Well at least I had dark pants on!

Its spook spook season! Which means all the decorations, scary movies, and haunted houses.  Well I mean scary movies are all year round but in October its 10 fold!

Anyways, I love all the scary things.  But there are some things that get me. 

Moving on we decided to get our Haunted House on the other night. I was so flipping excited. 

When we got there we realized it was an additional theme night!!! WINNING!!!

 Ghost Face, Jason, Freddy, Chuckie, etc walking around outside while we were in line.  When suddenly  I turn around there is Terrifier.

My face

He walked straight to the group in front of us as I had a mini panic attack because CLOWN...not just that KILLER CLOWN!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways after I died a tiny death we got to the front of the building.  Where there was a GIANT replica of Pennywise in spider form. 

I took a pic to torture my friends when suddenly that f**king thing launched forward snarling and twitching his spider legs. I about $hit my pants!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE CLOWNS and IT is the stuff of nightmares!!!!!!!

Moving on for some reason I was put in the front and it was a blast of spook spook!!!  

They got me a couple times and I was having so much fun! I was looking up at eyeballs watching me when I came face to face with leather face and screamed "f**k me!" as he lunged at me.  Hubs said he heard him laughing as we went by.   

Chuckie was just oogie, queen of the damned was GORGEOUS, and the mummy was cool as $HIT.  Then we went into a dark room....with a rotund clown....holding a red balloon.  He followed me for like 5 min and I was about to cry.

We were almost to the end going through a maze when I came face to face with Freddy. I squeaked and he clanked his knives and said "I want to be in your dreams". Excuse me??!?!?  I almost died laughing as I ran away.   He should have said "I'm your boyfriend now Nancy".  I would have pissed myself laughing.  

I ran away right into the freaking chainsaw at the end *cue more screaming* hahaha.  I had SO MUCH FUN. 

Jazzland the Resurrection....???

The other dream jumped here.  I was driving around SE LA with work bestie and my twin besties.  Apparently they were along for the ride (?).  

It was a small old model Ford car and while I know it was daytime, everything was muted.  Like colors weren't as vibrant.  I don't know if it was over multiple days or not but I know we  met with a few people but it was only like 10:00AM and our next meeting wasn't until 2:30PM so we had some time to kill. 

Of all the places for us to be having meetings...we were in New Orleans East (WTAF).  One of the twins suggested we go to Jazzland to kill some time.  Ya know the NOLA Themed Amusement Park that was sold to Six Flags and has been defunct and abandoned since Katrina!!!

Except in my dream it was still open so we got a day pass.  As we walked through the gates everything turned vibrant.  Picture Wizard of Oz when Dorothy goes from Kansas to Oz.  It wasn't too crowded but had a lot of people for a middle of the day weekday.  So we were walking around and work bestie was like this place is small but really neat.  

The twins beelined it for a "haunted egyption" ride and me and bestie wandered to another area.  He nudged me to look at a "Top Gun" ride that launched you up a zip line like a fighter jet.  It was a two person single car thing and made the jet noises.  But I ended up walking over to this slide thing.  Like you got in a inner tube type thing and loop de looed all over the place.  No shoes of course so we removed our shoes and went up. I somehow got tangled in the crochet tube (WTF) and went down weird but it was super fun.

When I got to the bottom the twins were waiting and like "where are your shoes" so we went on the hunt for them.  They weren't in lockers....the were like tossed around in what looked like a living room.  I was panicking because I really liked my shoes.  Then I found them... they were my Doc Martins.  Why I would be wearing those for work meetings is beyond me.

I put them on and we realized we lost Bestie.  It was early afternoon and we needed to get to the next meeting.  But instead of them herding us (like a huge group of people) back into the park, we were herded into like a banquet hall and a private party was happening so they herded us down a barely lit hallway that reminded me of the Haunted Mansion or tower of terror ride and before we knew it we were outside the gates. 

I managed to keep track of the twins but we needed to find my friend.  So I tried calling but couldn't get him.  This was weird.  Like I knew something was very wrong because he wouldn't just leave us.  They wouldn't let us back in even with the day pass armband so we had them page him over the PA.  And I remember saying "oh he's gonna love that!".  

Hours went by and he didn't show and I was freaking out a little and so were the twins.  After nightfall they were doing some sort of show that reminded me a bit of Halloween Horror Nights.  Like we could see the pyrotechnics and hear the actors from outside.  Finally around 8PM we snuck in with another group to go find him.  The twins kept saying "he wouldn't just leave us!".  

I ended up in some theater with a bunch of people looking at a stage.  I honestly don't know what happened but they started screaming and a hand would burst from their lower abdomen/pelvic area and slap their stomach.  Then a brand that looked like a clawed hand would appear.  I have never run so fast in my life.  What in the devil worship insanity is happening?!?!?!

I ran into the haunted egypt ride and was being chased by these people with brands yelling for me to join them and hissing (WTAF).  I don't know what happened but something occured in the egypt ride and a "higher" being poured blood over me and crowned me queen.  That's when I saw the twins and they both had smaller crowns and lace (?) dresses.  The blood turned into an intricate design of a dress and streaked my hair with red highlights.  The higher being looked like princess Diana but with dark makeup and a fitted to flowing black and red gown.  

She said we needed to leave now and at this point I was almost in tears, I can't find my friend!!!! She looked at me and said she had saved someone from the branded group...a sacrifice.  She "anointed" him something but he was not very cooperative.  They brought him out in chains. It was bestie.  He had a black eye and a gash on his head.  His long sleeve button up was torn from the shoulders so it was sleeveless and he also had the "blood designs" on him.  He looked ready to murder someone until he saw us.  Lots of hugs and OMG are you okays later and we were being escorted out of the park by the higher being and her entourage.  She was talking about how she was so happy she was able to ascend the queen (what?!).  And I was like "what about the other chick that ascended???"  

This made the higher being freeze.  She said "what other chick?".  I explained that during the branding in the theater another woman was on stage and they were crowning her because I was running away. She started laughing but like a "are you f**king kidding me" laugh.  Then she said "you must leave now. Another queen should not have been crowned.  You and your knight are in danger".  Knight?!?!!?!?!?

So we head to the rental in an EMPTY parking lot.  Where the f**k is everyone?!?! The twins are like "are we royalty now???  What the f**k just happened???".  Its insanely late and pitch black.  Like almost no lights except the moon. He gets the car started and the green lights on the display say 2AM.  We were in there 6 hours....how??!!?  

Then bestie in his truest fashion goes "I don't know...but I am really pissed we missed that only happens every 7 years meeting".  What?!?!?!  1. He's not even been with our company 7 years! Hell, I just made 7 years!!!! and 2. did you forget about the sacrifice blood magic queen and knight thing?!?!?!

Never go into the dark woods

I am 99% sure we were at my friend's dad's camp in the dream but it also seemed like a campground we have all been to many times..

It was a HUGE plantation style house and my whole friend group with spouses plus our tall blonde with the camp were staying. The house was at the edge of a lagoon.  And all around the lagoon was a pebbled concrete path that reminded me a bit of a park.  

It had so many rooms.  It wasn't really an open layout there was a door to each room whether it was bed, living, kitchen, den, dining, etc. each had a door.  And there was lots of...stuff.  Like decor...it looked very well loved.

The weather was bouncing between sunny and storming.  I know it jumped around a few days because I remember one night when it was storming and I couldn't find my way around.  Like the lights were on and I was in a room at the top floor trying to get down and all the hallways just kept going.  So I stopped and went on the wrap around balcony and it was so dark but the moon was peaking through the clouds. 

Then I was laying out by the water...on the concrete when my PnC came out with a cocktail and was like why do you only have 6 Nutrls we are going to be here for 8 days or something like that.  So one of my twins was like let's go to the store and see what we can get you. 

So we went in to change.  While we were inside the water got "rough" and the other twin was pickup our stuff because the water was coming over the edge of the walkway.  We went to leave and I had on the jankiest flip flops that felt like they were about to snap and running shorts.  As we walked out tall blonde came in and I realized I really hadn't seen her.  She was staying in the master bedroom.  She kinda zoomed past with a quick hey and closed the door which then seemed to pull really far away down a hall.  

Note - I feel like this means something other than weird brain dream as she has in reality pulled away from everyone and we never see her. 

Anyways me and one twin started walking INTO THE WOODS to get to the store and were talking about how we should do this more often.  It wasn't terribly hot but the woods looked dark, like unaturaly dark. And I felt like we really shouldn't go in there.  Like as we walked into the canopy I was getting very nervous. 

Then it switched.  

Such an angry little weiner

Why are the smallest dogs the most aggressive?!?!?

I've run across all varieties of dogs.  But by far the most insane are usually less than 10 lbs!!!!!!

I was riding my bike singing (in my head) and just enjoying the lovely evening when suddenly some black streak of nothing comes running at me from the other side of the street.  It was jerked back by the lead and stood barking from the tire of SUV parked across the street. 

I "eeped" and then busted out laughing.  It was a TEENY TINY dachshund.  

He was barking his head off but couldn't get to me because he was tethered.  There were two guys working on another vehicle in the driveway cracking up laughing. 

I continued my ride, I still had more than halfway to go!  As I was making my way back home I forgot about the 10 lb terror.  

This time as I was coming back I happened to be on the same side of the street as him.  As I passed he ran out and stopped CENTIMETERS from my tire.  I literally screamed.  Like Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween, scream queen SCREAMED.

Then giggled like a maniac because it was a itty bitty ankle biter but he was tethered.  His owner(s) were making fun of him.  When suddenly that clever mother f**ker shimmied out of his f**king harness.  My giggles turned to "oh $hit!" as I pedaled away with a tiny terrorist hot on my wheel.  

Meanwhile the owner who is probably in his mid fifties and while fit-ish, had a beer belly came RUNNING after us screaming "get back here you @$$hole *derogatory term for short people*!!!".  Then "Don't stop, he might actually bite!!!"

So I kicked it into high gear trying to make sure I didn't run over my new little fiend.  

Popcorn+Wine for dinner = Dead people (?) and a Tsunami

The 1st thing I remember is it was night time.  Like 8 or 9 PM.  I was in my little Mazda and was going to deliver sorted cards to my "new" contact at public safety.  But I was bringing them to his house.  He lived in an apartment building.  I was driving around what looked like Uptown New Orleans looking for this "complex".  It had a horseshoe driveway and looked almost like Notre Dame Seminary on Carrolton. At some point I remember thinking I should call him and make sure he's home (LOL what?!?!).

There were a TON of cars in various states of disrepair so no parking.  I found a spot on this weird stretch of Neutral ground where others were parking.  I couldn't find the apartment, 8-XXX.  I can't remember the rest of the number now but I remember the 8.  I realized as I was walking around the 8 was the building number and I was parked in front of Building 4.  

There were people EVERYWHERE but they weren't paying attention to me.  They were all very...dark.  I don't know how to explain it.  Like they weren't all dark skinned...just like in shadow and gave me the heebies.  I headed back to my car to get the cards and the dream shifted to a memory.  But a "Dream" memory.  

In the memory, I was going to my "old" contact's townhouse to drop off the sorted cards.  She lived with her husband and I missed her dearly.  She passed away (she has passed away in reality).  I was in her townhouse. It was very 80's with the brown tones and wood paneling.  She gave me the biggest hug and told me she always looked forward to my visits. She had dinner for us to enjoy together but her husband wasn't home yet.  There was lots of chatting and laughing.  It felt so good to be with her.

Then I was back at my car getting the GARBAGE bag out (in reality it would have been very organized boxes).  Some people I knew saw me and said they would walk with me to building 8 since they were going to a party at building 15.  The girl didn't want me going by myself...she was very worried about me being alone with all these people out.  The bag was heavy but we were making our way around.  These people were like in a trance moving around almost in a daze...and like I said, shadowed.  We were "bright".  The shadowed people didn't move out of the way.  It was like they didn't really see us.  I really felt like we didn't belong and I knew if I touched one it would be bad. 

Then I was back in my car driving around New Orleans in the early morning but like an exaggerated, weird AF version of the streets.  Things looped around to nowhere.  If you weren't careful you ended up on a bridge that went (?) to I don't know where but I was terrified of going over it.  It was really tall and the otherside was dark as heck. 

I was on what I think was Tchoupitoulas Street but it had a "street car" and was even more narrow than it actually is.  I went through a tunnel (WTF) and my GPS was like "Nah B may a u-ey".  But the U-turn took me back into the tunnel and there were tracks for the street car and I didn't think I was supposed to go in there.  So I was waiting outside of it and I saw a light and was like "I knew it, there is a train".  Seriously what is happening?!?!? People already in the tunnel moved to the side of the walls (WTF) and the "train" shot out of the tunnel but it was a model train like the ones my brother used to have. 

It jumped again and I was bringing breakfast to to my work bestie's house.  The "new" contact from Public Safety was with me and another guy that was shortish, fit, older with white hair and a white beard.  My bestie lived in an attached house....like it was a house attached to another house....  He answered the door in jeans and an undershirt.  It was like 7AM or something.  I was like sorry for the early hour but we have brekkie. 

He was grumpy and said he needed coffee but let us in.  He swiped his hand dramatically over his head and eyes (he is lacking in the hair dept) and glared at the two men behind me.  He said his family had already left for the day.  It was a tiny kitchen with a table in the middle to fit 5, like short rectangle.  But it had a lot of stuff on it.  It reminded me of the table at my grandparents house...ALWAYS covered in crap.  

We sat down to eat and before I could cook the chicken bites one of the other guys put a piece of raw chicken on bread and ate it (AHHHHHHH!).  Anyways, I grabbed the rest and popped it in the oven.  

It jumped again and the table was gone and there was a mattress in the middle of the kitchen and an old small box TV on a stand.  Bestie was like "I sleep in here sometimes" (WUT?!?!?).  I was sitting on the counter and felt the sink move.....so I moved over because the sink was detaching from the counter. Dude with the white beard went to use the sink and I said "be careful his house is breaking".

I somehow fell asleep in the dream and woke up snuggled with "new" contact and when we woke up we jumped apart like whoa whoa WTF?!?!  Bestie was FUMING.  He was like "don't touch her!".  And pulled me off the counter.  Then we realized we were late for something and left.   

We were standing outside his front door when we heard sirens.  It was a Tsunami warning (WHAT?!!?).  When I looked up, I could see the pacific ocean about a mile away and a HUGE wave coming at us.  We started running for higher ground and as I was running up this HUGE hill I thought "we don't have hills in NOLA!!!".   As I looked back at the wave coming at us I realized we weren't high enough.  It was on land now and I could see people in the distance being flung off their safe perches by the water.  

We turned right and there was a STEEP grass covered bigger "hill" going higher so we booked it up that hill.  All four of us were together.  We collapsed at the top as the wave surged below us.  I was leaning against a rock or something next to bestie and he was looking away.  We were celebrating that we made it but I noticed he wouldn't look at me.  I said his name and he looked at me with red rimmed eyes, tears covering the blue and spilling down.  And I realized his home was down there and said "Oh _____ I am so sorry" and I tried to give him a hug but he said "No, don't...you can't hug me when I am like this".  So I placed my hand on his arm and he broke down crying and then fell into me.  So I hugged him and said "Shhh, its ok. Its going to be ok.  They are ok.".  I looked at my phone (which was like an old school silver panasonic with a keypad and a small screen) to make a call and realized I didn't have service.  

No, not the sexy kind, I’m just weird

I can’t tell peeps they were in my dreams because they always think “brown chicken brown cow” and it’s more like “nah B you were having an in person meeting in my bathroom.”

So we were in like an old NOLA raised house.  Like one side of a double.  I’m not sure whose house I imagined but you went up about 6 steps to the front door.  Once inside there was a living room, a rather large living room that lead into an eating/dining are.  There were double doors that lead into a decent sized kitchen.  Off the living room to the right was a little hallway.  As you turned the middle door facing the living room was the bathroom.  On either side was a bedroom.  

Now it wasn’t really furnished from what I remember.  There was a sofa, chair, coffee table, TV stand and TV. The dining area didn’t have a table.  

It was me and my husband in the living room waiting for someone or a few someones.  Hubs was sick (which he actually is at the moment).  My coworker bestie walked in with his brief case.  He’s kinda short so with heels on I am at eye level with him.  He was like “XYZ will be here in a few minutes.”  Another coworker….we’ll call him frat boy bc he reminds me of a frat boy and he shares a name with my little brother.  Anyways he shows up but like I can’t see him clearly, I just know he is there.  Hubs was in his work gear and was like I gotta run and left. 

An older woman with short gray hair and a flower dress walks in.  She was kind of tiny but I remember she had kind eyes.  Bestie leads her to my bathroom where there is now a Desk and two chairs (WTF?!?). We sit and he starts this meeting.  It was going really well.  As we are talking I get a tickle in my throat and excuse myself.  I go through the double doors into a dark kitchen to cough.  

JI didn’t want to interrupt his sales pitch so I just hung out for a sec.  But then I was like “Crap I gotta pee” and then “Ugh he’s in the bathroom!”. I even remember thinking in the dream “why is he meeting with her in my bathroom?!?!?”

It jumped ahead and we went into the backyard where there was a fairly large pool, pool house, deck, and a decent green swatch of yard over to the right. I don’t know why we vacated to the pool house after she left but it was me, bestie, and a friend of mine.  But I can’t remember who just she was about my size and a friend.  She had a blanket on top of her head and wrapped around her. We recapped the meeting saying it went well etc.  

We walked back out to the yard/pool area and my dad had arrived with my grandmother (deceased) and my godmother. They were sitting at a black wrought iron table.  We started talking and my bestie started walking around the pool.  I went to kiss everyone hello and my Godmother stopped me and was like “I’m not feeling well”.  I was laying on the ground in the sun with my friend in the blanket.  I remember I did something and she said “I said stop” and then leaned over and kissed me on my forehead.  

I was talking with my dad when bestie walked up and I was like “hey bestie, this is my dad, grandmother, and godmother.” He seemed a little nervous but was very nice.  I asked if he was getting his steps in, because we are doing a step challenge at work.  Like we literally are right now hahaha.  He said yes and he didn’t want to intrude on my family time.  I said never, you are basically family at this point.  My dad mentioned lunch.  My grandmother got excited and said “Mandinas!  I haven’t been there in years!”  

Which I mean if we are being real…is true since she passed in 2019.  Bestie was a little sweaty from getting his steps and it being effing NOLA and 8 millions degrees out.  I reached up and grabbed besties hand to help me up.   

Then he held onto my hand (like in a platonic way…like when I hold my girlfriends hands), leaned over, and was like “are you sure it’s ok for me to come to lunch???”   And my grandmother gave him this look like “don’t be stupid” and started clapping and said “yes!  I am so excited for lunch!”

I was wrestling a velociraptor

Surprise surprise, I got injured. So I somehow have "tennis" elbow.  

1. I do not play tennis

2. I do not lift weights

3. Whhhhyyyy

About a month and a half ago I noticed it hurt when I picked up my yeti.  The heck?!?!

At first I thought I was imagining it but it got worse and worse.  So I googled it and DAMMIT it's totally "tennis" elbow.  I got an arm band thingy with the "knob" that pushes into your arm.  It's hard to explain but if you google tennis elbow treatment, you'll see one.  

It helped a lot, along with not using my arm...which is difficult because I AM RIGHT HANDED!!!

But I still didn't know what I did.  After some reflection....I realized...I injured myself by OVER USING my arm while using my new Steam Cleaner.  OMG I am so old....

Of all the stupid ways to get hurt. I am NOT telling people this!!!!!

Well It got better so about a week ago...I used it again.  Ya know...the cleaner.  OW!!!!!!!!!!  

I am back in pain.  Can't use my arm...much.  And now I have a SLEEVE.  Like one of those old people copper compression things.  

Well with the sleeve its WAY more noticeable so people are like OMG what happened?!?  

And I don't want to be like "I got a little too aggressive cleaning" but like what am I supposed to say.  

People are trying to guess.  So far

"OMG did you fall off your bike?!?!"

"Too much 3rd Base with the hubs?"

"Which dog is an @$$hole??"

"Sleep wrong?"

"How drunk were you.....?"

"Wait do you play tennis??"

"5lb weights were too much weren't they?"

Alas, nothing so interesting...so I've started coming up with ridiculous things.  

"I joined a trapeze group."

"Too many one armed pull-ups"

"Arm wrestled a kangaroo"

"Water Ballet with Alligators"

"Aliens"

"This one time at band camp..."

You get the picture.  I told my cousin the real reason and she's made fun of me for the last week.