Stop, Alto, Halt, Yo bro slow your roll!

I don't know why some older people feel like they are exempt from rules. 

I ride my bike, alot.  I run/walk alot.  I am stupidly cautious because I don't trust peeps. 

While I am riding/running in my neighborhood, I don't always stop at signs but I slow, I make sure no cars are coming.  But there are areas where I do not have a stop sign.  Now I still slow down at cross streets because again...I trust no one.  

I had an older woman blow through a stop sign going about 35 in a 20.  She didn't even try to stop.  I did NOT have a stop sign. I was paying attention and slammed on my bike brakes.  I popped off my seat and clanked my teeth together.  This b**ch had the nerve to roll down her window and yell at me.  

I'm sorry, you ran a stop sign and almost hit me.  She said "I'm a car and always have the right of way"

DA FUQ?!?!?!

Then like a day or two later I was LITERALLY run off the road.  An older woman in an oversized SUV wasn't paying attention (on her phone). As I turned right, she blew through a stop sign on the street I was turning onto.  I saw her at the last second and jerked my wheel to the right.  I hit the curb and fell off my bike.  SHE DIDN'T F**KING NOTICE!  She was so distracted she also jumped the curb about a foot in front of me, barely missing me and my bike.  

She never stopped.  Honestly if she would have hit me she wouldn't have noticed.  A man walking his dogs saw me and was like "OMG are you ok?!"  Thankfully I was since I fell in the grass but HOLY $HIT!

And this was in broad daylight!  You couldn't miss me or my hot pink tank!

I know drivers have always sucked but I swear more and more recently people are so incredibly reckless and are quick to blame anyone but their careless selves!!!!!!

How the f**k did I turn out semi normal?!?!?!

No but really.  I joke about my crazy family but they really are like LEGIT weirdos.  And not in the fun kind of way.  No, I'm talking about in the stress you out until you lose your f**king mind kind of way. 

Let me set a scene for you.  I got a text...NOT A CALL A F**KING text that said "Patriarch fell in the bathroom.  Had to call Fire dept. Matriarch said he's acting funny and talking odd." 

What would you have said???  I said "did he have a stroke??? what hospital is he at?" 

20 min later "He's not at the hospital.  I'm going over there later."

WTF?!?!?!  Apparently its not too bad.

STG 8:30PM I get another f**king text "He looks bad.  He shakes.  Maybe a stroke.  Never slept.  Won't eat.  Maybe Dr. will call me tomorrow.  Say a prayer."

Are you F**KING kidding me???  "I'll say a prayer but....You think he had a stroke...and he's home?!?!?!  Call 911 NOW, the first few hours after a stroke are CRUCIAL to survival!!!!"  I get he is over 90 but COME ON. 

20 texts back and forth and I'm told "he knows what stroke is, he fine.  Don't call the other kids, don't want to worry them.  No hospital.  He's going to sleep."

My side of the 20 texts "Call.the.ambulance.NOW!  Don't you think we should at LEAST call his kids...ya know in case this goes south.  What if he doesn't wake up!?!?  Fine, whatever!  Don't listen to me.  Clearly you crazy people know more than a medical professional!!!!!" (not me but I still thought he should see one)

I attempted to go to sleep...which can I tell you really didn't f**king happen.  Then I went to work because you know "responsibilities".  I waited until 10:40AM to attempt contact.  Mother F**king crickets.  Seriously?!?!!?  You TEXT me and basically imply the Patriarch is dying, then tell me it isn't so bad, then don't answer the god blessed phone....WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?!?

I have been semi sane.  I've only called every 30-40 min and sent a few texts.  Still...NOTHING! I would assume if it was bad, I'd have gotten a response but who f**king knows.  These are the same people that thought after a 90+ yo fell he DIDN'T need to be seen by a doc. 

I hate docs to but can we make an adult decision.  A LOGICAL adult decision.  For my f**king sanity.  And God help me if I get a TEXT with bad news...I may lose my mind for real. 

At what age you do decide, "hey, I'm old enough to be an '@$$hole' to everyone and just not care"

Is it like timed??? Does it just happen one day???  "Oh, I turned 75 time to turn off the filter and let all my thoughts out".

I don't take offense because I am me and I try to not be offended by everything.  But it doesn't make it "okay" because not everyone just rolls with it.  It isn't all "Old" people but a striking majority feel like they can say whatever they want to whomever they want just because they are old and I don't know when that happens but it just does. 

And I'm not talking about the innocent comments where there is a generation gap and they don't realize its inappropriate.  I mean when they say things that everyone...no matter what age...knows is rude.  Its like "I'm over 80 now, I have no more f**ks to give".  It's funny (at least to me) but I can see how it can be damaging to those of a more sensitive nature. 

So I went visit the elders.  I brought treats because I am a good little youngin'.  About 5 minutes after we finished said treats our Matriarch said "Hmmm your tummy is poking out.  Are you sure you're not pregnant..." What on Earth...?!?! "Ummmmm, *trying not to be a sarcastic twit* yes, I am 100% sure.  It's because I just ate a bunch of sweets.  It will go down after I digest and stuff".  Her response...was...  She said "Oh, is that a thing.  You shouldn't eat before you go out on dates then.  People will think you got knocked up".  OMG what?!?!  *hahahaha*  "I am married...I mean we go out on dates but if people thought I was preggo it would be okay...".  Then she said "Well make sure you wear baggy clothes at home so he doesn't think you are getting fat".  Oh good God...tell me how you really feel *hahaha* "Okaaaaay, I'll do that... *trying not to roll eyes lest I get backhanded*".

She didn't mean any harm (I don't think), she just has zero filter.  I know in my heart she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings but some of my other relatives may have taken MAJOR offense to that.  Plus she knows we aren't getting PG but she doesn't know all the annoying details of that not working so you can't fault her there either.  I just don't know when that happens.  My other grandma does it too.  It's like they just say whatever they are thinking without thinking about what they are saying.  I guess after 80+ years you really don't care how PC you are, especially with your goofy family.