You are listening to hold music and all you can picture is Hannibal Lector creating some amazing looking dish and then feeling nausea because you know he eats people parts...and then laughing at yourself because its just classical music, why are you thinking about this?!? Is it time for lunch yet? Oh goodness deary, what is wrong with me???
In other news while waiting for a call back I watched this link and now I am tearing up a bit and feel incredibly ridiculous! Stupid fan vids bringing out stupid feelings for a stupid show....*sniffle*
Oh, also I am convinced that one of two things happened yesterday.
1. I was abducted by aliens
2. Lightening struck so close to me that is now causing me health weirdness
Reason being is I've suddenly developed a nose bleed problem. I don't ever get these and when I do, I am ill and its RARE. But I've had 3 instances since last night. THREE! So I started thinking crap I am dying. But then I was like no, I don't feel bad. OMG the aliens took me and stuck a probe in my nose. Or something. Ya know "Because...Aliens" ...I dunno.
The 2nd reason actually makes more sense to me. I was driving home in an insane rainstorm and lightening was streaking through the sky. As I exited the interstate there was a blinding light and a crash so close it rattled my teeth and almost knocked me off the road. So I am wondering if being that close in proximity to lightening messed up something in me. Oooo, oooo, ooooo maybe I'll develop super powers! I am getting nose bleeds because my brain is trying to compensate for my new telekinetic ability. I should see if I can pick up a car with my brain later...or should I start smaller, like a coffee mug or a tissue? Who knows what could happen!?! I could kill you with my brain. I mean I am not sure why that would happen but it seems logical to me.
More than likely I have some dry something or another going on and well I am just a little bit of an oddball when it comes to strange happenings in the health department. Or I am in fact dying...good bye cruel world *dramatic sigh*.
Wow this post went all over the place...maybe the lightening/aliens also added a bit of ADD. . .
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
*possibly NSFW* Ever Get Blindsided by a Seemingly Safe Website
Ok I am not talking about Tumblr. Lord knows that site is full of NSFW content in ALL tags. Not even Facebook because sometimes friends post inappropriate content. I am actually talking about....Pinterest.
I was on my break...scrolling through the Geek Board while waiting for a phone call. I scroll that tag when I'm bored because sometimes its really fascinating. Then there are days like today where its not, it made me very grateful that I was alone!
I have a love of all things Sci-Fi and then some so if I see my fav show mentioned I usually take a look. I was scrolling through, enjoying some hypothesis on where Gallifrey actually is and something about Sherlock and John. Not really sure because out of the blue there was a giant clear dildo on my screen with a teeny tiny blue TARDIS inside near the tip. What in the ever loving...am I in a porn board??? It was linked to a blog post about DW sex toys. I'm sorry...what?!!? I mean I know various sex toys exist but OMG why is this on Pinterest??!?!! Isn't Pinterest about like, I dunno, not this! I am scarred for life. I love me some DW but what...no...why...ahhhhh...I guess this is one of those "not for me" products.
I'm not judging. Seriously to each his own. I mean I know an acquaintance of mine has a light saber looking thing. It lights up!!! I think its more for novelty purposes but if that's how she gets her rocks off whatever, I don't care. It just shocked me to see something NSFW on there. I guess if it was me, I would Pin it into one of those private boards they give you. Or not use the giant dildo as the Pinned photo! I briefly glimpsed the link to put it here and saw an innocent pic of Rory...use that one!
I was on my break...scrolling through the Geek Board while waiting for a phone call. I scroll that tag when I'm bored because sometimes its really fascinating. Then there are days like today where its not, it made me very grateful that I was alone!
I have a love of all things Sci-Fi and then some so if I see my fav show mentioned I usually take a look. I was scrolling through, enjoying some hypothesis on where Gallifrey actually is and something about Sherlock and John. Not really sure because out of the blue there was a giant clear dildo on my screen with a teeny tiny blue TARDIS inside near the tip. What in the ever loving...am I in a porn board??? It was linked to a blog post about DW sex toys. I'm sorry...what?!!? I mean I know various sex toys exist but OMG why is this on Pinterest??!?!! Isn't Pinterest about like, I dunno, not this! I am scarred for life. I love me some DW but what...no...why...ahhhhh...I guess this is one of those "not for me" products.
I'm not judging. Seriously to each his own. I mean I know an acquaintance of mine has a light saber looking thing. It lights up!!! I think its more for novelty purposes but if that's how she gets her rocks off whatever, I don't care. It just shocked me to see something NSFW on there. I guess if it was me, I would Pin it into one of those private boards they give you. Or not use the giant dildo as the Pinned photo! I briefly glimpsed the link to put it here and saw an innocent pic of Rory...use that one!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Its like a secret society thats not really a secret!
So I have quite a varied style. I go from office professional to trendy chic to t-shirt and jeans/shorts. It kind of depends on my mood, that and where I am going. When I go grocery shopping I tend to really not care what I look like. There is no makeup, hair in a ponytail or bun or in a hat, sometimes there are even yoga pants instead of say jeans or shorts *gasp*. I mean there are times when I get home from the store and I am like, "hmmmm, maybe I should have tried a little today."
Well I went to the store recently and I wore one of my many Woot Shirts. These shirts vary from fandom to just plain geeky to "OMG, no one gets my twisted sense of humor". This one happened to be Doctor Who themed. Well its a fandom collision I guess because it features the DeLorean crashing into the TARDIS. Anyway, I was on a mission to get my shopping done as quickly as possible. I had to go to 4 stores and I wanted get home to see a specific soccer match. So I was not really paying attention when this semi attractive guy said something to me. My brain registered someone was speaking to me but I was trying to decide if I wanted russet potatoes or red potatoes for my potato dish. I looked up and he was smiling at me and I said "huh?" He repeated "I like your shirt". I didn't even remember what I put on...it was one of my "I really should have tried" days. When I saw it was a Whovian shirt, I smiled huge and said thanks! Okay, I am married so to me the conversation was over and I started to veer back to my potato decision. When he spoke again:
Him: What school do you go to?
Me: Wha..Oh, yea I'm not in college.
Him: ...... *staring*
Me:....what?
Him: *big smile* I mean high school
Me: *hysterical laughter* yea I'm not there either and haven't been for Ooooohhhh...long enough
Him:.... *raised eyebrow*
Me: *eye roll, refocusing on my potatoes* I'm finished high school and college and grad school...
Then I smiled walked away.
I was laughing inside...did he really think I was in HS...did I get hit on by a high schooler....or was he a creeper hitting on a possible high schooler. Hmmmm the world will never know. He didn't look like a high schooler...maybe college-ish. Actually he looked older then that but who knows I clearly don't look my age.
At my next location another person commented on my shirt and then smiled, pointed and winked at me every time he saw me. He was closer to my age (I assume), it was fairly amusing.
The thing is I liked it. I mean not getting hit on, well that was okay I guess, but not that. I loved that other people knew what my shirt was because no one I know watches the show. I mean some have heard of it but they tend to look at me like a weirdo when I talk about it. Usually saying very endearingly "Ooo Girl, let that nerd flag fly!".
I guess it just makes me happy that there are other Whovians out there, in my area :)
Well I went to the store recently and I wore one of my many Woot Shirts. These shirts vary from fandom to just plain geeky to "OMG, no one gets my twisted sense of humor". This one happened to be Doctor Who themed. Well its a fandom collision I guess because it features the DeLorean crashing into the TARDIS. Anyway, I was on a mission to get my shopping done as quickly as possible. I had to go to 4 stores and I wanted get home to see a specific soccer match. So I was not really paying attention when this semi attractive guy said something to me. My brain registered someone was speaking to me but I was trying to decide if I wanted russet potatoes or red potatoes for my potato dish. I looked up and he was smiling at me and I said "huh?" He repeated "I like your shirt". I didn't even remember what I put on...it was one of my "I really should have tried" days. When I saw it was a Whovian shirt, I smiled huge and said thanks! Okay, I am married so to me the conversation was over and I started to veer back to my potato decision. When he spoke again:
Him: What school do you go to?
Me: Wha..Oh, yea I'm not in college.
Him: ...... *staring*
Me:....what?
Him: *big smile* I mean high school
Me: *hysterical laughter* yea I'm not there either and haven't been for Ooooohhhh...long enough
Him:.... *raised eyebrow*
Me: *eye roll, refocusing on my potatoes* I'm finished high school and college and grad school...
Then I smiled walked away.
I was laughing inside...did he really think I was in HS...did I get hit on by a high schooler....or was he a creeper hitting on a possible high schooler. Hmmmm the world will never know. He didn't look like a high schooler...maybe college-ish. Actually he looked older then that but who knows I clearly don't look my age.
At my next location another person commented on my shirt and then smiled, pointed and winked at me every time he saw me. He was closer to my age (I assume), it was fairly amusing.
The thing is I liked it. I mean not getting hit on, well that was okay I guess, but not that. I loved that other people knew what my shirt was because no one I know watches the show. I mean some have heard of it but they tend to look at me like a weirdo when I talk about it. Usually saying very endearingly "Ooo Girl, let that nerd flag fly!".
I guess it just makes me happy that there are other Whovians out there, in my area :)
Friday, June 20, 2014
***Warning*** Tinted Tail Lights Suck!!!
Can someone tell me the purpose of tinted tail lights?!?!?! Seriously what is the point of them?
Are we concerned about UV exposure to our little warning lights?
Are your tail lights going to get a sunburn?
Well I have news for you...1) They are already red and 2) I am fairly certain they cannot get a sunburn!
You are just a Douche Nozzle! Because of your tinted tail lights I almost died...at the very least I had the beginnings of a heart attack.
In case you weren't aware tint tends to DARKEN things. A sort of blocking of the light. In normal use on WINDOWS it keeps the interior of your vehicle cooler when sitting out in the baking sun because it absorbs or reflects the light. Also, you can't really see INTO the vehicle, did you hear that...you can't really see THROUGH it. When applied to tail lights it causes other driver on the road to develop a spontaneous case of Tourette's and begin driving like they are playing Mario Kart.
Let me ask you a question...if you cannot see into a car window with tint, what makes you think I can see your brake lights when they are TINTED?!?!? I am not a tailgater. I travel a safe distance from other vehicles on the road. But when you are going 70 MPH and cannot see someones brake lights until you are on top of them, stopping is quite difficult! Of course I am probably one of the only drivers in Louisiana that travels a safe distance so when I slam on my brakes to avoid running through your tailgate it puts me at a greater risk at being run over by the 4x4 Dually behind me. Thankfully said Dually had the sense to swerve onto the shoulder just as I came to a stop. But the cars behind us looked like they were doing a synchronized driving routine as they darted in various directions to avoid hitting any of us. I seriously thought this is going to suck balls but luckily no one wrecked. The funny thing is I am fairly certain Douche Nozzle had no idea he was the cause of all this ruckus.
Traffic started moving again and tinted tail lights decided he needed to get over to exit, so he put on his blinker. Under normal circumstances this would have alerted the driver in right lane that he indeed needed to get over but since he has sun protection on his tail lights the driver next to me couldn't see the blinker. Honestly I barely saw it. I only noticed because I was looking closely since I almost hit him. So Sir Douche started getting over not realizing the other driver didn't know he wanted to which caused another brake slamming session. I was able to swerve to the left to avoid hitting him yet again and blew past him. I was just thankful to be away from that road hazard.
So I seriously want to know...what is the point of the tinted tail lights? Aside from making driving more interesting for those around you.
Are we concerned about UV exposure to our little warning lights?
Are your tail lights going to get a sunburn?
Well I have news for you...1) They are already red and 2) I am fairly certain they cannot get a sunburn!
You are just a Douche Nozzle! Because of your tinted tail lights I almost died...at the very least I had the beginnings of a heart attack.
In case you weren't aware tint tends to DARKEN things. A sort of blocking of the light. In normal use on WINDOWS it keeps the interior of your vehicle cooler when sitting out in the baking sun because it absorbs or reflects the light. Also, you can't really see INTO the vehicle, did you hear that...you can't really see THROUGH it. When applied to tail lights it causes other driver on the road to develop a spontaneous case of Tourette's and begin driving like they are playing Mario Kart.
Let me ask you a question...if you cannot see into a car window with tint, what makes you think I can see your brake lights when they are TINTED?!?!? I am not a tailgater. I travel a safe distance from other vehicles on the road. But when you are going 70 MPH and cannot see someones brake lights until you are on top of them, stopping is quite difficult! Of course I am probably one of the only drivers in Louisiana that travels a safe distance so when I slam on my brakes to avoid running through your tailgate it puts me at a greater risk at being run over by the 4x4 Dually behind me. Thankfully said Dually had the sense to swerve onto the shoulder just as I came to a stop. But the cars behind us looked like they were doing a synchronized driving routine as they darted in various directions to avoid hitting any of us. I seriously thought this is going to suck balls but luckily no one wrecked. The funny thing is I am fairly certain Douche Nozzle had no idea he was the cause of all this ruckus.
Traffic started moving again and tinted tail lights decided he needed to get over to exit, so he put on his blinker. Under normal circumstances this would have alerted the driver in right lane that he indeed needed to get over but since he has sun protection on his tail lights the driver next to me couldn't see the blinker. Honestly I barely saw it. I only noticed because I was looking closely since I almost hit him. So Sir Douche started getting over not realizing the other driver didn't know he wanted to which caused another brake slamming session. I was able to swerve to the left to avoid hitting him yet again and blew past him. I was just thankful to be away from that road hazard.
So I seriously want to know...what is the point of the tinted tail lights? Aside from making driving more interesting for those around you.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
I had a dream about Hannibal (like Dr. Lecter)
Yes I watch the show but it ended weeks ago. Granted I watched the season finale more recently but it was still well over a week ago. It was such an odd dream. He kept changing. When we were talking about psychology (apparently I was a psychologist) or crimes he looked like the guy from the TV Show. But when it was more friendly/intimate he looked like my husband. WTF?!?
It was totally the plot of the show too. People suspected him of being a murderer (I don't think cannibal, maybe though) but he was elusive. Some people loved him and others wanted to bring him down. I was TWO people. I was me but as a Doctor Lady. And I was Will Graham...I mean people called me something else but that was the character. So I was jumping between parts. I've never had a dream like that before. I was both a male and a female (not at the same time). It was sooooooo odd!
So when I was me as the Doctor lady, I was in love with Hannibal. I am a WEIRDO! But when we would have conversations or get close he would look like my husband. Then when I would change into Will, he would look like the actor from TV. OMG my subconscious is strange! Both of my personalities were trying to reveal who he really was. The lady was blinded by love but knew she had to trick him into showing his true colors and Will was just a manipulative lil shit. So the Doctor me was using some sort of hypnosis to control him. I remember thinking "I can't believe I'm doing this. I hope he forgives me". What?!? Why would I want a crazy person's forgiveness?!? Then things would happen and I'd be like "there is no way he's a killer!" But I believe I was thinking that because he looked like my significant other who is a genuinely good person. Then I'd switch to Will and use Doctor Lady's hypnosis to manipulate him. I just really wanted to bring him down. At these points he'd look like Hannibal. I have no idea how my brain kept track of all this switching but it did and it kind of made sense (creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy).
Hannibal caught on to the deception and got insanely aggressive with Lady Doctor but wouldn't hurt her/me. Okay maybe he'd hurt me but not kill. And I wasn't liking the aggression but he was. Okay, this is bordering on 50 Shades of Grey type stuff and I am not exactly in to that...at all! On the other hand he was trying really hard to kill Will/me. It was jumping quickly between my two personae. He would change looks every time my perspective changed. It was dizzying! This is around the point where he stopped changing fully. It was more like a blend of the two of them looking less and less like my sig other. The last piece I remember I was terrified. I was being picked up by the hips (as the Doctor Lady) and slammed against the wall. This time he didn't look like the hubs at all...he looked like the crazy cannibal from TV, covered in blood. It could have been seen as sexual except the whole blood thing and I was scared out of my mind so my only thought was "crap".
I wish I was a professional dream analyzer because this one is just all kinds of messed up! Does this reveal something wacko about me??? Like do I have a dormant male persona just busting at the seams to get out!?!? Maybe the twin that I don't have is buried deep in my subconscious and my dreams are starting to let him out. Am I secretly scared of my husband??? I mean probably not. Of course not! I just need to stop watching/reading psychological thrillers because they are clearly starting to affect me.
It was totally the plot of the show too. People suspected him of being a murderer (I don't think cannibal, maybe though) but he was elusive. Some people loved him and others wanted to bring him down. I was TWO people. I was me but as a Doctor Lady. And I was Will Graham...I mean people called me something else but that was the character. So I was jumping between parts. I've never had a dream like that before. I was both a male and a female (not at the same time). It was sooooooo odd!
So when I was me as the Doctor lady, I was in love with Hannibal. I am a WEIRDO! But when we would have conversations or get close he would look like my husband. Then when I would change into Will, he would look like the actor from TV. OMG my subconscious is strange! Both of my personalities were trying to reveal who he really was. The lady was blinded by love but knew she had to trick him into showing his true colors and Will was just a manipulative lil shit. So the Doctor me was using some sort of hypnosis to control him. I remember thinking "I can't believe I'm doing this. I hope he forgives me". What?!? Why would I want a crazy person's forgiveness?!? Then things would happen and I'd be like "there is no way he's a killer!" But I believe I was thinking that because he looked like my significant other who is a genuinely good person. Then I'd switch to Will and use Doctor Lady's hypnosis to manipulate him. I just really wanted to bring him down. At these points he'd look like Hannibal. I have no idea how my brain kept track of all this switching but it did and it kind of made sense (creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy).
Hannibal caught on to the deception and got insanely aggressive with Lady Doctor but wouldn't hurt her/me. Okay maybe he'd hurt me but not kill. And I wasn't liking the aggression but he was. Okay, this is bordering on 50 Shades of Grey type stuff and I am not exactly in to that...at all! On the other hand he was trying really hard to kill Will/me. It was jumping quickly between my two personae. He would change looks every time my perspective changed. It was dizzying! This is around the point where he stopped changing fully. It was more like a blend of the two of them looking less and less like my sig other. The last piece I remember I was terrified. I was being picked up by the hips (as the Doctor Lady) and slammed against the wall. This time he didn't look like the hubs at all...he looked like the crazy cannibal from TV, covered in blood. It could have been seen as sexual except the whole blood thing and I was scared out of my mind so my only thought was "crap".
I wish I was a professional dream analyzer because this one is just all kinds of messed up! Does this reveal something wacko about me??? Like do I have a dormant male persona just busting at the seams to get out!?!? Maybe the twin that I don't have is buried deep in my subconscious and my dreams are starting to let him out. Am I secretly scared of my husband??? I mean probably not. Of course not! I just need to stop watching/reading psychological thrillers because they are clearly starting to affect me.
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
I am surrounded by negativity...this cannot be good for my health
I just cannot get away from it lately. I am a positive person most days. I mean we all have down in the dumps days but I try to stay positive.
I've always heard that if you surround yourself with positivity or negativity it will bleed into your life. I never really used to hold any truth to that but now I am not so sure. I find that the more upbeat and happy I try to be the more people try to bring me down. Not everyone in my life, like my close friends for example are extremely positive and supportive. This also goes for some of my family...notice I said SOME.
Then there are those persons that just never say anything positive. Examples:
Me: Hey, how's your day? *big smile*.
Others: Well I barely got any sleep last night because I had "tummy" problems. So I am exhausted. I spent the night in the bathroom. I think it was the *insert not so healthy food*. *insert lots of talk about gas*.
Me: Maybe you shouldn't eat....*death glare from other person* never mind.
Me: Good morning!
Others: I wish my dog was still alive. He really kept me company.
Me: So not a good morning
Me: Hey :)
Others: Did you hear so and so died? All my friends are dying. I could die. *sigh* Oh and _____ has terminal _______.
Me: I, uh, wow...sorry.
Me: Soooo how ya been???
Others: Did you know my house is falling apart? He left me in this house, its all his fault.
Me: *face palm*
Me: Hi, hey hey!
Others: This country is going down the shitter. This president is ______. The youth of today just don't understand how to survive. By the time you have kids we will be in another depression, I hope I am dead.
Me: Ummmm, sooooo....
I know its not that bad but this is ALL the time. Mind you the dog passed 2 years ago and the "he" left 28 years ago... I try to be supportive but I just can't deal sometimes. Me *happy, yay* them *doom, gloom* Honestly it makes me not want say anything anymore.
I feel like I am in that scene from Robin Hood: Men in Tights:
Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes...
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while...
[Remembers]
Blinkin: Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish.
[pause]
Blinkin: Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?
I think my favorite is when I talk about babies. Peeps are all yay, you want kinds. *immediately goes into story about their experience*. Which happens to be kind of awful most of the time. I mean I am trying to get pregnant and people are telling me how hard it is, how everyone has a touch of endometriosis which can cause problems, how many miscarriages they had, how I am "older", how if we've been trying for more than ____ months there is a problem, how we are clearly infertile because it hasn't happened yet, etc, etc, etc. I am assuming you mean well (I guess) but these are NOT what you should be telling someone who wants to get pregnant! You should be spouting positive things not the realm of impossibilities. Leave those diagnoses to DOCTORS!
But these negative things are starting to affect me. I find myself being VERY negative about the possibility of a little one. Like I have somewhat convinced myself that something is seriously wrong with my lady parts so I shouldn't expect to have a wee wittle one. That is sad. It is. I should not feel this way! But when it is beat into your head ALL THE TIME from well meaning people then you start to believe it. I get it...making a baby isn't easy but you could at least try to say something that wont send me into a fit of anxious tears as soon as I am alone. Also the constant barrage of "yo, why aren't you preggo yet???" isn't helping. I don't know. It is not for lack of trying! I don't mind being asked that is fine but when the same people ask over and over and over. I am like dude, working on it! That is a pet peeve. If you know someone who is "trying" do not keep asking them if they are...just wait. They told you they are trying...reminding them EVERY TIME you see them that they still aren't with child can be annoying.
I guess I am just tired of people trying to dull my sparkle. Its like the darkness in them sees how bright my light is shining and is determined to drown it into inky blackness. STAHP! I like being bright and lighthearted but it is becoming harder and harder to be that way. I've always been told misery loves company, I guess I never realized how true those words were. *sigh* I only wish those that are so miserable weren't persons I have to be around regularly.
I've always heard that if you surround yourself with positivity or negativity it will bleed into your life. I never really used to hold any truth to that but now I am not so sure. I find that the more upbeat and happy I try to be the more people try to bring me down. Not everyone in my life, like my close friends for example are extremely positive and supportive. This also goes for some of my family...notice I said SOME.
Then there are those persons that just never say anything positive. Examples:
Me: Hey, how's your day? *big smile*.
Others: Well I barely got any sleep last night because I had "tummy" problems. So I am exhausted. I spent the night in the bathroom. I think it was the *insert not so healthy food*. *insert lots of talk about gas*.
Me: Maybe you shouldn't eat....*death glare from other person* never mind.
Me: Good morning!
Others: I wish my dog was still alive. He really kept me company.
Me: So not a good morning
Me: Hey :)
Others: Did you hear so and so died? All my friends are dying. I could die. *sigh* Oh and _____ has terminal _______.
Me: I, uh, wow...sorry.
Me: Soooo how ya been???
Others: Did you know my house is falling apart? He left me in this house, its all his fault.
Me: *face palm*
Me: Hi, hey hey!
Others: This country is going down the shitter. This president is ______. The youth of today just don't understand how to survive. By the time you have kids we will be in another depression, I hope I am dead.
Me: Ummmm, sooooo....
I know its not that bad but this is ALL the time. Mind you the dog passed 2 years ago and the "he" left 28 years ago... I try to be supportive but I just can't deal sometimes. Me *happy, yay* them *doom, gloom* Honestly it makes me not want say anything anymore.
I feel like I am in that scene from Robin Hood: Men in Tights:
Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes...
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while...
[Remembers]
Blinkin: Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish.
[pause]
Blinkin: Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?
I think my favorite is when I talk about babies. Peeps are all yay, you want kinds. *immediately goes into story about their experience*. Which happens to be kind of awful most of the time. I mean I am trying to get pregnant and people are telling me how hard it is, how everyone has a touch of endometriosis which can cause problems, how many miscarriages they had, how I am "older", how if we've been trying for more than ____ months there is a problem, how we are clearly infertile because it hasn't happened yet, etc, etc, etc. I am assuming you mean well (I guess) but these are NOT what you should be telling someone who wants to get pregnant! You should be spouting positive things not the realm of impossibilities. Leave those diagnoses to DOCTORS!
But these negative things are starting to affect me. I find myself being VERY negative about the possibility of a little one. Like I have somewhat convinced myself that something is seriously wrong with my lady parts so I shouldn't expect to have a wee wittle one. That is sad. It is. I should not feel this way! But when it is beat into your head ALL THE TIME from well meaning people then you start to believe it. I get it...making a baby isn't easy but you could at least try to say something that wont send me into a fit of anxious tears as soon as I am alone. Also the constant barrage of "yo, why aren't you preggo yet???" isn't helping. I don't know. It is not for lack of trying! I don't mind being asked that is fine but when the same people ask over and over and over. I am like dude, working on it! That is a pet peeve. If you know someone who is "trying" do not keep asking them if they are...just wait. They told you they are trying...reminding them EVERY TIME you see them that they still aren't with child can be annoying.
I guess I am just tired of people trying to dull my sparkle. Its like the darkness in them sees how bright my light is shining and is determined to drown it into inky blackness. STAHP! I like being bright and lighthearted but it is becoming harder and harder to be that way. I've always been told misery loves company, I guess I never realized how true those words were. *sigh* I only wish those that are so miserable weren't persons I have to be around regularly.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Alyssa Lies - A Song
Why...just why would you write a song about this?!?! I had my Pandora on shuffle and didn't realize after jamming to "We Danced Anyway" I would be sobbing at my desk! Look, I love me some country music but this song I just heard ripped my heart out, roasted it on an open flame, threw on some salt and put it back in!!!
I thought it was a song about how a kids BFF tells lies. You know, kids learning not everyone is nice and then...and then I listened to the lyrics and OMG...just instant tears. I may be a bit emotional today but good lord! "Daddy, Alyssa Lies", stahp...I need a tissue.
I thought it was a song about how a kids BFF tells lies. You know, kids learning not everyone is nice and then...and then I listened to the lyrics and OMG...just instant tears. I may be a bit emotional today but good lord! "Daddy, Alyssa Lies", stahp...I need a tissue.
Friday, June 6, 2014
I may or may not have just really pissed off a family member
And ya know...I wasn't trying to be an ass its just the opportunity presented itself and I...I couldn't contain myself.
See here is where my sarcasm can go one of two ways. Either someone will laugh hysterically or I get a phone call from the patriarch telling me I made so and so cry or sad or whatever. But in my defense sarcasm is a way I deal with things that make me uncomfortable which can make others uncomfortable. My bad, yo.
FM: Do you remember ________ from grammar school?
Me: Of course...why?
FM: Their mom died last week (insert rest of facts about her life and funeral service)
Me: Oh that's sad.
FM: Their father is dead too. And she was an only child and her parents are dead.
See here is where my sarcasm can go one of two ways. Either someone will laugh hysterically or I get a phone call from the patriarch telling me I made so and so cry or sad or whatever. But in my defense sarcasm is a way I deal with things that make me uncomfortable which can make others uncomfortable. My bad, yo.
FM: Do you remember ________ from grammar school?
Me: Of course...why?
FM: Their mom died last week (insert rest of facts about her life and funeral service)
Me: Oh that's sad.
**Side Note: I am not sure what else I could have said here. I haven't seen this person since I was in 3rd grade-ish. I remember them but I no longer know them or their family.**
**apparently the proper response was "oh how tragic"...or something like that...but this is me so I didn't say that**
Me: Well aren't you a ball of sunshine today... "Hello dear, your friend from grammar school lost their mom. Oh and most of their family is deceased. Have a great day!". All joking aside, that is sad but I am sure they'll be okay. (see I am being positive)
FM: (paraphrasing because the rant is way too long) *spitting nails* *laced with venom* *pissed off sounding* I'm sorry but those are the facts. Things like that never used to bother you. What you said made you sound like that "other side" of the family. *sniff* No hard feelings just had to let you know what you sounded like. Life will go on.
Me:*thinking* "wait was that supposed to be an insult?"
FM: *insert random conversation laced with bitter undertones*
Me: *moving on...cautiously*
I know...I know being sarcastic probably was not "nice" but I mean come on. That was like the ultimate Debbie Downer conversation. "Hi dear, everyone is dead!" I don't really know these people...I don't need to know the details of the tragic story...I said that's sad, that should have been the end of it. If it was someone closer to me that would have been totally different.
But this side of my family has a weird fascination with death while the other side is more about life. Seriously, every time I talk to most of them (not all) I hear all about who died recently or who is sick or how they may die soon or just negative, negative, negative stuff. Most times it is about people I barely know. Of course if a Great Aunt
or cousin is ill I want to know but your 3rd cousin twice removed's
maid's granddaughter is not really a concern of mine. Or that neighbor
I've never met but you always talk badly about's brother is in the
hospital and wants to die...um I'm sorry...? I swear the last time I talked to the family member from above they said "this is going to put me in an early grave. Maybe then they would realize what it's doing to me". How do you respond to that?!?!?! And it was about something totally insignificant, something that can be rectified easily but rather than fix it, I hear that. Look, I prefer to be positive and surround myself with that so when unnecessary negativity is thrown at me I tend to get all silly and the above example happens. I am not in denial I know we all have an expiration date but I'd rather think about the good stuff now and in the past and what is yet to come. Not have doom looming over me at every turn.
Oh and saying I sounded like the "other side" of the family does not make me angry. I am proud to say I am sarcastic lil shit thanks to that "other side" of the family. That's where much of my laid back attitude, independence, positive outlook on life and silly sarcasm come from.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
OMG people...just people...just PEOPLE!
1. Do not call me and then put me on hold. What the hell?!?!?! If you don't have time to talk to me then call me later! I am not just sitting here waiting for you to call me. I have many other things I do besides talk to you on the phone about nothing of importance.
2. If you call me 18 times in a row bouncing between my office line and cell phone something better be dead, dying or on fire! And when I answer...do NOT put me on hold!!! Leave a flipping voicemail for God's sake. If all you need *insert simple request you can do yourself but refuse to do* is a simple
3. READ YOUR EMAIL before replying to me. Seriously I didn't write 10 lines of DETAILED instructions for you to do something half a$$ and then email me back saying it didn't work! Of course it didn't work ya jacka$$. Follow directions!!! Isn't that one of the 1st things we learn in school?!? Read ALL of the directions first, then attempt to do
Rant over, going back to my lunch! *twitch, twitch*
2. If you call me 18 times in a row bouncing between my office line and cell phone something better be dead, dying or on fire! And when I answer...do NOT put me on hold!!! Leave a flipping voicemail for God's sake. If all you need *insert simple request you can do yourself but refuse to do* is a simple
3. READ YOUR EMAIL before replying to me. Seriously I didn't write 10 lines of DETAILED instructions for you to do something half a$$ and then email me back saying it didn't work! Of course it didn't work ya jacka$$. Follow directions!!! Isn't that one of the 1st things we learn in school?!? Read ALL of the directions first, then attempt to do
Rant over, going back to my lunch! *twitch, twitch*
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Let it goooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I feel like I need to be singing this to quite a few people these days. Look no one likes to be wrong but I will fully admit "yo, my bad" if I make a mistake. But for the love of...*argh*...stop harping on it.
What REALLY annoys me is when people harp on something that wasn't even your mistake but somehow you got blamed for it. Rather than be an ass and correct them all the time I just laugh and go haha, uh huh, okay *big cheesy smile*. But if it has been over a year and you are still bent out of shape because of it and using humor to cover your apparent irritation, YOU have a problem!
It wasn't even my mess up. It was a miscommunication between internal operations at their company. Basically they (more than one person) took something I said and misconstrued it and then got fussed because of the mistake. The 1st time it was mentioned was in a meeting with 7 people!!! And it was about 4 months after it happened. *completely blindsided* I didn't even know there was a situation. Now they keep reminding me (and my boss and their boss) about it. Like all jokey and funny but it is not funny. Every time it is mentioned my boss is like, wow they are still holding on to that. And I always re-explain that I didn't say that! I was either misquoted or misunderstood but I did NOT say that. My boss thankfully laughs and says I know. But these other people that hear this stupid jibe don't know me and don't know the situation so they may think, "wow, this chick really messed up". When they need something, they wont call me but call my boss. Which then irritates my boss because I am supposed to be their go to contact. I should be the 1st call and then if it needs to go higher it does. How am I supposed to gain their confidence if they think I will eff it up from the get go?!?!?
And the lack of confidence is based on something that 1.) happened over a year ago and 2.) wasn't entirely my mistake! Sooooo frustrating!!!
More than likely this person isn't doing it to be mean necessarily. Honestly, if they knew how bad they are making me look I think they would stop but I really think they think they are being "cute" or "flirty" or "funny" by teasing me. I just don't know how to address it and not look like a douche nozzle. *le sigh*
What REALLY annoys me is when people harp on something that wasn't even your mistake but somehow you got blamed for it. Rather than be an ass and correct them all the time I just laugh and go haha, uh huh, okay *big cheesy smile*. But if it has been over a year and you are still bent out of shape because of it and using humor to cover your apparent irritation, YOU have a problem!
It wasn't even my mess up. It was a miscommunication between internal operations at their company. Basically they (more than one person) took something I said and misconstrued it and then got fussed because of the mistake. The 1st time it was mentioned was in a meeting with 7 people!!! And it was about 4 months after it happened. *completely blindsided* I didn't even know there was a situation. Now they keep reminding me (and my boss and their boss) about it. Like all jokey and funny but it is not funny. Every time it is mentioned my boss is like, wow they are still holding on to that. And I always re-explain that I didn't say that! I was either misquoted or misunderstood but I did NOT say that. My boss thankfully laughs and says I know. But these other people that hear this stupid jibe don't know me and don't know the situation so they may think, "wow, this chick really messed up". When they need something, they wont call me but call my boss. Which then irritates my boss because I am supposed to be their go to contact. I should be the 1st call and then if it needs to go higher it does. How am I supposed to gain their confidence if they think I will eff it up from the get go?!?!?
And the lack of confidence is based on something that 1.) happened over a year ago and 2.) wasn't entirely my mistake! Sooooo frustrating!!!
More than likely this person isn't doing it to be mean necessarily. Honestly, if they knew how bad they are making me look I think they would stop but I really think they think they are being "cute" or "flirty" or "funny" by teasing me. I just don't know how to address it and not look like a douche nozzle. *le sigh*
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Humans will be conquered
And not by aliens. Weeeeeeeeell unless cats & dogs are in fact alien species hiding out in plain sight then by aliens, otherwise no not aliens.
I know everyone says they have smart animals. Okay not everyone, I, for example, had a dog that was dumb as nails but he was a such sweetie! I feel like that's the animal equivalent of he's not very attractive be he has a nice personality. Moving on, my animals are all way too smart for their own good. I can see them thinking...problem solving...and sometimes it is a bit unnerving.
Example 1: Old man. He figured out the trash can. We have a stainless steel square can with a foot pedal to open the lid. The lid closes slowly. He watched us and then decided when we weren't looking he could see what goodies he could find in the trash. As in step on pedal, stick head in can and voila midday snack.
Example 2: Convict. He figured out that if he pushes hard enough he can popped the pan out of his kennel. Then he can rock the kennel back and forth until it is on its side. The bottom openings are much larger (big squares). He can squeeze through those. And voila he is free to sleep on the furniture and shred whatever he can find.
Example 3: Princess (older cat). She likes to watch TV. If she's really interested she walks up to the TV and sits right in front of it watching whatever is on. Her fav shows are animal shows and soccer. This isn't that impressive. What is impressive is she can turn on the TV. A few times we thought we just left it on. But now we are 99.9% sure its her. Sometimes its just the TV on and not the cable box but lately its both so when we come in from work whatever channel we were watching the night before is on. It also happens in the bedroom now so I started putting the remote in a drawer when I get up. Since I started doing that the TV hasn't been on. It is not everyday but its more often lately so either our house is haunted and the ghost likes cartoon network/comedy central OR Princess likes to watch her some TV during the day.
Example 4: Demon spawn (kitten). I've noticed since she has been home with us that she likes the electronics. She loves my iPad and iPhone. I think it is because they are touch screen because she thoroughly ignores my laptop. When I am reading on my iPad she swipes the screen (I guess imitating me) and moves the page. I swipe it back and she does it again. Or if I'm reading a webpage and am scrolling and swipes in the other direction so I lose my place. It is a game. She doesn't understand what she is doing (or so I thought). The other day she showed me she is smarter than I realized. My phone alarm went off but before I was fully awake it stopped. "huh, what tha?!?" I opened my eyes and demon is next to my head. I thought surely I snoozed in my sleep. It went off again and I watched her stare at the phone screen for a second, tilt her head to the side and then touch it with her paw, effectively snoozing my alarm. Uh oh...
OMG, its like planet of the apes with cats and dogs...if y'all don't hear form me for a few days my animals have taken over, they've kenneled me and I am eating crunchy food from a bowl while wearing a cone of shame.
I know everyone says they have smart animals. Okay not everyone, I, for example, had a dog that was dumb as nails but he was a such sweetie! I feel like that's the animal equivalent of he's not very attractive be he has a nice personality. Moving on, my animals are all way too smart for their own good. I can see them thinking...problem solving...and sometimes it is a bit unnerving.
Example 1: Old man. He figured out the trash can. We have a stainless steel square can with a foot pedal to open the lid. The lid closes slowly. He watched us and then decided when we weren't looking he could see what goodies he could find in the trash. As in step on pedal, stick head in can and voila midday snack.
Example 2: Convict. He figured out that if he pushes hard enough he can popped the pan out of his kennel. Then he can rock the kennel back and forth until it is on its side. The bottom openings are much larger (big squares). He can squeeze through those. And voila he is free to sleep on the furniture and shred whatever he can find.
Example 3: Princess (older cat). She likes to watch TV. If she's really interested she walks up to the TV and sits right in front of it watching whatever is on. Her fav shows are animal shows and soccer. This isn't that impressive. What is impressive is she can turn on the TV. A few times we thought we just left it on. But now we are 99.9% sure its her. Sometimes its just the TV on and not the cable box but lately its both so when we come in from work whatever channel we were watching the night before is on. It also happens in the bedroom now so I started putting the remote in a drawer when I get up. Since I started doing that the TV hasn't been on. It is not everyday but its more often lately so either our house is haunted and the ghost likes cartoon network/comedy central OR Princess likes to watch her some TV during the day.
Example 4: Demon spawn (kitten). I've noticed since she has been home with us that she likes the electronics. She loves my iPad and iPhone. I think it is because they are touch screen because she thoroughly ignores my laptop. When I am reading on my iPad she swipes the screen (I guess imitating me) and moves the page. I swipe it back and she does it again. Or if I'm reading a webpage and am scrolling and swipes in the other direction so I lose my place. It is a game. She doesn't understand what she is doing (or so I thought). The other day she showed me she is smarter than I realized. My phone alarm went off but before I was fully awake it stopped. "huh, what tha?!?" I opened my eyes and demon is next to my head. I thought surely I snoozed in my sleep. It went off again and I watched her stare at the phone screen for a second, tilt her head to the side and then touch it with her paw, effectively snoozing my alarm. Uh oh...
OMG, its like planet of the apes with cats and dogs...if y'all don't hear form me for a few days my animals have taken over, they've kenneled me and I am eating crunchy food from a bowl while wearing a cone of shame.
Monday, June 2, 2014
I'm a time traveler!
Or the person at the radio station forgot to change the auto message that runs between songs.
But I'd rather think I am a time traveler. Oh oh maybe I was traveling and then had to forget but I got dropped off 5 days later or 3 days earlier than planned. So now I'm all confused because when I woke up this morning I SWORE it was Monday (booooo Monday). But as I was driving to work the radio station I was listening to said "Welcome to the Friday Free for All".
I was still in the process of fully waking up. I mean I was awake enough to drive and be alert but anything more cognitive than that...I think you get the idea. I seriously thought I slept through the week OR I had one hell of an elaborate dream on Thursday night and I hadn't experienced the weekend just yet. Which if the latter was the case then WHOOHOO! It wasn't. I changed the station and heard the regular Monday morning schtick on another morning show. *le sigh*.
Stupid radio DJ mussin up my morning.
But I'd rather think I am a time traveler. Oh oh maybe I was traveling and then had to forget but I got dropped off 5 days later or 3 days earlier than planned. So now I'm all confused because when I woke up this morning I SWORE it was Monday (booooo Monday). But as I was driving to work the radio station I was listening to said "Welcome to the Friday Free for All".
I was still in the process of fully waking up. I mean I was awake enough to drive and be alert but anything more cognitive than that...I think you get the idea. I seriously thought I slept through the week OR I had one hell of an elaborate dream on Thursday night and I hadn't experienced the weekend just yet. Which if the latter was the case then WHOOHOO! It wasn't. I changed the station and heard the regular Monday morning schtick on another morning show. *le sigh*.
Stupid radio DJ mussin up my morning.
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