I have questions...mainly how does one wipe...?!?

I am all about "to each his own".  I really don't care what you wear, your style, your taste, etc.  I think its great when people have their own style.  But sometimes I have practicality questions...this is one of those times.

Don't get me wrong these look really cool but....

HOW....?!?!?

My lady parts just screamed in fear.  I really think I would severely injure my hoohah even with a wad of TP.

Now these aren't so bad but I feel like the jewels would catch on EVERYTHING....

I mean what if you want to...have a little fun alone...even with a toy, there is still the risk of vag stab. Gives new meaning to mid-cycle bleeding....  "Ooops, looks like I have a piercing now". 

Oh come on!  Do you have a hand maiden doing your hair?!?!!?  How do you TYPE?!?!  I am so confused....

Again...do these people not touch their hair?!?!  My hand would be stuck and I'd have to chop off 5".

*evil witch cackle* Come closer my pretty, so I can stab your eyes out *ahhhhahahahahaa* Wait didn't the chick in X-men have nails that grew like this?!?!?!

Sorry!  I mean go 'head gurl, if this is your thing.  I just think I would injure myself and/or not be able to perform daily functions...like peeing (wiping) without assistance!  I am clumsy enough without sharp objects attached to my fingers. I'd probably poke my own eye out.

Police Officer:  how'd she die?
Husband: She fell on her fancy nails
Police Officer: *sigh* that is the 5th one this month!

Yogi!!!!

No but really...how terrifying?!?!!?

Whoa! 

So he managed to open the screen but couldn't get the sliding glass door open (THANK GOD!).  And he was hella pissed because he couldn't get to the food.  I think I'd $hit a brick!

Poor guy just wanted some brownies.

Heeeeeey boo boo, I'ma smarter than the average bear!

Someone call the ranger, he's getting out of control!

And here I was thinking how impressive my quads are...not so impressive NOW!

Excuse me ma'am, I think you dropped...something...wait...where is that...string attached...

 

So I read the stupid article.  Actually the article isn't stupid but the f**king webpage is so loaded with so much CRAP that it sucks to view it.  It crashed Firefox TWICE!   

What kind of crazy kegel exercises is she doing?!?!

"She can also shoot things out of there. Anami thinks shooting pin pong balls from your vagina is 'every woman’s god given right'."  I swear I saw this in a movie once...and no it wasn't porn.  Was it her?!?!?

I just...count me impressed... "The process of lifting involves inserting a jade egg inside her vagina. She then ties the objects she wishes to lift and wraps the other end around the jade egg."

 

Maybe I need to rethink my exercise routines...of course if I started "lifting" random objects with my hoohah, I think my husband may get a tad concerned/scared.   Doing that is like the equivalent of a meat head flexing his muscles and crushing concrete or something.  Its an non-verbalized warning...f**k with me & I'll break "you".