I am such a pessemist sometimes!

Why can't I just be happy!?!

OK so I have gone on 5 dates with younger guy and we are REALLY hitting it off. He seems to like me a lot and I definitely like him. Ya know how I know...? Because I have talked about him to my friends...I don't do that. Ask a twin...getting me to talk about my dating life is like PULLING teeth hahaha.

We talk on the phone and text quite often which texting, yea I do that a lot but I hate talking on the phone but I talk to him soooooooooooo yea.

He's smart, funny, cute, fun, motivated, good hearted, understanding...shall I go on? I know he has flaws too... like smoking (blah), not the greatest job (but he is working on that...he had TWO interviews last wed...), kinda stubborn (I have NO room to talk there haha). But anyways I really like him. But I keep waiting for him to be a nut case! What's wrong with me hahaha. I am trying to surpress it :D.

I had a big scare though last night (we hung out for a few hours after work). You see I kinda SUCK at lying. And I haven't really said anything about my living situation. I mean he knows I have a roommate and that said roommate is male. Well last night we were talking and it slipped out. I was waiting for the "I don't think I can handle that" talk. Instead I got the "I like you way too much to have something like that get in the way" talk. I was like "I know I understand its weird, I'll get my...wait what?!" He asked questions. I explained situations. And he understood. He did say I am a bigger person than him. He left EVERYTHING to his Ex...just left. I cannot do that. I have WAY too much invested in the house...plus my name is on the mortgage and it's hard to find anything else when you have something like that on your credit :P.

But he said he trusts me...which he should...but it surprised me because most men cannot get past the living with a person of the opposite sex thing, much less an EX! He also said it helps that he can tell we don't really talk (me and Ex). Me and Younger Guy talk at night before I go to bed. He said if I was hiding something that wouldn't happen. Plus he's heard us interact when he is on the phone and he said its very roommate like. AND I stay out till all hours of the night with him and no one calls looking for me. Hahaha.

*sigh* I REALLY REALLY REALLY like this guy. Even to the point that he is maybe going to meet my friends this weekend... SHOCKING I know!!! I told him if he wanted to meet up with us at a festival this weekend he could. He said he was glad I asked. He wants to meet them but he would NEVER invite himself or ask to be invited. He knows I had issues with Internet Guy and well one he's not like that and two he didn't want me to be like OMG no way. Hahaha.

So that's right chickadees if you are going on Saturday with me to said festival there is a good chance you will meet Younger Guy ;) Be nice please, hahaha

Fresh Meat!

That just sounds wrong doesn't it?

Well it's true. I've started talking to a couple more guys, hehehe.

New Guy Number 1:
He is from down the bayou. Met him on social network site. Accidentally ran into him in person after we started talking while going to lunch. Then went on real lunch date Saturday.

Pluses:
- Tall :D HAHAHA
- Smart
- Funny
- Kinda cute
- Loves LSU
- Gets my humor
- Likes Animals

Minuses:
- From down the bayou ;) haha jk
- He smokes (when drinking)
- Wears braces (but having jaw surgery soon to fix under bite)
- Works for same company as my Ex
- Says inappropriate things (very sexual content)

He's a very nice guy. I'd have to talk to him a little more to get a better vibe. But he kinda talks funny. It's because of the jaw issue so I try to look past it bc he is in the process of fixing it and that's superficial, right :P. I have a dirty mind as well so its hard to judge someone on that but I usually keep mine hidden at least until the second date, haha.

New Guy Number 2:
Met him on social network site. Just started talking. He's from BR. I haven't met him yet soooo I only have phone conversation and pics to go by.

Pluses:
- Average height (about 5'9")
- Looks sexy in pics
- Athletic (Plays soccer)
- Smart
- Loves LSU
- Large family
- He's a twin (:-) haha)

Minuses:
- He's a twin (if you know my friends you get this hahaha)
- He's a little younger than me
- He lives in BR

He's not ridiculously younger than me... only a few months older than my lil bro so it's kinda weird. But age is just a number, right? :P I guess I will have to talk to him a little more so I can get a better vibe, haha.

I feel like such a snob!

Is it possible to be a bitchy snob and not really realize it?

Well in my defense I have NEVER seen myself as a snobby person. I mean I can be at times but for the most part it just doesn't come naturally to me, I am generally nice to everyone. But I am finding as I get a little older I am less tolerant of people and their situations...especially if they can change it.

You see my internet guy and I "made up" after my last post. We are okay I guess but I am still a bit leery of him. He says okay with not being "with" me, but I don't know if I fully believe him. Anyways as I was showering last night (hush I do lots of thinking in the shower), I started thinking about my expectations and what I want in a significant other. Some things are superficial but I think they might be important. So here goes.

When I was younger all I cared about was my connection to the other person.
* Compatibility
* Sexual Attraction
* Interests
* Level of 'Fun'
* Level of Jealousy
* Etc etc etc
All that future and job stuff didn't really matter to me...

Now that I am more mature other things tag onto that list like... (don't laugh)
* Type of Job
* Level of enjoyment in said job
* Financial responsibility
* Future goals and wants
* Level of intelligence
* MUST LOVE DOGS

After all this thinking in the shower I've decided the men I usually choose do not meet enough of these standards. I don't need/want a Dr or Lawyer when I say Type of job, I mean does he work in a dead end industry, make next to nothing and do nothing but B%*&H about it constantly...even though he KNOWS he can do better. Hmmm, I wonder if I am talking about someone in particular.... I know, I know I am a b%*&h.

Anyways, I don't need or want a Mr. Big but I do want AND need someone who can take care of themselves. I need someone who is not scared to venture out on their own. I need someone... like me, DOH!

I guess I have finally come to the conclusion that...
"I ain't settling for just getting by, I've had enough so so for the rest of my life, Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high, Just enough ain't enough this time, I ain't settling for anything less than everything..."

Ok now that I am done breaking out in song, what do I do. I like Internet Guy but my shower time made me finally accept why I wont be with him. He doesn't meet enough of the criteria I had subconsciously created in my head. He meets 4 of the connection criteria but he fails a big one... he gets really jealous and he doesn't say anything, he bottles it up and then EXPLODES (not good).

But on the second list he meets only a couple. It's not that he has a bad job per se but he complains about it all the time and says he really needs to find a new one but then does nothing. For gods sake he has a college degree and is fairly smart he can do WAY better but he chooses not to. Just like he chose not to go to the better college because he wanted to take care of his family (honorable but questionable) or chooses to still live with the fam even though he could easily move out. To me it's like he's scared to move on. And that scares me. He's never been on his own, he's never had a roommate, he's never had to live pay check to paycheck to make rent or buy groceries. He's never been...an adult. I mean he wholly depends on his 'girl' to have her own place because he still lives at home (he wants to act like an adult but doesn't have the means to do it :P).

My other dilemma. Best Friend's Cousin meets WAY more of my silly criteria. But we don't have the same emotional connection... well we might but we haven't had enough dates to figure that out yet :P haha.

Anyways I am still not ready to "pick" a guy but I am ready to do better. I deserve to do better. I deserve a man that will respect me, wants to take care of me and himself, wants to be with me and makes ME happy...right?