How the f**k did I turn out semi normal?!?!?!

No but really.  I joke about my crazy family but they really are like LEGIT weirdos.  And not in the fun kind of way.  No, I'm talking about in the stress you out until you lose your f**king mind kind of way. 

Let me set a scene for you.  I got a text...NOT A CALL A F**KING text that said "Patriarch fell in the bathroom.  Had to call Fire dept. Matriarch said he's acting funny and talking odd." 

What would you have said???  I said "did he have a stroke??? what hospital is he at?" 

20 min later "He's not at the hospital.  I'm going over there later."

WTF?!?!?!  Apparently its not too bad.

STG 8:30PM I get another f**king text "He looks bad.  He shakes.  Maybe a stroke.  Never slept.  Won't eat.  Maybe Dr. will call me tomorrow.  Say a prayer."

Are you F**KING kidding me???  "I'll say a prayer but....You think he had a stroke...and he's home?!?!?!  Call 911 NOW, the first few hours after a stroke are CRUCIAL to survival!!!!"  I get he is over 90 but COME ON. 

20 texts back and forth and I'm told "he knows what stroke is, he fine.  Don't call the other kids, don't want to worry them.  No hospital.  He's going to sleep."

My side of the 20 texts "Call.the.ambulance.NOW!  Don't you think we should at LEAST call his kids...ya know in case this goes south.  What if he doesn't wake up!?!?  Fine, whatever!  Don't listen to me.  Clearly you crazy people know more than a medical professional!!!!!" (not me but I still thought he should see one)

I attempted to go to sleep...which can I tell you really didn't f**king happen.  Then I went to work because you know "responsibilities".  I waited until 10:40AM to attempt contact.  Mother F**king crickets.  Seriously?!?!!?  You TEXT me and basically imply the Patriarch is dying, then tell me it isn't so bad, then don't answer the god blessed phone....WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!?!?

I have been semi sane.  I've only called every 30-40 min and sent a few texts.  Still...NOTHING! I would assume if it was bad, I'd have gotten a response but who f**king knows.  These are the same people that thought after a 90+ yo fell he DIDN'T need to be seen by a doc. 

I hate docs to but can we make an adult decision.  A LOGICAL adult decision.  For my f**king sanity.  And God help me if I get a TEXT with bad news...I may lose my mind for real.