Shine bright like a diamond

Link

All I see is....

Side note - I STILL LOVE THAT SONG... *end transmission*

Also, I am 99.9% certain I owned glitter sunscreen back in the 90's and it didn't end well for me....

...SPF 30 MY @$$!!!!

Sooooo excuse me if I don't trust the "SPF 50" it claims....

Also, all I can imagine is a bunch of Twihards running around the beach claiming to be a brooding 200 y/o teenage vamp.

Looking back...what even was Twilight?!?!?

Side side note - No one "hated" Twilight more than the main star...

And I have to agree.  Can't believe I am admitting this...*sigh* I read the books...I saw the movies... why.did.he.have.to.chew.the.baby.out.of.her?!?!?

Someone help me...I've been attacked by a flock of overly excited fairies

No but really...this is serious people!  You see I decided that for this race I am doing soon I am wearing a Tutu.  Because HELLOOOO TUTU!  And also because its a "fun run" for Christmas.  So I bought ribbon and tulle...its really not hard to make a freaking tutu and it cost a whopping $15.

My first mistake...I was on the phone when I bought the spools of tulle (hehehe).  Meaning I wasn't 100% focused on the task and missed a key word.  Look, I saw SPARKLES...I can't help but be drawn to the sparkles.  "Ooooo shiny" is my catch phrase or something.  I thought it was that crinkly metallic ribbon stuff woven in the tulle. I was so WRONG!  When I got home and opened the tulle I was immediately assaulted by an explosion of glitter.

WTF?!?!?!  And since I had now OPENED it...I couldn't return it...son of a b**ch!  So as I sat on my COUCH covered in Red, Green and Iridescent sparkles, I wondered how my life had come to this.   Rather than dwell on my mistakes I started making my Tutu.  Surely its just that loose stuff when you first open it...RIGHT?!!?!?  Nope *sobbing*.

But what am I going to do?  I am not buying MORE tulle...I am going to use what I have purchased DAMMIT!  So every cut...every loop...every knot I had more and more glitter blanketing my living room.  At one point I sneezed...

doG f**king dammit!

I was so focused on my tutu making that I was unaware of Speedy sitting below me on the floor.  He was LOVING the glitter.

WTF dog?!?!  He looked like he crawled out of Tinkerbell's @$$hole.  Great...  I finished the Tutu, YAY!  But how am I going to transport this to my race?  I am NOT putting it in my car...maybe in a bag in the trunk.  But I'm going to be running in this....CRAP!

All I can envision is me leaving a trail of Red, Green and Iridescent sparkles as I jog my way through the course. F**k it!  I am going to embrace my sparkles. 

Just call me Tink.

And everyone behind me will be like...

...Sorry 'bout ya.

Whatever...

and possibly beaten by a mob of angry runners

Anyways, I attempted to clean my living room, couch and dog...oh and cats...and me....GOD IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!  Vacuuming repeatedly didn't get it all.  I went shopping two days later and the clerk was like "ma'am you have glitter in your hair." *thinking* "What?  I've showered at least twice..." *said* "ahhhhhhhhhhh it really is the herpes of the craft world!"  As I shook my hair like a crazy person.  This got me some strange stares from other store patrons.  Side note....it has also made it's way into my bedroom *waaaaaahhhhhh*

It has been 4 days...FOUR DAYS...and there is still glitter.  Why is this happening to me?  I think it is reproducing. In conclusion...I love sparkly, shiny things but I hate glitter...unless its like this...

Who am I kidding?!?! I'd hate this....that $hit gets EVERYWHERE!!!  Hose yourself off...then we'll talk.

 

If you try to dull my sparkle...I will throw glitter on you *muahahahaha*

I am the happiness fairy, be nice or I'll glitter you.  So that whole being allowed in public thing has come full circle again.  I've always been quirky/hyper-ish/slightly outgoing.  A BFF childhood friend of mine has always compared my other BFF and I to a couple of bouncing skittles (Hyper and we wear BRIGHT clothing or weird clothing...clothing other people may find strange...).  Anyways, even with my other half over 500 miles away, I still have a tendency to be bouncy and bright.  Put us together and we have a dance party in the grocery store (it has happened and it was amazing). 

Side Note - I call her my other half...because she is.  Yes, I am married and I call him my other half but its different.  Her and I are two sides of the same coin...actually we might be the same side...if you knew us...you would understand.  

So in public being "different" is frowned upon.  Don't try to deny it...anyone who is not a child that doesn't conform to the norm is weird.  Well consider me a super freak because I am, well, me. 

Things that are frowned upon (recent experiences):

1. Dancing in public - Not like full on routines or booty dancing or couples dancing.  I am talking about when music comes on in a store and you like the song and you kind of bounce around to the beat.  NOT vulgar, get your mind out of the gutter.  Just keeping rhythm.  My husband still looks at me strange but he smiles...he has adjusted, resistance is futile.  Strangers either love it *big smile* or give me the stink eye *stupid girl*.    I don't get it.  Live a little people.  Pull the sequoia out ya butt and have some fun. 

2.  Singing in public - Again, not belting it out like Mariah gone tone deaf.  Just humming along or quietly singing along.  Why is this weird?!?!?! It's not like I burst into a full on routine like in a Disney movie.  Quit hatin' or I'll sing louder and follow you around the store (just kidding...maybe).

3.  Acknowledging kids - Not in a creepy way.  But if a child approaches me or speaks to me, I am not going to ignore him/her.  The parents always apologize but it doesn't bother me.  Precocious kids are adorable.  I know, I know "stranger danger" but kids are kids...they are curious by nature.  If  a little girl holds out her hand and introduces herself, I'm not going to be rude.  But I will always look at the mom/dad first to make sure they aren't about to kill me (some parents be cray cray).  The parents are usually fine and smile because I am acknowledging their kid, it's the other people around that freak out like I'm some sort of pedophile.  

4.  Smiling is weird - Why is this weird?!?!  I smile quite a bit.  There are two types of people.  People who smile back or tell me I have a lovely smile and others who look at me like I am mental.  It's not a huge crazy smile...its just a smile.  What is wrong in your life that a SMILE offends you??? I'm not mental, I'm just enjoying my day and trying to spread my good spirits...quit being a Debbie Downer. 

I smile like this

NOT like this

5.  Being helpful - If I overhear something or notice someone having an issue, I am going to offer assistance.  Again two types of people.  People who thank me profusely for my kindness and others who are @$$holes, acting like I just tried to rob them.  You can refuse my assistance without being a jerk.  I was offering to help you get those groceries to the car not trying to steal your Eggos (I have my own basket) or your screaming child.  I'm just nice, GEEZ!  What makes this one worse is I look 100% not threatening.  I am barely 5'1", maybe a buck seventeen...at most...but I guess no one can be trusted...I get it, doesn't mean I have to like it *plfeet*.

It just concerns me that everyone is so distrusting and negative.  I know they have reasons to be...I watch the news (unfortunately)...

I may become the happiness fairy...carrying a vial of "pixie dust" to sprinkle on @$$holes to de-@$$hole them. 

But since this is real life and not a movie this may get me arrested...ya know fear of (insert bio-weapon/drug/other issue of choice).

Side Side Note - I have my moments of distrust as well.  I am not careless but I tend to trust my gut feelings about people/situations and it hasn't steered me wrong yet *knock on wood*.