Yo, that ain't Mickey

So I went from living in a re-purposed swamp (suburb of a suburb) to a suburb.  Anyways, I've had just as much if not more Wildlife at the new place...WTF?!

Its because I live near a canal...has to be...right?!  We've had all sorts of interesting critters *yay*.  I don't mind really except my dogs try to play with them and then I start yelling like a banshee and its just not good!

So the other night we had a low key BBQ and hung out.  Around midnight I went outside to close the grill and let the pups tee tee before bed.  As I was reaching for the grill handle in my blissfully buzzed state I noticed eyes...

then brown/gray fur...

then a tail...

just below the grate....

my brain put it together very slowly okay (beer is good, yea). 

Not my pic but something like this was in my grill

I didn't freak out, I just said "um, hello there Ratatouille". 

It was frozen staring at me breathing super fast. 

"Sweetie...there seems to be a terrified mouse taking refuge in our grill".  He responded "just close it, he'll go away".  What?!?

I got the pups who didn't seem know where it was and backed up to the door.  I didn't want it to try to run inside.  About 10 min later I am getting ready for bed and hear chaos outside, hmmmm. 

He tried to "kill" it...it went under our slab...GREAT!

The next morning I was greeted by a rather large intact male tom cat.  We do not have a male cat or an outside cat for that matter.  He is gray...with white paws and a white chest.  "Ummmm hello....". 

He jumped up on our bench and demanded scritches.  He looks healthy so I am guessing a neighbors kitty.   He went to the "hole" where the mouse disappeared *hmmm*. 

So yea, its not Ratatouille...I am 99% certain the real life Tom & Jerry have claimed my yard.  Tom tried to come in (not happening).  So we made an arrangement.  He can hang out by my house and I will give him scritches if he catches and kills Jerry.  He said "re-owwwwwww" and nibbled my arm.  I think that means deal.  It might mean "feed me b**ch I'm hungry" but I'm choosing to believe we have an understanding.

I feel like mine may have started with, "Hey, hold my beer".

So I saw this on Imgur or Tumblr or Pinterest or...I don't recall which one, I just saved it.  Anyways, I saw it and just keep laughing.

Yes I saw the comments above and yes they are funny...DUCK!

First let me say, I noticed in the comments on the site I was on that some people don't know what a Birth Mark is.  A birth mark is something you are BORN with.  Meaning, it doesn't pop up later in life...those are usually called Moles, Sunspots, Age spots, or Scars.  Birth Mark = a MARK on your baby body that was there when you popped out your momma or shows up shortly after. 

Why is this funny...weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell...I may or may not have a Birth Mark on my lower butt cheek/upper leg.  Meaning, if this is true then I died from a wound in the @$$.  Maybe I was shot...maybe stabbed...or MAYBE I said "hold my beer" and some "here's your sign" type injury occurred.  Add that to I was probably just as clumsy and well....

I don't know if you've ever jumped into a murky river or lake but those f**kers usually have sticks/logs/etc and they HURT!  Maybe that is why I have a slight "fear" of murky water.  My dumb@$$ former self jumped @$$ first into a river and was impaled.  And then eaten by a gator (heheheheHA).

I also happen to have a perfect dark circle on the back of my shoulder (born with it).  While that doesn't seem life threatening, I guess if it happened a long time ago dying of infection was probably an issue.  Not as "fun" as the other one.  Weeeellll maybe if we think of it as a heroic act saving someone.  Who am I kidding I probably fell while running with scissors...how it impaled me from the back is...I am just THAT talented.  I will say though, that one gets A LOT of attention.  For some reason when people see it they have this uncontrollable urge to poke it..."Um 'scuse you". 

No really, I've had complete strangers touch it.  WTF?!?  Its not gnarly or anything, just a flat mark.  So back in the day, people called it my "button"...don't push my BUTTON(s)! 

People do NOT poke the other one, well my husband does, but he is allowed.  If a stranger "poked" that one, we would have a problem.  I usually use it as a gauge.  If I bend over and you can see my mark...shorts are too short...or I just shouldn't bend over...

Conclusion:  I either died very heroically or I spazzed out or I was shot in the @$$...the possibilities are endless.