It's like getting all natural organic taffy stuck in your teeth

There is nothing worse that your dog coming inside chewing.  What the hell did you get into?!?!?  

Lil bit looked like she was chewing a wad of gum

I didn't want her to swallow it because 1. What is it? and 2. WHAT IS IT!?!!??!

So I did the only thing I could.  I reached in her mouth and pulled it out.  

Oh no it looks like chocolate

Wait...wait....

My brain registered what I was seeing.  I pulled a frozen turd out of my dogs mouth....WITH MY BARE HAND.

In a panic I screamed and flung it across the room. It hit the wall and slide down.

I'm staring at slimy poop on my hand, saying OMG OMG OMG meanwhile lil bit is still chewing!!!

I ran to scald a layer off my hand then retrieved the doggy toothbrush and toothpaste.

I began the task of brushing her teeth. It was going fine until I pulled the brush out...COVERED IN $HIT!

Sterile rinse, repeat.  I thought we were done when she shook her head. And shot the last little piece of slimy Cr@p out of her mouth.  It was like slow motion.  Time froze.  Until...

...it landed on my neck!!!  

I almost threw up.  Hubs was gagging.  I was gagging.  She was happy as a clam.

So I've cleaned myself, the toothbrush, and the wall.  

I am slightly traumatized and all she wants to do is give me kisses. 

Most of the time she doesn't go outside looking for snacks.  But for some God only knows reason she can't help herself in the winter.

The colder, the better.