Do you ever get drunk....

....and just utterly embarrass yourself???

I don't drink often. Actually almost never.  I mean a glass of wine here and there or a beer but that's pretty much all.  Then I go out or am feeling carefree and for some reason think I am still in College.  And I, well, um, DRINK not just drink.  It's bad.  Well its fun(ny) and I make people laugh but when the glimpses of the night before come flooding back I want to crawl under a rock.  I thought about this because I read my fav blog today The Bloggess and laughed so hard I cried.  It was a post about search terms that lead people to her blog.  One stood out, okay well a few stood out.  You should read them, funny shit!  Anyway, one REALLY stood out, “Fuck off.  I’m fabulous.”  It stood out because I said something close to this the other day.  I mean I was totally joking, I think, but I said it none the less and then wondered if in my drink enhanced stupor I googled this and ended up on Jenny's blog. 

I don't even remember the context but I clearly recall, and by clearly I mean not clearly at all, someone teasing me and me being all giggly said "Oi, fuck off. I'm fabulous".   Which probably came out more like "oooooooooiiiiiiiii, frcusk uuff. I fablooos *fit of giggles*".   Either way, as suggested on her blog, I need this on a t-shirt because reasons. 

So I started wondering if I was internet-ing while incoherent-ish.  So I checked some of my social sites and yep I was!  Apparently, I was on a certain site that caters towards all things fan related.  Well it caters to other things but I use it for all things fan related.  And can I just say...I am FUNNY! 

Apparently I was having a WONDERFUL time slipping in Whovian jokes (among other nerdisms) and no one noticed cause they are not nearly as cool as me.  I'm like a bow tie (OMG am I still drunk?!?).  I know this because I was posting about it online thinking I was hilarious!

At some point, while discussing the lengths my friend will go to in order to continue looking young, I said "By the time its said and done all that's left of you will be a bitchy trampoline".  She laughed her ass off but had no clue what I was referencing.  I'm actually more surprised I didn't slip in a "moisturize me" joke.  Then my husband was playing the part of the only one who could get our nephew to stop yah yah-ing.  Others said "he is the baby whisperer" to which I  replied "oh he speaks baby...didn't you know? You are all peasants".  Come on....that's funny!  I vaguely remember saying these.  One I don't recall completely but thankfully typed some of it out had to do with a complete stranger who was being an ass, I hate douchey people. They make me stabby.  Except when I'm drunk, in that case they make me...weeeeeeeeell just read on.  I have no idea how but I made a "hermit" reference and he said "whatever freak, you have friends" and I said it was our 5 year meeting to discuss caves (I am aware this is way off from the original quote but I can see where I was going with it).  I'm pretty sure at this point my husband dragged me away to drink a lot of water.  Also, my friend kept correcting me because I said I thought a lot of things were "Shiny" even if they weren't at all reflective (oh geez).  Then the kicker.  I wiped out!  My leg just stopped working all together and I have the bruised knee to prove it.  And I said something along the lines of "it's cool just a leg power nap, better stay here I heard the other one yawning".  It may not have even been that close to the original quote but it was close enough.  Truthfully, I think everyone thought I was on drugs at this point because unless you have seen the shows I was attempting to quote, I just sounded like an idiot.  There were more (this went on for a while) but these were my funniest moments.  And during all of this is where I am 99.9% certain I said "Oi, fuck off. I'm fabulous".  Which is where this random blog post got started. 

I know these are not exact quotes but give me a break I was on at least my 4th glass of wine and maybe some rum and minimal food.  I am impressed I managed to remember said references, semi-coherently say them and manage to post it on the internet. 

Of course throughout the next day I would randomly groan to myself.  Not because I was hungover (I was surprisingly okay) but because I am not usually that outspoken and feel like a goober.  Oh well, C'est la vie.