Showing posts with label Worst Day Ever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worst Day Ever. Show all posts

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Because your insides will fall out, that is why!!!!!

"I'll take things my neighbor's have been hearing me scream for $1000, Alex"

Right, so we have a puppy.  Like a baby...well she was a baby when we got her...now she is..actually she is still a baby.  Anyways, she is old enough to be fixed so we did that...you know responsible pet owners and whatnot. 

Vet: Keep her calm.  No running, jumping, playing for 7 days
Me to Vet: Okay
Me in my head: how the f**k do you keep a lab/beagle puppy calm for 7 days?!?!?
Vet: Don't let her get at the incision
Me to Vet: Um...I need a cone then because she's crazy.
Vet: Don't get her wet
Me to Vet: Okay
Me in my head: What is she a f**king gremlin...also SE LA...its always WET!

We get home...she immediately jumps on the couch...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH no no no no no!!!!

So the cone of shame is going over so well...like she's not running in reverse trying to get away from it while screaming like a tortured baby.  No...not her...NEVER!

So we go get her a neck brace looking thing that is inflated.   Now she just looks like she wants to go swimming and is no longer screaming.  Score 1 for mom and dad. 
Not her but close

Over the course of 6 days:
She played
She ran
She jumped off the back of the f**king couch
And she was fine.  *whew*

We tried...she is just f**king crazy!  And we still have Speedy sooooo yea.  She needs a sedative!

The evening of day 6 (AFTER VET HOURS).  She somehow pops the neck brace...but its subtle so we can't tell. We realize it looks funny but its too late.  She managed to lick her incision.  She laid on her back and the two pieces of skin were gaping down the length of the whole incision.  Thank GOD she is mostly healed so it wasn't bleeding.  So I call the Em Vet and she's like I'm sure its fine.  Bring her in, I won't charge you to look at it. 

We get there "Ummmm I'm glad you brought her, we need to glue that back up".  

She didn't want to to sedate her again so a vet tech and my self restrained the INSANE pup while the Doc cleaned it, put antibiotics on it, and glued her back together.  Her new nickname is Humpty Dumpty.  

Meanwhile she literally screamed.  I've never heard a dog f**king scream but she did.  And then all 25 lbs of her kicked out one leg and threw a 4ft trash can across the room.  WTF dog. 

She's fine.  Back in the Cone and looking like a perpetually pissed off lampshade...

But she's fine.  Well except she is now in the cone for 5-7 more days...GREAT!


Tuesday, November 22, 2016

That's it, where is the "unlucky" rabbits foot...it needs to be salted and burned!

For real though, can we get a "reset the day button".  A do-over, like in video games.  $hit is going down fast lets try again. 

1.  My cable company *cough* Comcast *cough, cough* sucks real big donkey d**k.  I've tried and tried and tried and f**king tried to make it work with them and it just isn't (stupid contract keeping me in a bad relationship*grumble grumble*).  They will be fine for like 2 months and then I have to call and freak out because my service is $hit or because they billed me wrong or pick something, its probably happened!  Because of said $hitty service we bought our own cable modem for the interwebs and shockingly enough $hit suddenly works...you can't tell me they don't f**k with your stuff when they have access to it...I sound crazy but I don't think I am.  Anyways, I returned their CRAP modem and got a receipt.  This was in JULY!  It was removed for August, then in September it popped back up on my bill...hold up Mother F**ker what you trying to pull here?!?!?!?  I try to call and I can't get through.  The call immediately drops WTF.  I had FIVE OTHER PEOPLE try from their cell phones (all ATT) and they can't get through...I had someone from a Verizon phone call and it worked...hmmmmm. Also, landlines work....hmmmmm. Whatever, I call, I lose my $hit its credited back and I am told the phone issue is an ATT issue.  Okaaaaaaay.  They say its a Comcast issue (I'll get to that in the next).  I loud cap Comcast on Twitter and finally someone believes me because HIS phone which isn't in LA can't dial the 800# either...I think I heard angels sing. 
 
Anyways....October bill and November bills are fine and suddenly I get a letter "Ooooops we've been billing you wrong, you will see a $10 charge for your Wireless Gateway on the next bill".  What the actual f**k?!?!?!  I DON'T HAVE THAT ANYMORE!  So I try to call and the stupid f**king 800# wont work.  I don't have a landline so I loud cap them AGAIN on Twitter.  He was helpful but didn't believe me.  I sent a picture of the receipt and the letter.  He said "July?!?!?!" Yes f**king July!  Stop trying to bill me for stuff I don't have!!!!  It gets "fixed" after they call me.  And I am told again the phone thing is an ATT issue, call them.  Mother F**ker!!!!
2.  After the 1st insanity with Comcast in September, ATT does some research.  They can't see anywhere its blocked.  They reset my something to my phone.  They checked that I don't have 800#'s blocked (clearly, I don't because I can f**king call them).  They are very nice and concerned and trying to be helpful.  I get to a top tech dude and he is baffled.  They put in a service ticket.  They call me four days later and say its a Comcast issue and they will work with them to fix it.  K, thanks, bye.  After the most recent fiasco I call them AGAIN. I get another tech dude.  He basically does the same $hit and blames Comcast.  I finally had had enough and said "I don't care whose problem it is tell me HOW to fix it!" I told him it started after Baton Rouge and the surrounding areas flooded.  I know for a fact that a MAJOR ATT hub went under and we ALL had service issues for the next week.  So maybe check that and quit putting me off.  I think I stunned him with my "infinite" f**king intelligence.  Look dude I'm not a moron, I did my own investigation before I called.  He opened another ticket so they can see exactly what is happening and let me know.  Great....
3.  My 4 y/o f**king car decided that it wants to leak oil.  Why?!!?!? So I call two different dealerships that service my type of vehicle and ask questions.  Mind you I've already looked up recalls and known issues and *gasp* this is a known f**king issue with the y/m/m of my car *face palm*.  I leave detailed messages with the service admin for a tech or manager to call me but I leave out my knowledge of the issue, just say whats happening. 

  • Dealership 1 calls me back.  Oh that sounds like a cracked oil pan (mind you I haven't hit anything and it just started when the temp dropped below 35). More than likely that is it and it will cost roughly $625 because of labor and parts.  So I said, I've been told its a faulty drain plug.  So they say well probably not but if its that, it is $354 because of labor & parts.  I said the part is like $50...you can't tell me it will take you 2.5 hours to replace a plug....? They said yes...okay I'll call y'all when I am ready.
  • I get an email from Dealership 2 "We have received your inquiry on the (y/m/m of my current car).  That is an excellent choice!   A sales team member will make every effort to contact you within one hour or less to answer any questions you made in your initial contact and see how we can help you. We realize you have a choice when shopping for a vehicle and we thank you for giving us a chance to earn your business."  
    WHAT THE F**CK?!?! My response may have been a tad @$$hole-ish"
    Yea, I know a (y/m/m of my current car) is great...I own one.  I bought it from y'all....I wanted a quote about a repair that I've been informed is a flaw in many (y/m/m of my current car)'s...it leaks oil." less than a minute later I get a call from a service tech.  I explain the issue.  He says (without me saying anything about the "known" issue)  "Oh, they probably left the old gasket on the drain plug.  Each new oil filter has a new gasket.  If they don't remove the old one the drain plug doesn't fit as snugly so it leaks." I ask about cost...he said "do you need an oil change? That's all it will cost."
So based off this info...one dealership wants to charge me $600+ dollars to fix something that isn't wrong when the other dealership will fix it for $69. 'Scuse me while I scream into a pillow.  


4.  I went purchase something at a store on my way home.  There were 4 people in front of me at checkout.  I got to the counter.  Got my stuff rung up and the f**king system crashes.  Not just reboots...CRASHES. The poor clerk was so distraught.  He tried everything.  I couldn't leave...I needed to make that purchase.  45 min later I am finally on my way home.  Wine and soft PJ's are calling my name.
5.  I got home and one of the pups had had explosive poopies all over the place.  It smelled like something died in my house.  I legit started crying...and laughing...but mostly crying.  F**k a glass of wine & PJs, someone give me a bottle of Scotch and a punching bag!  
Yay for it being my last day of work for the week.  I don't think I can handle much more stupidity...