Why do I get strange looks when in public?!?

My husband still claims me, so suck it all you haters!

So we went to the zoo.  No we didn't bring children, just us...two adults...that is not weird!  I love the zoo :)

Anyways, we were in the reptile exhibit and this happened:

So I said "Do y'all hear that?" *crickets* "No?  It's cool I speak Parseltongue. It's asking if we know 'Harry Potter'",  My husband laughed.  The girl across from me laughed...the others nearby rolled their eyes and gave me that "Oh my God what a freak" stare.  Geez, I was trying to be cute, get the stick out your butt!  The snakes are RARELY active so since this one was being all awake, I decided it was an appropriate time for a fandom reference. 

Later on in another exhibit this happened:

I leaned over to the husband and said "I know they specialize in exotic creatures but this seems excessively dangerous!"  Again, he laughed.  So I *snorted* and *whispered* "Don't Blink".  But the people next to me gave us one of those "is she special or something" stares.  Obviously they don't know about the lonely assassins.  That and there was like crickets or something in here...possibly a snake but it was out of sight. 

Also, after the zoo...well quite some time later I was home and singing in my yard while gardening when this lovely creature ventured out of its hiding spot, possibly proving that I do in fact speak Parseltongue. 

Me: "Ahhhh, what tha, *almost falls over in a fit of nervous giggles*"
Snake: *flicking tongue* 
Me:  "soooo are you poisonous, you don't look poisonous...cuz we can't be friends if you are"
Snake: "Can you let me out of the box, please?"
Me: "Hmmm, maybe we'll just release you in the woods"
Snake: *hisss* "Fine, just don't chop off my head like you did my brother"
Me: "Oooo yea sorry 'bout that"

Seeeeeeeeeee I totally speak snake, that conversation totally did NOT happen in my head.

So I decided to start walking/jogging in my 'hood. . .

But since I live in the deep south and its hotter than Hades down here the only time to go is in the morning.  I mean its still hella hot but its survivable. 

Well I usually go one specific way but recently decided I was going to change it up.  Ya know not leave at the same time every morning, skip days, go different routes, etc.  Anyways, I clearly do NOT pay attention to all the details when I am driving through my subdivision.  I seriously almost had a heart attack this morning and then laughed until I fell over in my neighbors yard.

I was just la la la-ing along, one ear bud in jamming out when I stifled a scream and fell against a car behind me.  I was maneuvering around a vehicle blocking the sidewalk when I saw a figure in my peripheral.  My neighbor has a jungle-esque theme going on in their front yard, like organized chaos.  It's not overgrown...just a lot of plants, I guess an oasis maybe.  There are these huge fern/palm things that tower over the front walkway and partially block the view if the front door and porch.  There was a person behind the huge leaves. He/she was taller than me (which isn't saying much) and extremely pale in the early morning light and they were like peeking through the leaves *internal screaming*.  It took a few seconds for my brain to register it was a statue.  Clearly it is new because I drive past here everyday and I've never noticed it, plus it was still very bright white, not weather worn.  So I started laughing.

Then I realized what it was a statue of...a GIANT angel *ahhhhhhhhhh*.  Without thinking I said "Don't Blink".  Then I lost my shit!  I was laughing so hard at myself I fell in the grass and was on the verge of snorting.  Thank goodness no one was outside.  But I kept my eyes on it just in case.  Of course when I was passed it enough, I turned my back and kept going.  Thankfully it didn't blast me to the past.  I don't think I could handle that alone.  But as I was jogging off I was reciting "Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck." And I couldn't stop smiling and laughing at how big of a nerd I am.  

So as you can see I almost died this morning.  Well not died but nearly thrown into another time all together!  I can't believe such a dangerous creature lives so close to me.  I'll have to remember to snap a picture of it so I can show you how creepy it is! 

**UPDATE** So I've been meaning to take a picture since I posted this but I keep forgetting.  Then Saturday I took my dogs for a walk with the intent of snapping a photo... it was GONE!!!!  The flipping statue of the flipping angel was GONE!  *internal screaming* I am a bit more terrified of my 'hood now...