Someone help me...I've been attacked by a flock of overly excited fairies

No but really...this is serious people!  You see I decided that for this race I am doing soon I am wearing a Tutu.  Because HELLOOOO TUTU!  And also because its a "fun run" for Christmas.  So I bought ribbon and tulle...its really not hard to make a freaking tutu and it cost a whopping $15.

My first mistake...I was on the phone when I bought the spools of tulle (hehehe).  Meaning I wasn't 100% focused on the task and missed a key word.  Look, I saw SPARKLES...I can't help but be drawn to the sparkles.  "Ooooo shiny" is my catch phrase or something.  I thought it was that crinkly metallic ribbon stuff woven in the tulle. I was so WRONG!  When I got home and opened the tulle I was immediately assaulted by an explosion of glitter.

WTF?!?!?!  And since I had now OPENED it...I couldn't return it...son of a b**ch!  So as I sat on my COUCH covered in Red, Green and Iridescent sparkles, I wondered how my life had come to this.   Rather than dwell on my mistakes I started making my Tutu.  Surely its just that loose stuff when you first open it...RIGHT?!!?!?  Nope *sobbing*.

But what am I going to do?  I am not buying MORE tulle...I am going to use what I have purchased DAMMIT!  So every cut...every loop...every knot I had more and more glitter blanketing my living room.  At one point I sneezed...

doG f**king dammit!

I was so focused on my tutu making that I was unaware of Speedy sitting below me on the floor.  He was LOVING the glitter.

WTF dog?!?!  He looked like he crawled out of Tinkerbell's @$$hole.  Great...  I finished the Tutu, YAY!  But how am I going to transport this to my race?  I am NOT putting it in my car...maybe in a bag in the trunk.  But I'm going to be running in this....CRAP!

All I can envision is me leaving a trail of Red, Green and Iridescent sparkles as I jog my way through the course. F**k it!  I am going to embrace my sparkles. 

Just call me Tink.

And everyone behind me will be like...

...Sorry 'bout ya.

Whatever...

and possibly beaten by a mob of angry runners

Anyways, I attempted to clean my living room, couch and dog...oh and cats...and me....GOD IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!  Vacuuming repeatedly didn't get it all.  I went shopping two days later and the clerk was like "ma'am you have glitter in your hair." *thinking* "What?  I've showered at least twice..." *said* "ahhhhhhhhhhh it really is the herpes of the craft world!"  As I shook my hair like a crazy person.  This got me some strange stares from other store patrons.  Side note....it has also made it's way into my bedroom *waaaaaahhhhhh*

It has been 4 days...FOUR DAYS...and there is still glitter.  Why is this happening to me?  I think it is reproducing. In conclusion...I love sparkly, shiny things but I hate glitter...unless its like this...

Who am I kidding?!?! I'd hate this....that $hit gets EVERYWHERE!!!  Hose yourself off...then we'll talk.