If you try to dull my sparkle...I will throw glitter on you *muahahahaha*

I am the happiness fairy, be nice or I'll glitter you.  So that whole being allowed in public thing has come full circle again.  I've always been quirky/hyper-ish/slightly outgoing.  A BFF childhood friend of mine has always compared my other BFF and I to a couple of bouncing skittles (Hyper and we wear BRIGHT clothing or weird clothing...clothing other people may find strange...).  Anyways, even with my other half over 500 miles away, I still have a tendency to be bouncy and bright.  Put us together and we have a dance party in the grocery store (it has happened and it was amazing). 

Side Note - I call her my other half...because she is.  Yes, I am married and I call him my other half but its different.  Her and I are two sides of the same coin...actually we might be the same side...if you knew us...you would understand.  

So in public being "different" is frowned upon.  Don't try to deny it...anyone who is not a child that doesn't conform to the norm is weird.  Well consider me a super freak because I am, well, me. 

Things that are frowned upon (recent experiences):

1. Dancing in public - Not like full on routines or booty dancing or couples dancing.  I am talking about when music comes on in a store and you like the song and you kind of bounce around to the beat.  NOT vulgar, get your mind out of the gutter.  Just keeping rhythm.  My husband still looks at me strange but he smiles...he has adjusted, resistance is futile.  Strangers either love it *big smile* or give me the stink eye *stupid girl*.    I don't get it.  Live a little people.  Pull the sequoia out ya butt and have some fun. 

2.  Singing in public - Again, not belting it out like Mariah gone tone deaf.  Just humming along or quietly singing along.  Why is this weird?!?!?! It's not like I burst into a full on routine like in a Disney movie.  Quit hatin' or I'll sing louder and follow you around the store (just kidding...maybe).

3.  Acknowledging kids - Not in a creepy way.  But if a child approaches me or speaks to me, I am not going to ignore him/her.  The parents always apologize but it doesn't bother me.  Precocious kids are adorable.  I know, I know "stranger danger" but kids are kids...they are curious by nature.  If  a little girl holds out her hand and introduces herself, I'm not going to be rude.  But I will always look at the mom/dad first to make sure they aren't about to kill me (some parents be cray cray).  The parents are usually fine and smile because I am acknowledging their kid, it's the other people around that freak out like I'm some sort of pedophile.  

4.  Smiling is weird - Why is this weird?!?!  I smile quite a bit.  There are two types of people.  People who smile back or tell me I have a lovely smile and others who look at me like I am mental.  It's not a huge crazy smile...its just a smile.  What is wrong in your life that a SMILE offends you??? I'm not mental, I'm just enjoying my day and trying to spread my good spirits...quit being a Debbie Downer. 

I smile like this

NOT like this

5.  Being helpful - If I overhear something or notice someone having an issue, I am going to offer assistance.  Again two types of people.  People who thank me profusely for my kindness and others who are @$$holes, acting like I just tried to rob them.  You can refuse my assistance without being a jerk.  I was offering to help you get those groceries to the car not trying to steal your Eggos (I have my own basket) or your screaming child.  I'm just nice, GEEZ!  What makes this one worse is I look 100% not threatening.  I am barely 5'1", maybe a buck seventeen...at most...but I guess no one can be trusted...I get it, doesn't mean I have to like it *plfeet*.

It just concerns me that everyone is so distrusting and negative.  I know they have reasons to be...I watch the news (unfortunately)...

I may become the happiness fairy...carrying a vial of "pixie dust" to sprinkle on @$$holes to de-@$$hole them. 

But since this is real life and not a movie this may get me arrested...ya know fear of (insert bio-weapon/drug/other issue of choice).

Side Side Note - I have my moments of distrust as well.  I am not careless but I tend to trust my gut feelings about people/situations and it hasn't steered me wrong yet *knock on wood*.

Ya know what grinds my gears?!?!

People!  People in general make me want to drive pencils through my eyes and ears so I don't have to see or hear them ANYMORE!

Simple directions are lost on so many.  Its like their lives are so mundane they feel like the simplest tasks need to be made more difficult because truly something that simple can't be right.  WRONG!!! You are so freaking WRONG.  It is that simple, I made it simple, because you have shown me YOU are in fact simple.  Now it is complicated and even my clearly superior brain can't figure out what the eff you did so don't call here and ask me what you did because I have no idea!  I don't know why I even try sometimes.  I've been told I have the patience of a Saint but after dealing with non thinkers over the years my patience is wearing thin.  I don't fancy myself a genius but I clearly have a better eye for detail and logic than those I deal with regularly.  The mantra is work SMARTER not HARDER but the smarter I work the harder others try to make my life difficult.  Seriously my head is going to explode.  Ya know why?  Because I have to deal with the fallout.  I may not have caused the most royal mess up to date but I am going to have to deal with it and that is why at the moment I have tunnel vision and feel like I am going to be sick.  

I am surrounded by negativity...this cannot be good for my health

I just cannot get away from it lately.  I am a positive person most days.  I mean we all have down in the dumps days but I try to stay positive. 

I've always heard that if you surround yourself with positivity or negativity it will bleed into your life.  I never really used to hold any truth to that but now I am not so sure.  I find that the more upbeat and happy I try to be the more people try to bring me down.  Not everyone in my life, like my close friends for example are extremely positive and supportive.  This also goes for some of my family...notice I said SOME. 

Then there are those persons that just never say anything positive.  Examples:

Me:  Hey, how's your day? *big smile*. 
Others: Well I barely got any sleep last night because I had "tummy" problems.  So I am exhausted.  I spent the night in the bathroom.  I think it was the *insert not so healthy food*.  *insert lots of talk about gas*. 
Me: Maybe you shouldn't eat....*death glare from other person* never mind. 

Me:  Good morning!
Others: I wish my dog was still alive.  He really kept me company. 
Me: So not a good morning

Me: Hey :)
Others: Did you hear so and so died?  All my friends are dying.  I could die.  *sigh*  Oh and _____ has terminal _______. 
Me: I, uh, wow...sorry. 

Me:  Soooo how ya been??? 
Others: Did you know my house is falling apart?  He left me in this house, its all his fault.
Me: *face palm*

Me: Hi, hey hey!
Others: This country is going down the shitter.  This president is ______.  The youth of today just don't understand how to survive.   By the time you have kids we will be in another depression, I hope I am dead.
Me:  Ummmm, sooooo....

I know its not that bad but this is ALL the time.  Mind you the dog passed 2 years ago and the "he" left 28 years ago... I try to be supportive but I just can't deal sometimes.  Me *happy, yay* them *doom, gloom*  Honestly it makes me not want say anything anymore. 

I feel like I am in that scene from Robin Hood: Men in Tights:

Robin Hood: Blinkin, listen to me. They've taken the castle!
Blinkin: I thought it felt a bit drafty. Cor, this never would have happened if your father was alive.
Robin Hood: He's dead?
Blinkin: Yes...
Robin Hood: And my mother?
Blinkin: She died of pneumonia while...
[Remembers]
Blinkin: Oh, you were away!
Robin Hood: My brothers?
Blinkin: There were all killed by the plague.
Robin Hood: My dog, Pongo?
Blinkin: Run over by a carriage.
Robin Hood: My goldfish, Goldie?
Blinkin: Eaten by the cat.
Robin Hood: [on the verge of tears] My cat?
Blinkin: Choked on the goldfish.
[pause]
Blinkin: Oh, it's good to be home, ain't it, Master Robin?


I think my favorite is when I talk about babies.  Peeps are all yay, you want kinds.  *immediately goes into story about their experience*.  Which happens to be kind of awful most of the time.  I mean I am trying to get pregnant and people are telling me how hard it is, how everyone has a touch of endometriosis which can cause problems, how many miscarriages they had, how I am "older", how if we've been trying for more than ____ months there is a problem, how we are clearly infertile because it hasn't happened yet, etc, etc, etc.  I am assuming you mean well (I guess) but these are NOT what you should be telling someone who wants to get pregnant!  You should be spouting positive things not the realm of impossibilities.  Leave those diagnoses to DOCTORS! 

But these negative things are starting to affect me.  I find myself being VERY negative about the possibility of  a little one. Like I have somewhat convinced myself that something is seriously wrong with my lady parts so I shouldn't expect to have a wee wittle one.  That is sad.  It is.  I should not feel this way!  But when it is beat into your head ALL THE TIME from well meaning people then you start to believe it.  I get it...making a baby isn't easy but you could at least try to say something that wont send me into a fit of anxious tears as soon as I am alone.  Also the constant barrage of "yo, why aren't you preggo yet???" isn't helping.  I don't know.  It is not for lack of trying!  I don't mind being asked that is fine but when the same people ask over and over and over.  I am like dude, working on it! That is a pet peeve.  If you know someone who is "trying" do not keep asking them if they are...just wait.  They told you they are trying...reminding them EVERY TIME you see them that they still aren't with child can be annoying. 

I guess I am just tired of people trying to dull my sparkle.  Its like the darkness in them sees how bright my light is shining and is determined to drown it into inky blackness.  STAHP! I like being bright and lighthearted but it is becoming harder and harder to be that way.  I've always been told misery loves company, I guess I never realized how true those words were.  *sigh* I only wish those that are so miserable weren't persons I have to be around regularly.