Who knew lotion could be so dangerous...!

So my lovely bestie got me hooked on this monthly "soap" box. Its not all just soap though.  Its hair stuff and makeup and perfume oil and wax tarts and and and.  AND 99% of it smells amazing.  A while back it got me some weird attention when ordering food (see here).

Whenever I wear or use something I always have someone say "that smells so good, what is that?!?!"

Well it happened again...like a weird one...not a "oh that smells good".

This month was Jurassic Park themed *squeeeeeeee*

There is a Body Milk *snicker snicker* called "Spared No Expense" that smells like happiness at the beach.

So in the evening after I shower and in the morning before I dress I use it.  I've only had it since Monday, so not even a week.  Last month was 80's themed and there was a perfume oil called "Billy Jean" and it smells like summer and childhood memories. 

I don't have the scent descriptions in front of me but I can tell you they are soooo good.  Separately, I love them.  Well this week I've been wearing them together and *head explodes*. 

They mesh perfectly. 

Moving on, we had a visitor this week...a person I've NEVER MET.  Well he helped me with a couple of things in my office.  After two days, I guess he felt more comfy with me.  So we are talking and he takes a deep breath and says "You smell like sunshine and rainbows".  And I just...WHAT?!?!

I don't know what sunshine and rainbows smell like but that was.... well unexpected....

I said thanks but he had this weird smile .... 

He recovered quickly and it was all business and talks about our families.  Its fine, I think I just make people very stupid comfortable because of my personality.  Seriously, he wasn't being oogy, I think we became fast friends and I wasn't expecting that reaction from someone I knew less than 48 hours. 

He's not said anything again thankfully...he's probably embarrassed...that was a 13 on the 1-10 scale....

My husband had to peel me off the ceiling....

Okay not literally but close.

So I get this quarterly box from Fortune Cookie Soaps (FCS)...they also do a monthly box but I don't need that much beauty stuff (or do I?).  Anyways, I never signed up for that. 

Flash forward to August.  They announce the September Box will be HALLOWEEN THEMED!!! So I did what I said I wouldn't do an signed up for the damn box. 

So I get it (this was last month) and I am so excited I am about to pee on myself .  First things first...I opened the box and f**king screamed.  Not bloody murder but still *ahhhh* *giggle*. 

God Dammit!!!  Also in the box were fake maggots *rolling eyes*.  Its Halloween...yea yea yea.  So I am INSANELY excited.  Everything smells AMAZING!  I tried almost all of it within a day or so. 

Moving on.  I don't take baths normally...I take showers.  If I do, I don't usually use bubbles, bombs, oils, etc because my body is stupid and I usually have reactions that I'd rather not deal with.  With that said this box came with a bomb.  Its all natural/handmade stuff so I figured "Awww f**k it, ONE BATH CAN'T HURT." 

This was the bomb:

CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE BATH BOMB

Ingredients: Sodium Bicarbonate, Citric Acid, Zea Mays (Corn) Starch, Pure Dead Sea Salt, Magnesium Sulfate, Sweet Almond Oil, Fragrance and/or Essential Oils, Cosmetic Color.

OMG It's Jason, totally trying it.  Problem...I didn't READ the f**king description.  

"You’re doomed! You’re all doomed. There is a curse on Crystal Lake, a death curse. You’ve been warned. When you use this bath bomb, it’s followed by shadows and scents of peachy rings, lemon drops, and woodland flowers. Beware! There's a surprise inside..."

Anyways, I got all comfy in my hot bath and drop the bomb *giggle*.  It fizzed a bit.  Its blue and white *cool*.  Smells DELICIOUS *double cool*.  As the bomb fades away to the end red starts trickling out "Ewww...but okay cool".  I was leaning back relaxing when all of a sudden, something touched my leg 

"OMG there is something in the water with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I see this:

I jumped out of the f**king tub so fast I almost fell over the commode.  

Not realizing the commotion I caused, I was surprised when the significant other walked in.  He was like "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU" as I stood there naked and dripping all over the floor.  I pointed at the tub...he laughed at me..."Its plastic crazy lady".  Oh...OH....GOD DAMMIT!

So yea, they got me...like got me good.  So just in case you are wondering my heart works just fine...

 

Also, no weirdo reactions (sweet) aside from having a minor cardiac event.