Fresh Meat!

That just sounds wrong doesn't it?

Well it's true. I've started talking to a couple more guys, hehehe.

New Guy Number 1:
He is from down the bayou. Met him on social network site. Accidentally ran into him in person after we started talking while going to lunch. Then went on real lunch date Saturday.

Pluses:
- Tall :D HAHAHA
- Smart
- Funny
- Kinda cute
- Loves LSU
- Gets my humor
- Likes Animals

Minuses:
- From down the bayou ;) haha jk
- He smokes (when drinking)
- Wears braces (but having jaw surgery soon to fix under bite)
- Works for same company as my Ex
- Says inappropriate things (very sexual content)

He's a very nice guy. I'd have to talk to him a little more to get a better vibe. But he kinda talks funny. It's because of the jaw issue so I try to look past it bc he is in the process of fixing it and that's superficial, right :P. I have a dirty mind as well so its hard to judge someone on that but I usually keep mine hidden at least until the second date, haha.

New Guy Number 2:
Met him on social network site. Just started talking. He's from BR. I haven't met him yet soooo I only have phone conversation and pics to go by.

Pluses:
- Average height (about 5'9")
- Looks sexy in pics
- Athletic (Plays soccer)
- Smart
- Loves LSU
- Large family
- He's a twin (:-) haha)

Minuses:
- He's a twin (if you know my friends you get this hahaha)
- He's a little younger than me
- He lives in BR

He's not ridiculously younger than me... only a few months older than my lil bro so it's kinda weird. But age is just a number, right? :P I guess I will have to talk to him a little more so I can get a better vibe, haha.

Did you know, I Attract The Crazies...

How is it that someone who hates DRAMA so much always has it find her?!?!?

I know this sounds like the eternal pessimist but when something/someone seems to good to be true...they probably ARE!

As you know I've had much drama with Internet Guy. I did like him A LOT but his insecurities are beginning to drive me batty. You see I kinda pulled away after the whole "You wont find anyone as understanding as me" bit, he pulled a couple months ago. Well we had yet ANOTHER talk last Thursday night. He showed up in the area where I live so rather than have him try to find my house I went meet him at a bar to "talk". We came full circle about how I do not want to be in a relationship and he is not going to change my mind. If he wants more, move on etc etc etc. After that 2 hour conversation I thought we were all good. Meaning either he would move on or just deal with it.

Flash forward to Friday. I was working for promotional company and AS ALWAYS I put where/when I was working on one the the social network sites (I'm only friends with people I know/trust). Anyways I was working 3 places that night and Internet Guy showed up at the last one o_O. I don't care if people come see me but I always tell EVERYONE the rules. I cannot talk to people I know, just a quick hello. My 'guy' really shouldn't be there at all but if he is should not interact with me or interfere with my job in any way etc. Evidently, he thought he was excused from these rules and broke every one of them!

First he walks in and walks straight to me getting in between me and a few customers I am TALKING to!!! Then gets mad when I say "I cannot talk right now I am working." He storms off and sits on the other side of the bar GLARING at me as I talk to customers trying to promote my product! Well as I was leaving I literally ran into a guy friend of mine. WE exchanged good-byes and I went to tell Internet Guy bye. Before I can get around the bar he comes bolting out of no where and stands right in front of me. I told him I was walking over to tell him bye. He said "No you weren't you were leaving". I was like, WHAT?! He asks me to wait for him to pay his bill. I said I can't...because I can't hang out at a place after the promo ends. He FREAKS. He says __________ has been hanging out with you all night. (My friend). I was like HUH!? I said stop!!!!! Then walked out.

He calls me about 7 times but I was in the car with another girl I was not about to answer. When I got to my car I answered. He proceeds to tell me how suspicious I was, mean, acting weird, etc. I was like WTF!!! I was working! He says, he's going to call me back and hangs up. Not 5 min later I get a text from my friend saying "HELP PLEASE!" I was like OMG, he did not. Yep he sure did. He cornered my guy friend that was at the place and proceeded to GRILL him about me and what exactly was our relationship etc. I was PISSED when I talked to my friend. When I talked to Internet Guy again, I was informed how horrible of a person I am. Now I was SOBER, he not so much :P. Anyways, after I endured this verbal attack I went OFF. I told him I can't deal with his insecurity and asked in what reality did it make sense to corner a friend of mine and grill him with questions about me. After I returned the verbal attack. I ended my conversation by saying, "You could have gotten me fired, You could have lost me a great friend, and you lost me. The slightest chance you may have had with me is GONE. We all know you were jealous of ______ even though we have nothing more than a friendly relationship. Do not call me oh and by the way HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, a-hole!"

He tried to call a few more times, I did not answer. Like I said before, I attract the crazies!

Mid Life Crisis...REALLY?!?!

How old do you have to be to have one of these? And why do they happen?

So I thought this was something that only happened in movies because I've never known someone who actually had a Crisis...I've known those that have second thoughts but not total breakdown.  

Today I had the most horrible day...not because of what a guy did to me but because of what he did to one of my very close friends.  You see the couple I am referring to has been married for MANY years, they have two beautiful/smart kids and are pretty much a perfect fit. Until recently!!!

She broke down to me.  Over the past few months she has noticed her hub slowly pulling himself away from her.  They haven't been intimate, barely talk, he goes out a lot and comes home with alcohol on his breath.  She said she tried talking to him but he said he's fine.  Wel she got a HUGE cell phone bill.  When she checked it she realized one number that was on there ALOT.  And she knew it right away...its one of their good friends. 

She confronted him about it when he finally strolled in and immediately he said, want me to leave.  No " there's nothing going on"  or "its not what you think".  His first response was, want me to leave.  That right there admits guilt...RIGHT!?!  Well they talked a little but their kids were there.  One thing he managed to get out was " I'm just not happy and I haven't been for about a year now".  My heart dropped when she told me this.  I had a flash back of my failed relationship last year.  Although we were not married and have no kids, we had the same weird confrontation.  The "I'm just not happy."  

She cried herself sick last night.  I didn't know what to say, all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her it would be ok.  He swears he never had an affair but he talked to her for HOURS everyday and texted all day long.  If it wasn't physical, it was still an affair.  It was an emotional affair!!! 

My friend and him talked again after the kids left.  He tried to blame EVERYTHING on her. He said he needs love too.  That everything is so routine.  That when they were intimate he felt like she wasn't there.  Although I'm sure there are things she can do different, I am also sure he's not perfect either!!!  He hurt her!  He crushed his wife, the mother of his children, the woman he supposedly loves.  And all he could say was "don't you ever think about what could have happened?  What if we should have followed a different path?  Haven't you ever thought about being with other people?"  She said NO NEVER.  He still stuck to the nothing happened but it was only a matter of time before the affair went past emotional...  

He finally realized what a douche he's been when she told him what their daughter said.  About a week or so ago she said "Mommy what's wrong with daddy?  He's not him anymore.  Are you all getting a divorce?"  Then she told him how she knows about his going out and drinking when she's not around because her son told her!  I'm pretty sure that made him feel like ass.  I HOPE IT DID!

He called her while I was talking to her to check and see how she was.  Guilt is a nasty thing to come to terms with.  

It made me realize how DUMB some men are.  They get this bug up their ass as they age.  They start to think about what might have been instead of appreciating what they have.  He is willing to throw away a wonderful marriage and beautiful wife because he can't stop thinking about what he missed out on because he had kids and got married kinda young.  He says its so routine... well of COURSE it is, they have two kids and just enough money to make ends meet... how are they supposed to break the routine???  She's tried, I know she has because she tells me, but they are always watching their money soooooo its a vicious vicious cycle.

Whether he wants to admit it or not he cheated on her, in a way, with another woman.  He strayed from his wife and family because he was feeling insecure!  He didn't try to fix it he just pulled himself away.  Which scares the crap out of me.  I want the happily ever after .  I want to fall in love and start a family but I am scared to death because I don't want to go through that.  I went through something similar once and THANK GOD we were not married with kids because I was a nut case after and I still don't know what happened.  I still have no idea why I wasn't good enough for him.  I'm glad things happened because now I can find someone who will treat me right but holy s--t, I don't think I could do it again.

Ok I think I am done freaking out now.  I still want to KICK my friend's husband's ass right now.  I hope to God he realizes what he is giving up.

On Cloud Nine - Hahaha

"Like sands through the hour glass...these are the days of our lives"

Hahaha. Yes that is right I feel like I live in a Soap Opera these days. So update from previous post... Y'all should not let me blog when I am PMS-ing....I get all overly emotional, haha. I mean it was real to an extent and he (internet guy) is really sweet but I want a guy not an emotional needy mess :P.

So why the Soap Drama you may ask...? Well ya see wha ha happen wuz...haha. What happened was I got a text on Sunday (day after I went out for Internet Guys B-day "Bash") from Friend's cousin. He made a comment about how he guessed I never wanted to see him again bc we haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving. I was like Uh...how's that all my fault. Anyways he asked me to call him Monday...OkeeDokee. Well we talked and come to find out he thought I didn't want him to call me for whatever reason. He said he didn't want to annoy me by calling too much. I was like it wouldn't bother me, it's ok to call. Then I told him I was feeling the same way...like I didn't want to cross a line by calling too much. After quite a legnthy conversation he asked if I wanted to come see his new house tomorrow (yesterday by this post). Sure why not.

Well we really just hung out and watched movies...like no major makeout time BUT I really like being with him... or the idea of him.  He's a guy.  He shows he likes me but with no DRAMA.  Now I will NEVER be with him bc... well bc he disappears for days at a time but thats ok.  I get it.  He got burned...burned bad by an ex and the fact that I still live with mine WEIRDS him out.  But I need to find another one, like him but not so... cautious!  Like I said i get it but if you know me you know my living situation is completely platonic now.  

As for internet guy... I don't know what to do.  I am trying REALLY REALLY hard not to crush him but he doesn't take a freakin' hint!  I like him...I do but I can't get past his... well the things he tells me will change but don't.  I have my own trust issues and the whole living at home/dead end job/DRAMA thing is a real turn off.  

Plus, we don't look cute together...I know that sounds SUPER shallow BUT its true.  We just don't fit...visually.  Oe maybe thats just me, I dunno.  Ask my girl that came to dinner the other night what she thought ;) HA.

So seriously stop letting me blog when I am full of hormones, its just a BAD idea :D  haha.  

Feeling really really bad now...

Ever had your eyes opened suddenly?

So the holidays have been rough. Fun but rough. I realized today that I may have screwed up... You see Internet guy really really really wanted to meet my family and friends for xmas and I said flat out no. Mainly because many of my distant fam doesn't know about me and my ex and that would have been WEIRD for us both plus my friends...they are VERY protective of me and I wasn't sure how'd they react. And thats a HUGE step for me. My family and friends are everything to me. I don't just bring guys to meet them. Well it caused a HUGE fight. And I was so mad at how he talked to me and told me I didn't care. Plus I felt like he just didn't get it. SO I gave a little and said he could meet two of my girls xmas night if we did something. He took that as drive to the area and wait for me... then get mad when I don't call. Well Christmas night was the last straw for me. He fussed at me and told me I was inconsiderate and then hung up. Well I was PMSing and pissed so when he called back I didn't answer.

Flash forward to today (Dec 27). I read a survey on social networking site and realized I was overly bitchy. I really hurt him and was completely insensitive to that. I really wasn't trying to be but I was. And I pride myself on knowing what to say and reading people and this time I was totally off!

All he wanted was my attention, thats it. He wasn't trying to force himself into my family and friends (although thats what it seemed like to me) and just wanted me to give a little and I am so keen on being independent I shut him out and obviously sent mixed signals. Now I still stick to my list of needs from a man but today I realized he will meet more of them than I let on and I was just trying to justify not being with him. I talked to him today and feel awful. I don't want a relationship, I think he knows that but I like him... ALOT more than I thought. I don't want him out of my life, I thought I did but I don't. I think my problem is see things progressing and I am scared. I can see us together and I am freaking out. I pushed him to act this way by being selfish.... which honestly I am entitled to after the last 5 years but he doesn't deserve the brunt of my excess baggage, right? So we talked on the phone today for just a few minutes while he was at work and I apologized for dragging him into this and he apologized for over-reacting. Not a great conversation but an OK one.

I still think he has alot to do before I could ever consider him my boyfriend... like deciding what he wants to do with his life, growing up and moving out. Oh yea and that whole mistrust thing. But I have alot to do too. I have to not treat him like he will crush me and screw up like my ex, make progress with getting out of my house and realize I will never be happy in another relationship until I get over my fear of men.

I think I am done now, I need to stop crying before I go out with my girls later. *sigh* I really hate drama and this time I caused it...!!!!!!!

**EDIT - 12/29/08 - Ok so we talked ALOT right after I wrote this and last night. He annoyed the S**T out of my right after but last night we were cool. He says I have a lot to do to make it up to him. I pretty much said what you see is what you get, deal with it. And I think we are cool. I'm not going to be with him, nor do I want to although we mesh really well. I guess we'll see what happens and who comes along in the mean time ;). K going back to work now :D

I think I'm losing patience in my 'old' age... :P

Is it true that the sheer act of having a penis makes you less intelligent?!?

I think it is true, personally!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay I guess I have to explain.

Last Friday I went to this Christmas party thing with a girl friend of mine. Well the guy from 1st, 1st Date in 4.5 years entry (aka, bad kisser) was there. I've seen him around here and there and we are cool. We had the lets be friends talk, like 2 months ago and everything has been fine since then.

Yea well evidently his "lil brain" overtook his brain and he forgot about that on Friday. You couldn't peel him off me with the jaws of life. I mean everywhere I turned he was right there. There was zero concern for personal space! Well about half way through the night he decides he is going to pick me up off of the ground. There is an action shot of it...he gets real close and I am thinking ok picture time, then he picks me up, like 3 feet off the ground :P I was not happy. Wait it gets better, he does it at least two more times throughout the night. The last time he did it I believe my exact words were "put me down M____ F____ or I will make it so you walk funny for a week!" Or something along those lines :P Not to long after that last incident we left.

But that wasn't the only thing. He kept getting really close to my face and hanging on me. Finally after worming my way away from him for the upteenth time I started poking and punching him in the gut. It didn't work. He started trying to tickle me (which I can hold that in quite well most of the time so he stopped fairly quickly)! Then he started tickeling my friend....WTF!?! It was a nightmare. THEN I am sitting on a bar stool (about 5 or so minutes after he picked me up the last time) and I feel hands on my waist...but not just on me...UNDER MY SHIRT! I almost died. I looked at my girl friend and was like, there are hands under my shirt...she was almost speechless. Soooo we left. Wait it gets better.

I got 6 texts the next day, one asking what I was up to on Sunday (I never replied). THEN I get this via social networking site:

"Okay, I was thinking about Friday night and why NOLAGurl was hitting me the entire night. And this is what I came up with. Back in the caveman days, they use to show their interest in the other person by hitting them because that was the only way they could communicate. And as the night went on and the bottles of alcohol were being consumed, the hitting continued even more which is another sign of the truth. Drunks, not saying you were drunk but drunks tend to tell the truth when the have been drinking.
So, what do u say to that? LOL"

I was going to reply with "Aw thats cute wishful thinking" but instead (I was in a horrible mood last night) I replied with "Actually where I come from hitting/punching usually means someone is pissed off because you are in their personal space and they want you to move. Also I was un-aware that the new adult way to let a girl know you like her is to repeatedly pick her up, even after she politely asks you to stop."

He didn't get the hint. I got a Voicemail this morning saying "Hey its ____ just wanted to say good morning!" OMG really?!? Ok I am outta ammo, any suggestions?

I hate mechanics!

Do I have DUMB BLONDE tattooed on my forehead?!?

The answer is NO! OK so Friday (yes the day AFTER Thanksgiving) I went to get a new tire. You see the other day I noticed it was low and filled it up. By Friday morning it was low again, oh joy :P. So I took the tire off and saw it was REALLY REALLY worn. I put it back on and took off the other back tire (I figured if one is worn so is the other and I'll need two). Much to my surprise it looked almost brand new! So I call around in the small burb I live in to see who had my tire. My usual mechanic couldn't get it in until Tuesday (can't do that). NO PLACE had my freaking tire in stock!!!! Well except this one national tire chain place. Fine, whatever, I'll go there.

I tell the guy I need 1 tire and an alignment. The guy tells me it'll be an hour. Ok yay, whatever I have a book. TWO hours later I get my car back. I was so glad to leave bc the football game was about to start and I wanted to see it, plus I was STARVING!!! Well I am driving down the highway and I notice something funny...my steering wheel is CROOKED!!!!! Like not just slightly pulling to the left like it was before, it was off by about 20 degrees. WTF, it was NOT doing that when I brought it in!!! I was pissed! Well I was almost to this chicken place, so I got lunch and headed back to the idiots to get it fixed.

They see me walk in and are like "Uh oh". I tell them whats up in the calmest tone I could sum up. The guy says "Did Shawn or Duckie work on her car" I was like I dont give a flying F--K who did it, fix it. Well they decide it was Duckie. I almost DIED when he walked out. He had on 4 inch thick glasses and was cross eyed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok I am all about equal employment oppertunity but SERIOUSLY, he was doing an ALINGMENT, how can you align my wheels if you are cross eyed?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Well normally I am quite tight lipped but I couldn't bite my tongue. I was like, "No! No way, I want someone ELSE to fix it, sorry." I caused such a fuss they said "OKAY"

Another HOUR goes by (I missed most of the 1st half of the game :P) and Duckie comes and brings me my keys and apologizes. I was like, really, whatever. So I took off. It seemed to be fine, but I knew the true test would be the interstate.

Later that night I was booking it doing 60-65 MPH down the interstate, the car was jerking to the left (never did that before). It was only 7:30 and I knew they closed at 8:00. I called and went off. I was like "Um you might remember me...." And I went through ALL that happened earlier. They guy didn't know what to say but bring it back in the morning. I talked to my friends husband and he said this place is BAD NEWS. They Eff up cars all the time, I should never go there again (awesome, wish I woulda known that before).

FLASH FORWARD to Saturday at 7AM, they have no POWER! Can my luck get any better????????? Bring the car back finally :P, aw shucks duckie wasn't there. Well they fix it in like 20 min. YAY!!! After I know the car is ok. I caused a scene. I demanded a refund and promised to write an awful review. They said but I got a tire and an alignment. I said I will happily pay for the tire but there is NO WAY in hell I am paying for the alignment. They tried to argue, then I started talking about how I heard about their poor business practices when it comes to changing oil, fixing alignments, etc. Well since I was causing yet another scene in-front of other customers they gave me a refund to shut me up. HAHAHAHA :P And of course as I was leaving I said they lost a good customer and that I would make sure no one I knew came in there ever again, then I recommend the same to people staring at me as I left. Hey I can be a 'B' when I need to be!

So I am pretty sure they hate me, but I don't care. They effed up my lil car, you don't mess with me or my car.