The world is a dumpster fire...I mean Vampire...no I mean dumpster fire

And no place more like home *face palm*.

Innocent man killed by a cop.  Hold up...not just killed.  I mean, he was straight up murdered.  I know some people may not like to hear that but f**k... y'all it was bad...REALLY REALLY BAD.  Like Jesus H Christ, its 2020 right?!?  Why is this still happening?!??!  Have we not evolved enough to f**king NOT do this?  I know one bad egg but there have been quite a few bad eggs and now I'm worried about my cop friends that are legitimately good people....

Now the world is protesting because...are we not all HUMAN?!?!  Come on!  This is not acceptable, and it needs to stop (the killing & racism, not the protests). 

So tick another box off for Apocalyspe BINGO. 

So these protests I get and support, but holy $hit now I'm scared "Corona 2 - The Resurgence" is coming to a city near you in upcoming weeks.

Top that with a f**king Tropical Storm headed straight for LA and I mean June is starting off great...JUST GREAT!  So Cristobal decided it wanted to make history and be the earliest 3rd named storm on record so "yay, good for you". Its not a Katrina or Harvey but it looks to dump 10+ inches of rain on us, so I guess that's the flooding part of the Apocalypse. 

Now I see there is a football field sized "near Earth" asteroid floating around out there.  And while I know these are always out there, its 2020.  She'll probably just kick us while we are down and send a life ending rock hurdling into the Earth.  Except it won't end life just make it THAT much more f**ked up *ahhhhhhhh*.

Its cool, I mean we are already in June...OMG its only June....I feel like I've lived 10 years in 6 months...

Crap I almost forgot about the cannibal rats...because that doesn't sound terrifying....

Who clicked on a suspicious link? 
Did someone install Limewire???? 
Who dug up an old burial ground? 
One word, Jumanji! 
Clearly, the Earth's free trial of McAffe has expired, Good Luck and Godspeed. 

Time to go old school.

So we all died in 2012 and this is the final test before going up or down....right?!

2019 was...difficult for many.  Most were all happy it was coming to an end.  Thinking 2020 would be a great new start was naive at best.

Like 3 days into the new year we almost had WWIII.  I mean obviously a lot more needed to happen but the pissing contest and just general idiocy had most of us believing we were all going to die in the fiery fall out of a nuclear blast or freeze to death from the nuclear winter.

A couple weeks later Kobe Bryant dies in a freak helicopter accident along with his daughter, and nine other people.  It's not WWIII but it was a WTAF Universe moment.  I'm not a huge Basketball fan but I mean I know who he is and was heartbroken for the families, friends, and fans.

Then Australia was on fire.  Like no really the f**king contiennt was basically burning.  It had been going on for some time but seem to really take over in early 2020.  I (along with everyone else, I'm sure) felt so helpless watching people and animals lose their homes.  I mean I started following the Irwins to see how their Zoo was helping all the injured animals.  I bought items that were donated to to relief cause.  I donated to LEGIT save Australia campaigns.  I mean I know we all joke about everything in Australia wanting to kill you but we still need to save it!

Moving on, we started to hear more and more about this "nothing to worry about" virus in China.  The news said "its all good".  But social media posts from other areas seemed to say different. Then...then news was blowing up with cases all over the world.  Little onesie twosie things until *BAM* it's almost Mardi Gras and its officially here in the US and WTF is happening?!??!  Then one vacation was canceled because international travel was not recommended.  Then a case or 20 popped up in NOLA.  Another vacay was canceled.  I left my office on 3/11 not realizing I would not be returning for an indefinite amount of time.  It's been over 8 weeks... 

Amidst the pandemic Wildfires near Chernobyl ramped up increasing radiation readings in the area.

We had a freak hail storm.  Just out of the blue f**king hail when we were supposed to have "lite showers".  NO warning.  NO nothing just *ping ping ping*, "Mother F**ker!!!" In one city it was the size of my fist...MY FIST!  At least by me it was just tiny marbles but STILL!

The stock market crashed.

Oil went negative.  IT WAS TRADING NEGATIVE!

Now we are being told there are Murder Hornets.  I'm sorry...what?!?!  Ah yes...a hornet....bigger than my index finger.  Excuse me while I just drink Everclear, and cry in a corner.  Apparently their sting hurts (alot) but they really only target Honey Bees.  Oi, I like Honey Bees!

They also are predicting a more active than normal hurricane season...which that news can just f**k right off.

Seriously, who the f**k is playing Jumanji??!?!

To top it all off, people are now protesting the pandemic.  I'm sorry, what....? Well technically they are protesting the SAH orders but it's basically the same because both make about the same amount of f**king sense...zero.  I want things to open up too but safely and not at the cost of more lives.

Oh and apparently wearing a mask...you know to protect OTHER PEOPLE from your germy @$$ is a violation of constitutional rights or something.  As in my comfort is more important than your life so f**k you.  So we want to open back up but not take precautions to keep it from making a resurgence...makes sense *face palm*.

Sometimes I think we deserve $hit like this because as a whole humanity can be hella f**ked up.

They see me rollin'

On a happier note in this time of insanity I am a weirdo!

So since I have a serious case of cabin fever, I try to "get out" as much as possible NOT WITH PEOPLE at parks or in groups.  Usually in my back yard or I run in my hood while all the families are eating dinner.  It's awesome, there is like no one out and about.  But it sucks because no one is out and about.

Now I live in a safe area, I'd like to think but running the streets ALONE during the apocalypse is f**king creepy!  It's like walking around in  I am legend...

I keep waiting for Zombies on speed to come running out of the shadows, and then I remember....I am not that fast!  An 11 min mile is decent but not a Cheetah Zombie pace!!!

Today I decided to ride my bike instead.  I am faster on a bike, ha!  So I put one ear bud in (safety 1st) and went on my way.  Now I look like your typical soccer mom.  I am not a mom nor do I attend soccer games but I am a small-ish suburban blonde 30 something in Lululemon knockoffs and Nikes. 

Not my pic

So imagine as I rolled through my 'hood jamming to some...interesting music. I looked like a modern day Donna Reed singing "I got my twin glock .40s, cocked back. Me and my homies, so drop that"...

Anyways, as I came around the corner and saw one of our elderly neighbors on her porch and I realized singing "Hold up, wait up, shorty. "Oh aw wazzup, get my d**k sucked, what are you doin'?"" Was probably something I should stop doing while looking like....

I mean she couldn't have heard me...right...

I am hoping her hearing aids were off...

STAY THE F**K HOME!!!

Unless you are an essential worker.  In that case, you are my f**king hero and I don't know how we can every ever repay you for what you are doing to keep us healthy, fed, safe, etc during this INSANITY.

Also, in case you are actually 100% uneducated...just because your area doesn't have any/many reported cases yet DOESN'T MEAN JACK $HIT!  We had zero cases and now we are off the charts.  Take the f**king precautions NOW!  Pretend like everyone you meet is infected.  That way the few cases you do have don't explode into this Bull$hit happening around me.  I am now "locked" in until after my Birthday and am going to need copious amounts of wine/whiskey at some point. 

Note - Screw all you dip$hits that went party for St Paddy's Day AFTER they told us not to.  And the ding dongs that had a second line or crawfish boil this past weekend.  You are part of the problem and should be sterilized.

So in conclusion....STAY HOME!  Oh and wash your f**king hands you nasty creatures.

Rant Over......I need a drink.

I will never understand humanity/group think

Why oh why can't people just LISTEN!?!  I've been MIA because I don't know what to say.  But now as the $hit is literally hitting the fan, I don't know what to do with myself.

I am scared, honest to God scared.  This is serious and there are f**ktards out there still going on Spring Break, Still having parties, still pretending things are okay. Well newsflash they ARE NOT OKAY.   

COVID-19 is not a joke.  I've made my fair share of jokes but I 100% believe this is serious.   And now we are under lockdown.  Mainly because people can't freaking listen.  Our hospitals are basically overwhelmed.  And while it is possible I would be fine if I caught it, people I love may not be.  I am scared for my friends and family in medical.  For my family and friends who are older.  For my family and friends who are high risk.  I am scared!

And not to cause any additional panic but so should you!  Regardless of your beliefs, political or otherwise...I can't believe the government would intentionally tank the economy for something that isn't serious.  Whole Industries are disappearing overnight.  People are being laid off.  People are losing their sources of income.  People are DYING! And what are the masses doing?  Hoarding f**king Toilet Paper and tampons!!!!

This is a rambling jumble of thoughts but I am at a loss.  I am scared and I hate it.  I don't want my parents going to the store for fear they will DIE!  Do you idiots out there understand that???  Gen Z or whatever the college age people are who still went on spring break.  Or what about those "rich folks" from infected areas who went to their vacation homes and spread the virus to remote areas.  Or those parents who see school being out as a time to go on vacay. STOP THE INSANITY!

I'm going to bed now.  I'm going to try to sleep.  But I don't know if I will because all I can f**king think about is me and/or my husband losing our jobs because MY ENTIRE F**KING STATE IS LOCKED DOWN!

Can't we use some common sense???
Stop hoarding $hit!
STAY THE F**K HOME! 
If you just buy what you would normally buy, there would be no empty shelves. 
Flatten the f**king curve!
Seriously, why the hell do you need 200 rolls of TP????  This virus doesn't make you $hit yourself to death! 
Wash your hands! 
You know if I can't buy soap/hand sani that makes you more vulnerable because I can't be as clean....STOP HOARDING!
Don't touch your face! 
No one needs 32 loaves of bread, come on people!!!!
Did I mention STAY THE F**K HOME!