the winter.

The colder, the better.  

Creepy kids are the worst!

Seriously, give me any kind of scary movie but throw in a creepy kid and the scare factor jumps 100%.  Well and clowns...but that is a given

As a kid I had a few recurring dreams/nightmares.  I never talked about them because...they were weird and made no sense.  I mean lots of kids/people that have these...I think.  Obviously it's been quite a few years but I think I had these so many times I still recall most of it. 

Dream 1:

I was in a crib I think but I wasn't a baby, I could stand up.  There wasn't a lot of light in my room but I could see, maybe a nightlight.  I felt extremely scared and like I was being watched.  You know that hair on the neck feeling?  That was happening.  I turned around to look at the wall and saw these wooden zoo animals hanging.  There was a lion, giraffe, elephant, and tiger.  Something about them was scaring me.  As I stared at them they started moving, like someone was adjusting them on the nail they were hanging on.  The more scared I got the more they moved.  I couldn't breath, I couldn't move, I was absolutely petrified.  As they were moving faster and faster I swore their eyes were glowing and they suddenly had sharp teeth.  The giraffe came flying off the wall at me and I woke up.  Everytime.  Every.single.time.  That's how it ended.  I had this dream for years!  This made no sense, I've never had a zoo themed room...

Dream 2:

I am in my toddler bed sleeping.  I felt someone nudge me to wake me up.  When I opened my eyes I didn't see anything.  I didn't like the dark so my CREEPY AF clown lamp is on but the lowest level so it's dim but I can see around the room.  I looked around but since I didn't see anything so I closed my eyes.  I heard music coming from the living room.  I got up to go see thinking it was my parents.  I remember looking down and seeing I was in one of my FAVORITE rainbow bright nightgowns that I wore as much as possible, I had a pinkish red one and a light blue one.  They had a ruffle around the bottom. As I started to walk down the pitch black hallway I realize there is no light in the living room, just the light from the street lamp.  I felt...I felt like I was in a group of people.  Like you know that feeling of being in a crowd but not like claustrophobic.  I knew I was alone in my house.  I could feel the worn carpet under my feet and smell the stale smoke (gotta love the 80's).  That's when I noticed the gorillas.  There was a Family (?) of gorillas in the living room.  Some were adults and some were "kids" but they all stood on two legs.  I remember talking to them but I don't know what about.  And I remember playing.  Mainly playing ring around the rosie.  Over and over we would skip around in a circle and then "all fall down", laughing and giggling.  We would play until I was exhausted.  Then I would wake up in the morning in my room.  Again, I had this dream for YEARS!

Flash forward to the now times.  I am telling my mom about some spooky movie I watched.  I said something about creepy kids and how I just can't imagine having one of those creepy "I see dead people" kids.  I mean I would figure it out because I'm not an @$$hole and can't blame a child for what's happening to them but it would still be creepy.  

As I make these comments my MOTHER says, well now you know how I felt.  

She says "when you were little you scared the ever loving $hit out of me regularly."

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She says "well when you were very young, still in your crib, you would wake up just screeching.  Not crying, but absolutely screaming in terror.  I would walk in and you would be standing in your crib pointing at these wooden animal figures we used to have on your wall."

"You were inconsolable until I took you out of the room.  Then for a few nights I couldn't put you back in there, you would just scream.  Once I'd get you to go back same thing would happen.  One night I found the tiger in your crib.  You couldn't have pulled it down, it was up too high.  I would ask you what's wrong, what happened, and you would cry and cry and say they were dancing.  You really seemed to hate the giraffe and tiger.  The look of fear broke our hearts so we took down all of the zoo animals and re-did your room in rainbows and clouds. After that you didn't scream...as much"

I had zoo animals in my room???  I don't remember this!!!! 

"Of course you don't you were still very young."  

**proceed to tell her about my recurring dream**  Wait....as much....?!?!

"Well, yes as much.  NOLA Gurl, you were always talking to...someone in your room.  From very little until maybe 6 or 7.  Of course we just thought imaginary friend or maybe the dog.  But some nights.  Well lets just say things got weird sometimes.  On more than one occasion one of us would wake up to you singing.  You weren't in your room, so we would go investigate.  We would find you in the living room all alone playing ring around the rosie."

"It was baffling.  We never taught you that song and you didn't go to daycare or school yet.  We thought maybe a neighborhood kid but when I asked you, you just shrugged.  Everytime one of us found you I would ask why you were playing all alone and you would say 'I'm not mommy, I'm playing with the gorillas'. And I would try not to freak out as I carried you back to bed.  Your dad tried not to let it show but he was definitely unnerved.  We were worried you would get hurt so we started putting a gate at your doorway, but somehow you would get out without knocking the gate down.  This went on for many years and then one day it just stopped."

**proceed to tell her about my recurring dream** 

I am so sorry mom & dad, I was the creepy kid!!! I can't imagine how f**ked up that was......

So what do you think?  Either I was having some intense dreams and sleep walking/playing or maybe something was communicating with me.  I mean wall decor ended up in my crib and I played with "gorillas" in my living room. Could they have been shadow people...?  Or some crazy imagination...Who knows.  Apparently other things happened but we didn't get to discuss those.  

So there you have it, I was the creepy kid, scaring the bejesus out of my parents.  

I don't want to hear your noise pollution!

Pet Peeve...people watching videos/listening to music in public/while with other people WITHOUT HEADPHONES!

Look I like me a good Tik Tok video or Reel or whatever but if I am in the presence of others and not sharing what I am looking at, I have my earbuds in! (or wait til later)

It drives me BONKERS when people just blast whatever is on their phone at top volume.  No lie, I was on a flight recently and someone behind us was watching some TV show, complete with laugh track, without headphones.  It was clearly annoying everyone around her so the flight attendant asked her to please use headphones.  She said she didn't have any so the attendant said "then please lower the volume or turn it off".  STG she responded "But it's family friendly! What's the big deal?"  

Come on!  Read, look at memes, take a nap, BORROW SOME HEADPHONES!  I don't want to hear what you are listening to while on a long flight!  Even the 8 year old next to me had the kindness to use his headphones!

With that said, if you are at a family function, sitting in the family room, with a bunch of family/friends.....get off the phone for god's sake!  That's rude, right?!?   Am I the only one annoyed by that?!?  I know I'm getting older but even my young nieces/nephews wouldn't sit on their devices blaring videos while everyone else is talking or watching a TV Show or Movie.  

I just don't get it.  Like I'll watch a video here and there but its like one, low volume and I'm usually about to share it with whomever.  

I mean I guess it's "rude" to sit in a full room with headphones on but I'd rather that than Jack @$$ and the gang at full volume. 

That is clearly an Alien!!!

Okay I deal with all types of bugs.  99% of them really don't bother me.  I mean they startle me but I am not "frightened" of them.  Some still give me the heebie jeebies!

Since we haven't been living in our house while it was damaged and now being repaired we have to be mindful of what may move in while we are gone. 

After the holidays we had a lot of leftover Turkey.  I don't like to waste food so I decided after our fill of Sandwiches and salads, it was time for Gumbo.  I needed my gumbo pot.  There is a pot where we are staying but its not my gumbo pot...and if you know anything about making gumbo...you make it in your gumbo pot not just some rando pot haha. 

When I pulled it out I saw something moving INSIDE the pot.  1st thought, bug who shall not be named.  

Then I saw the culprit frantically scrambling around the inside. 

Uuuuuggggghhhhh what even are Silverfish?!?! *blech*  And this one was HUGE!!! Usually they are smallish but this mo fo was over an inch long.  *shudder*

I'm telling you....Aliens!

You can't tell me that doesn't look like a f**king Silverfish?!!?!?

So if you randomly start hearing "DELETE! DELETE!", remember I tried to warn you.

We've got a bleeder!

You know how they say animals are mirrors of their owners?  Whether its in looks or personality I can see it and I am sure people see it with me and my fur babies.  

Mine just happen to also have my propensity for clumsiness!  Let me set the scene. It's a lovely FREEZING morning.  The pups are in rare form because it's cold outside.  Neither like to be cold so they both have on sweaters. 

Of course they are not listening.  So there I am still half dying, COLD, and annoyed.  As I was standing in the doorway in my PJs hoarsely yelling for them I see a tiny shadow out of the corner of my eye.  

It took off running and the pups were in hot pursuit.  I yelled and Little Bit stopped and went inside.  Speedy on the other hand had tunnel vision and chased it into some bushes.

He was fine, sniffing around the fence trying to see where it went through.  

I yelled his name again and he turned to come and then let out the most horrifying screech but then came trotting inside.  

So I started to check him to make sure he was okay when I saw a drop of blood.  But he took off running.   I started to chase him and realized he was leaving a trail of blood droplets  through the house.

He kept worming away from me.  I finally stopped him and managed to find the source.  He had a teeny tiny tear in his ear.

The issue is ITS HIS EAR.  They are SUPER Veiny.  So it's an itty bitty cut but bleeds like crazy.  

Can you imagine trying to hold a 75lb bleeding dog still long enough to stop the bleeding?!?!?!  Also, he is a dog.  Do you know what dogs do when their ears feel "weird"?

When I say my house looked like a murder scene I am not exaggerating!!!  There was blood all over him, the floor, some walls, me, and the hubs. 

We finally got it to stop bleeding and cleaned up the mess.  Then he shook again.

Blood on the TV, floor, my laptop, and rug.

Everytime we got it to stop he'd shake. 

He finally calmed down and it stopped bleeding.  So all day every time he moved I stalked him to keep him from shaking his head.  I was a frazzled mess of nerves by the end of the day.  

For 7 hours no bleeding...SEVEN HOURS.  Then hubs came home and said outside but then got distracted and wasn't watching him.  He shook his head.  It started bleeding again.

He went buy that anti bleeding powder and liquid bandage and an ear wrap.  Poor dog.  

We tried just the powder at first but he kept shaking it and bleeding again.  We got it to stop and I attacked him with liquid bandaid.  But he still kept wanting to shake it.

So he got the ear wrap....

He HATES me!  But at least I can sleep knowing he won't shake his head and bleed out while I am zonked out.

PS I did call the Vet...they told us what to do and said they couldn't do more than that since it was such a tiny cut.  

PPS One of the bushes had thorns *ahhhhhhhh*

Is the plague over yet?

No, no it isn't!  You know how I know?!!?!  Because as careful as I have been, masks, vaccine, no big crowds.... I got it!!!!!!  And it wasn't because of my carelessness.  Nooooooo.

I, being responsible, got tested before Christmas because I had been exposed at work the week before.  I was negative.  But one of my lovely anti-pandemic (as in it is a scare tactic created by the Government and isn't real) family members came to a gathering KNOWING they had been exposed.  They tested +.  

Hubs started feeling bad first, then two days later me.  I was just going to quarantine and take it easy.  But my experience involved a STABBING headache.  Not just sinus pressure, a literal sporadic Ice Pick stabbing feeling behind my ear.  It got so bad I did a tele-doc appointment.  She wouldn't give me any Rxs without getting tested so I did and SHOCKING, it was +.  I ended up with multiple Rxs because well I was pretty sick at this point.  

Honestly the worst part for me was the Sinus Pressure.  It was SOOOOOO bad, I couldn't sleep.  Plus I had fever for 3 days.  I was fried!  Turns out the stabbing pain was probably something called Occipital Neuralgia.   And I can tell you with 100% certainty I would not wish it on my worst enemy.  I thought my brain was coming out of my ear. 

Thankfully the worst of it only lasted 5 days.  I'm still wonky, tired, and not 100% but it could have been 1000 times worse.  People who keep saying "Covid is just like a bad cold" as an excuse to be careless are PISSING ME OFF.  Because yes, that is a decent description but why the f**k would you want to get a really bad cold...KNOWINGLY?!!?!  

And honestly while I've had bad colds/Flus/sinus infections, this was different.  I am mostly recovered but I am still exhausted.  And I don't regret getting vaccinated.  Because I can't imagine how AWFUL it would have been had I not been vaccinated.  I know people not vaccinated and they got it way worse than me, like long lingering symptoms.  I'm not here to judge you if you don't want the vaccine I am just saying my experience.  I just really want to NEVER experience that again.  

Each day is better so hopefully that continues!